to be angry with father in law?

[morethanithot]

DS is 5 yrs old. while very appreciative of the help grandparents gave us in first year such as having him for 3 working days a week due to nursery costs, i have long felt that father in law is overtly competitive with me for son's affections. today, son tells me apropos of nothing, that "grampy loves me best". further inquiry reveals that his grandfather has told him this a few times. i am fuming. this is so very petty on one level, and i should just let it go, but i am angry that he would dare to play mind games with my son.

Do you not think that fil means that he loves his gs best as in better than he loves anyone else rather than better than you?

Clearly there is more going on which is why you have read it as you have said but it is probably a totally innocent loving comment

this is a joke, right?

yabu

mind games....

When I first read that I thought he meant grampy loves GS more than grampy loves anyone else, not grampy loves GS more than anyone loves loves GS. iyswim.

Could you have misinterpreted?

Sorry but on what you have said in the original post, I think YABU. It sounds like the sort of lovely silly conversation that GCs and GPs have, when they are just pure joy to each other with none of the complicated stuff that parents and children have to deal with. I think perhaps you need to find a way to let this one go over your head.

no, i haven't misinterpreted really. it would take too long, but there have been several instances, such as complaining that "you like your mum more than me", showing off in front of health visitor etc. too much to go into for now. feeling calmer now anyways, so will let this slide again, see how the christmas display goes this year.

OK if you FIL has actually said "you like your mum more than me" in those words then that is a problem.

But I don't see an issue with the first comment it just means he loves GS his GS more than he loves anyone else - actually it probably doesn't even mean that: it is just a cute convo they had. Relax.

to be honest i dont see a problem as our family is very loving and jokey like this my mum will say nanny loves you best and ds will say no mummy does etc and i will say i love you bestest

i dont see it as mind games but affection i wonder why you would feel this of fil as you appear to be jealous of him a child's love regardless of who says what is unconditional and a child will not be screwed up from affection

if so my ds has 3 lots of grandparents who all make gestures of this kind but he hasn't once thought anything of it apart from they love him

i wonder if you feel you need to compete but you don't its ok for everyone to love one child and although he may be competing there is nothing wrong with a grandparent loving there grand child im sure his saying nothing maliciously to turn your child against you his just doing what a lot of grandparents do

could the you like your mum than me be a joke though taken seriously again as my fil will say you prefer your mum to me but as a joke as ds always wants me to do everything for him even when willing granddad is there but its just joke or if it isn't ive never taken offence to it

So his GP says to him 'I love you the best' and you seem to have a problem?

If you work and you have a regular carer for your son you have to expect that they will have feelings for eachother and that should be a bonus.

waa? Why was my message deleted by mumsnet?