to be a bit shocked at my GP's phraseology?

[Greensleeves]

My GP and I have a bit of a history - we have ahd a few run-ins and disagreements over the years - but on the whole we have a reasonable rapport, he knows my dh and children etc. There's a sort of "witty banter" dynamic, he fancies himself as a raconteur) He's been treating me for aniety/panic disorder/depression/chronic hypertension for wuite a few years now

I went to him today to say that I am struggling, I am not sleeping, am anxious and feeling very low and having lots of myclonic jerks and palpitations and all that stuff. We were supposed to be trying to "tailor down" my medication but it has had to go back up

He asked me about what was going on in my life, any changes etc - and I told him that although my everyday life is now pretty stable - better than ever in fact - this seems to have opened the floodgates for bad memories and feelings about my (now estranged) mother and stepfather's treatment of me/siblings while growing up

I mentioned that my stepfather had done a few things which were inappropriate and that I was feeling bad about it - until I cut off contact with them a couple of years ago I had pushed this stuff aside because I couldn't have coped with the day-to-day contact with them any other way IYSWIM

so I told the GP this, and he said, rather flippantly "Ooh, have you been fiddled with?"

to which I replied "Um, nothing he could have gone to prison for, but inappropriate behaviour"

I felt really really embarrassed

He did everything else right, offered to put me on a list for counselling, gave me the prescription for the increased dose etc

but am I being oversensitive? "Fiddled with", it's made me feel sick and wish I hadn't said anything

thank god today is over

had to go up to town with dad, kids, three other families and all their kids to see the Christmas lights being switched on and fireworks etc

probably a good thing to have had to be busy, keep my feelings in perspective etc but it has been a really stressful day, severa hours alone with my dad NOT mentioning it and covering up the awful mood I was in

now I can have a bath, MN, eat curry and potter about while he and dh drone on about the book

thanks for support earlier, I needed it x

bumping in case anyone else wants to join my grumpfest

dh and dad watching the news and wittering about book

I am sat here chewing my lips and thinking "tomorrow won't be any better than today"

YANBU. This was very insensitive. To be fair to your GP, if you have had a banter-type relationship up till now, he may have thought that he was pitching his response in a way that was appropriate to that relationship. Some patients do prefer a slightly jokey response even to very serious subjects - just today a man who is dying of lung disease was joking with me about whether I could steal some new lungs for him. However, a doctor always needs to follow a patient's lead on this - only taking a jokey approach if the patient has done so first. Even if you had bantered with him before, he should not have assumed that you wanted the same sort of response to this new, very upsetting topic.

I suspect your GP would be mortified if he read your postings. In the future, when you are feeling stronger, perhaps you could write to him explaining how you felt? In the meantime, I agree with the suggestion that you should see another GP.

Hope you feel better soon

jybay (GP)

Greeny I was there too (tis a small sheep in disguise here). We were right at the front and I fear ds may have exposed my boob to the entire region I digress..
In the last couple of months I've had to go to my GP for anxiety too. I let it get very very bad before asking for help. My GP was bloody wonderful (CAT me for his name if you want it) and I got a referral to the psych team very quickly, within a month I think it was, and was given some fantastic meds in the meantime. If you want the name of the guy I saw, I can give that too. An hour with him made me feel more grounded than I have done in years. Your GP was more than inappropriate with you and I am on your behalf. Please put in a complaint, he shouldn't be speaking like that to anyone

thanks jybay, I'm sure you are right that he didn't mean to upset me

if I hadn't been feeling so fragile and finding the whole topic so horrendously difficult anyway it might not have thrown me so much

I do feel very down about it though, can't seem to shake the feeling off

badietbuddy, weren't the fireworks good this year? Well worth the trudge up the hill...

O yes, last year dd practically had a fit the fireworks scared her so much but this year was much better. They do drag it on though, I just want the lights to go on and that's that. The children's choir were adorable though

aarrrgh can't sleep, panic attacks

this SUCKS, I need to get a grip

anyone awake?

god, greeny

hey greeny, im awake.

read you OP. same thing happened to me, very similar story, abusive SF (now dead) and mother estranged. thank god. i had panic attacks until i stopped seeing em all. cured! praise be!

no idea why im waffling - just wanted to say i think i know what your feeling. i dont let myself feel it. cant afford to think about it. hope your ok.

This is messing your head isn't it? So sorry to hear about your terrible experiences with your step dad. Your Gp was totally inappropriate.
Would it help to write it all down? When I am really upset about something I find that writing about it helps me to make sense of the mess in my head! If I can't sleep for worrying about something it almost acts as a sorting out process so I can straighten my thoughts out. Doesn't solve the problem though. Maybe start tonight by writing a letter to the practice manager expressing your distress at the way your GP has dealt with you. it doesn't have to be the final version tonight but making a start may help you to get some sleep.
Sorry i realise I am rambling. Hope it helps a little x

Hey greeny, will be here for couple hours yet if you want me to "sit with you" so to speak

do you have any strategies to go through for the attacks?

went back to bed before seeing replies, thanks for posting!

I used to have strategies Lewis but it's been such a long time, now I just grit my teeth and get through it

vicar sorry to hear your stepfuckwit was as rotten as mine

pmbear, I don't think I could face writing down the whole squalid sordid mess that is my family, I find talking about it hard enough, and typing bits of it on MN

maybe I should though, if it would help to expunge it from my day-to-day thoughts that would be great

How are you doing now greeny? How has today been?
I suggested writing cos it's something i find helpful - you don't have to show it to anyone - in fact you could burn it afterwards to symbolically see all your rotten experiences and hurt go up in smoke. it may not help but it might?

Hope you are ok

Can't believe the GP said this to you. Completely inappropriate and should be addressed. I know it can be hard to start over with a new GP, and you might be in a bit of 'devil you know' with him, but honestly, you're doing yourself (and the GP) no favours by ignoring what he said to you. By leaving it, you're giving him the impression that this kind of insensitivity is okay, and it isn't. Not for you, not for his other patients.

pombear, I really might try that, it could be very therapeutic

Yank I know you're right, I should at least have a word with him and let him know that it made me feel worse and it's not an expression anyone wants to hear from a doctor

I'm a wuss though, I hate having to initiate confrontation, and he is the sort of person who will just smile benignly and talk over me if he doesn't like what I am saying