To want to finish writing my novel?

[NotAnotherNewNappy]

I started it when I was PG and had all the time in the world. Now I am mum to DD (14mo), new wife to DH and, three days a week, I am also meant to be a conscientious employee. Any time I have to write has to be carved out of one of these three areas, meaning I invariably end up feeling guilty for neglecting somebody or something I am meant to be doing.

Last week I took a day's AL and sent DD to nursery. I wrote all day, it was bliss but I just read the other thread on sending your DCs to nursery over xmas and now I wonder if people will think I don't like my DD. DH is currently sulking in the living room because I wanted to sit in the bedroom and write tonight, rather than watch a film with him. DD keeps waking up every 20mins crying, I think she has picked up on how stressed I am today. This morning I let her watch CBeebies for an hour after breakfast while I made some notes.

Is there a way to do this? Am I being selfish? Is it worth it?

It is not so much that your novel will be worth it but rather that as a human being you are entitled to some space for yourself and your DH should support you in that. It's a bit 'Room of one's own'. Just because you're a mum doesn't mean you can't create art. Join a wrier's group for support and set aside one evening a week that is YOURS.

I've written several pages of a novel which everyone says are great but haven't had the drive to do any more since.

Good luck!

Okay, I wrote my first novel with very young children ,and a demanding day job.

There is only one way to do it and that is to, perhaps selfishly, set time aside to do it.
There will always be endless calls upon your time. The chores will never be finished and children will constanty and consistently require help/care/assistance.
Something must give.
For me it was housework. I did ( still do) very, very little. As soon as the DCs were asleep, I wrote, often surrounded and knee deep in shit.

Wasit worth it? Absolutely.

fattybumbum - I do feel a bit 'room of one's own' about it all - but I didn't know if that was just me having pretensions of literary grandeur.

Litchick - First novel? Does that mean you got a huge cheque for it and earned the right to complete your second in peace?

I have actually just employed a cleaner 2 hours a week to free up time for writing. He has been for the second time today and DH is out tonight. I can't wait to get home tonight and get cracking. Thank you for your support. I know I am not BU really, but I needed to get it down in writing to justify it to myself as much as anything.

Well I'm not keeping Dan Brown up at nights but, yes, I did sell that book and now get paid to write.
Keep on going...you'll be annoyed with yourself if you don't

Think of the time your DH has commuting, going to the loo, alone, at work, nipping out for drinks after work (if it hasn't happened yet, it will, and the schmoozing may be necessary for his work). All my working mum friends (sigh) tell me that they value the time at work, even though it is incredibly frazzling to balance.

Since it doesn't look as though I'm going to get a part time job apart from some proof-reading I've started doing again (and DH won't let me get away with fulltime work), I therefore have started being more open with DH about my writing, and have started being more honest with myself about it.

Whereabouts do you live, NotAnotherNewNappy? I'm in SE London. Even if you're not in the area, do let me know via this thread what's what and we can take mutual support a step further.

I am in SW london

Another S Londoner here trying to write around p/t work, 15 month old DS and everything else that has to fit inbetween! I only write short stories so you would have thought it would be easy! I was also thinking of starting up a thread in the Creative Writing topic. Even 500-1,000 words a week would keep me happy at the moment. [sigh]

Yes you are a mum, a wife and an employee BUT you are also a person and anyone who thinks that being a mother means you run yourself ragged for everyone else and do not deserve any time for you is in idiot.

Good luck with the writing, I look forward to reading your book and saying "I "knew" her on MN before she was famous

The thing with writing though, is that, unlike other 'hobbies', it is extraordinarily time consuming. Entire days can be swallowed up editing or researching and those around you don't always get that.

I think others also find it hard to understand what a ludcrously slow process it is.

During this 'nothing much to show for it' phase, you really need to hang out with other writers. Fortunately in the day of the internet, this is very easy to do. There are great websites etc.
And I'm always around MN for encouragement and support .

Oooh, I hadn't realised there was a creative writing section! This one looks promising.

There's always the weight-loss style of thread as well: how much have you lost/written today/this week? After all, most of the original words don't make it to the end version; it's important to have written something which can then be edited or thrown out or whatever. However, what is there shows that your writing is real, rather than (so far) a dream....

Haha, good idea about the weight-loss tyle of thread, WingedVictory - or we could combine the two: "Managed to write 5,000 words this week but spent so long sitting on my bum, I've put on 5lb.

Shall I see you over there?...

I've just posted. Now to do some proper writing, rather than just typing!

(Apparently, Truman Capote said Jack Kerouack's work was not writing but typing ).

I do write better with chocolate hob nobs.

I am glad I have discovered I am not alone.

I stole some time at work this afternoon and finished off the chapter I started last night. Very naughty, but then my big boss did cancel a meeting on me and I had nothing else I could start doing on a friday afternoon

i alwyas wanted to write but never ahd time, i think we should move to london
i read loads, though. sometimes i read till 2-3 int he mornng and get up at 6.30
if you lovely ladies cat me and let me know your book name i will happily read them
keep writing,

Glad you are feeling okay NotAnother. Don't feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. I took a day off work this week, leaving DS with his CM - I went shopping for the first time in about two years then came home, had a hot bath then ate chocolate and watched two episodes of Holby City I don't feel guilty one bit! And, like you, I plan to take a day off and write soon. BTW, we have migrated to the Creative Writing thread, if you ever fancy company.

Right, you've inspired me to pull my finger out and write something so I'd better sign out...