to expect DH to answer his chuffing phone ?

[Fibilou]

DH does some gardening for an old woman on his days off - he gets paid but not very much.
I had my MW appointment today at 31 weeks - DH missed it so he could go and do her blasted garden, this was fine but I can't get hold of him to tell him how it went. He won't take the phone out of the car because "she doesn't like me answering the phone when I'm there".

AIBU to expect that DH
a) Takes his phone whether the old bag likes it or not when his wife has a MW appointment - in case something was actually wrong it would have been rather nice to actually speak to him
b) Might actually work out that by 31 weeks it would be beneficial to have the sodding phone with him in case "something happens" as I don't have a crystal ball that I won't go into premature labour.
c) To think that his 7 month pregnant wife's opinion is more important than that of the old witch he does gardening for for 2 hours a week who has no children and told me it was "dangerous" to wear a seatbelt when pregnant.

Can you tell I am annoyed ?

I'm almost scared to comment, but YABU. In my very, very 'this is not my first pregnancy' opinion.

Now, relax.

You are very annoyed ( at your dh not being let to use his mobile)

I feel your pain.

My dh rarely answers his mobile. It makes me very, very angry.

YANBU to expect that your phone call should come before the opinion of the old lady.

YABU to expect that your DH should always answer your calls because you are 31 weeks pregnant.

I would have expected him to rearrange & go to the scan with me.

Or failing that to call me at a specified time.

But YABU to be so nasty about her.

She is paying him to do a job afterall.

I didn't realise it was a scan. Was it?

My dh has never been to a midwife appointment with me, and certainly wouldn't be sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for news if the appointment was routine.

He has been to scans and consultant appointments with me, though, both in this pg (am 33wks) and the last.

Perhaps we are just a bit more low-key about this kind of thing.

Now I have calmed down a bit ! I'm really not bothered about him being at the midwife and have been pretty relaxed about him coming to stuff, I am just annoyed that despite the fact that he knows I went to the MW today he is too scared of her to take his phone with him. I just don't understand why her dislike of mobile phones means that he won't take it with him. I certainly don't expect him to immediately answer it because I'm x weeks pregnant but I do expect him not to deliberately leave it behind to avoid upsetting her, upsetting me instead. Furthermore I have had an infection recently which hasn't been nice and also had a bit of a fright at the weekend when baby didn't move all day Saturday until about 8 in the evening - usually she moves around all day. So I was a bit anxious about this appointment but said I would be fine to go on my own.

To put it in perspective, he always hurls himself at his phone when work/mates/anyone else calls yet when I call I usually have to ring about 8 times before he finally deigns to answer the thing.

Oh and Diddl, last time she saw me she said to DH "she's not as unattractive as I remember her being when I saw her last" - and that time was we had gone to visit her in hospital after she had her knee replaced as she has no family to visit her. She is rude and doesn't give a monkey's about offending anyone so you'll forgive me for not being particularly charitable about her.

Do you have her number in case there is an emergency whilst he is there?

No, that probably would be a good idea ! He finishes up with her at the beginning of January for the winter so hopefully nothing will happen but I dread a situation where I do need to get hold of him urgently and can't because the phone is in the car - sometimes he spends all day there if she decides she wants him to so I can't get hold of him all day, usually not a problem but when I'm 8.5 months PG I don't think I'd be too chuffed

You can´t be too careful!

I had a prem.

By the time I realised what was happening, the birth was about half an hour later!

She sounds sad & lonely.

I have an elderly relative & tbh since they have been on their own they have become very selfish and say what they want-to the point of rudeness/offense.

That's what I worry about - and if I do go into premature labour and he's not around I have no transport, other than a taxi

I phoned gp to tell them what was happening & they dealt with everything-midwife, ambulance.