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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that sometimes you do get a bit of evidence that you are NOT in fact a terrible mother

3 replies

anononnyno · 17/11/2009 19:41

Namechanged for privacy but just wanted to post about what happened today because I do feel really encouraged about it.

Dd came home and told me she has a boyfriend - in Year 7, very cute, hugging, absolutely horrified at the idea of snogging, he sounds brighth and in to the same things as her - all good.

So we had a nice chat about it and then closed the subject and it wasn't till about an hour later that I realised I would NEVER have told my mother that sort of thing. My mother and I have a perfectly good relationship but not that sort of relationship where I could tell her something and she not judge me and I've always feared replicating that with my daughters. I don't want to let them down by making something that happens to them all about me and how I view it, it should be all about them. So anyway I feel really encouraged that dd wanted to tell me about this, that telling me about this little casual thing is a sign that she trusts me, that we can do things together not alone. There were quite a lot of things I didn't tell my parents and I thought that was normal. (Not really bad things btw) But as I get older I start to think actually there was quite a lot about that that wasn't the most normal healthy thing and I want to be different. Today it feels like maybe I am a bit, like I'm not compelled to parent in the way I was parented, and that feels good, So AIBU to think that?

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 17/11/2009 19:43

Not at all. YANBU.

It can be incredibly hard to break the link and parent differently to the way you were parented. Especially the not-so-good bits, I think. So, well done, anononnnnyno!

UpYourViva · 17/11/2009 19:59

Aww, this is lovely, i fear the same for my dd as i was never open with my mum, i hope dd will feel she can tell me anything when she's older too

usamama · 18/11/2009 10:43

YANBU...this is so great, anon...it's one of those times when you can really celebrate yourself as a mum, and you should! I hope the dialogue between you and dd continues!

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