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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be eversoslightly less than sympathetic regarding my mums cat.

4 replies

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 17/11/2009 11:06

My mum has lost "her" cat. She is convinced her neigbour has drowned/shot/poisoned/bludgeoned the thing because it used to stalk their fish.

So i have had my mother flipping between floods of tears (that i can deal with)and ranting and raving that she is going to poison their fish (i cant garuntee that she actually wouldnt you know!). She is being totally irrational. Instead of asking people to look in sheds etc she is on the warpath - its almos like she doesn't want the cat to come back.

I feel sorry for my mum, shes a widow and probably lonely, but we see her a lot, she "helps" us out a lot etc.

My sympathy has reached its limits for two reasons. Firstly, she was on my doorstep this morning when i was taking DD to school, ranting the whole walk to school and then saying to DD that she would pick her up, at which point DDs face dropped and she clung to me like a limpet until i persuaded her that mummy would be there (i had an appointment but was prepared to break it as DD still settling into school, not a big deal). So now she has upset DD - not happy.

The best bit though IT ISNT EVEN HER CAT!!! she stole the sodding creature because she decided it wasnt being looked after properly - its owner was in and out of hospital and her neighbour was feeding the cat - so it lived out most of the time, um, its a cat, they do that - i had two cats who came home for their food and never came in my house (i think it must be haunted - different story). I was so angry with her, then THAN, one day we were down the town and a man stopped and asked my mum if she knew what had happened to the cat as the owner was upset about it - she had the gall to stand there and lie!! It was obvious the guy knew she had taken it and was trying to make her feel bad and return the cat. how tempted was i to out her - i coudlnt she would never speak to me again (dont tempt me) and im an only child, she is not in good health and if i dont look out for her no one will.

So am i being unreasonable for actually thinking, what goes around comes around and the cat has probably taken itself home anyway!!

OP posts:
pippa251 · 17/11/2009 11:24

Your mum probably really loved the cat - and loosing it may 'bring back' memories of loosing your father etc. YANBU about being a bit about how she aquired it though. Would she benefit from another cat- a rescue one perhaps- so she feels like she is being kind and rescuing it?
She probably wants to project all of her maternal instincts somewhere- which is why she wanted to pick DD up.

You sound like you have a lot going on at the mo with your DD settling in at school so YANBU by getting fustrated with her. another cat would be my solution

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 17/11/2009 11:28

lol pippa, she had two more cats and a mad dog!! I know i sound mean but shes always been a bit mental over her animals. I DO feel sorry for her, i do, but she makes it so hard with her irrational behaviour (she is likened in the family to Nana of catherine tate fame). She scares people FFS

Another cat? nup, no way, nay nay nay - just more trouble!! lol

OP posts:
Rantagonist · 17/11/2009 11:29

Have you hit the nail there with the fact that she's a widow and lonely. Even if you and your family see her a fair bit, the cat not coming back could be equated in her mind with her husband not coming back?

People do get really attached to their pets, and when they dont come back, for whatever reason, it can seem to others as though it's a disproportionate overreaction when there are other things they think they should be worried about IYSWIM?

Awww, I'm sure you are, but give her as much sympathy as you can muster

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 17/11/2009 11:35

trouble is, i know she would have been just as bad if my poor old dad was here - only it would be him who was getting it in the neck and not me. Oohhh i am mean - anyway, ive arranged to go to get cake after school with her - so thats my bit done lol

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