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AIBU?

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Original poster

to have posted this on freecycle?

77 replies

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 16/11/2009 21:40

I have offered some stuff on freecycle over the weekend as we are moving soon and need to clear out. It included DD's old all-terrain pushchair and a few large toys.

Anyway lots of people replied, and despite my explaining in the original 'offer' posts that I use the 'fair offer policy' (ie waiting 24 hours to give those without a home computer time to respond), one woman emailed me five times with increasing arseyness wanting something and demandong a reply with my contact number, and another woman three times. All within hours of the post going up.

All things are now off to new homes so I put up this 'taken' post - "These have all now found new homes. Can I just say again that I use the 'fair offer policy' as set out in the rules and etiquette file - so it will always be at least 24 hours before items are given
away, in order to give everyone a chance to respond. Anyone who sends multiple
emails within this time asking for a decision will just be ignored."

Anyway now the arsey woman has emailed me again and I don't want to read it!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 17/11/2009 21:30

I didn't know here was an anit sob sotry policy.

I'm new to Freecycle, and was quite at one sob story I had...then felt sort of bad for not giving the item to that person.

I also had a "Thank you" email from a lady the other day. It really made me pleased I'd given somethign away. Just a shame the lady who colected very nice double pushchair when I was out didn't email to say thankyou.

madmissy · 17/11/2009 21:38

we recently had a announcement that 'sob stories' are not what its about blah blah and that anyone is entitled to ask despite your needs etc etc

mumblechum · 17/11/2009 21:46

I'm wondering whether to give a rather nice coffee table to a local furniture charity rather than freecycle, as am having similar problems.

I always bring a small gift when I collect something, a bunch of flowers or some chocolates or at least a thank you card and am surprised at how surprised the donors always are!

MortaIWombat · 17/11/2009 22:04

Oh god, me too. Don't think I've ever had anything more than a mumbled "ta" (if I'm very lucky) while they take the stuff. Most just say "I'm here for the X", take it and go. I have brought a nice bottle of wine, or a box of chocs (only ever actually got stuff twice).

Having given away a pack n play travel cot, a pram, a high chair, toys, clothes, baby bath, re-usable nappies and, essentially, all stuff used between the ages of 0-1, I have lost faith in my fellow man. They are all bastards....

bibbitybobbityhat · 17/11/2009 22:12

I cannot be arsed to freecycle. It seems such a hassle when you are just trying to give something away! I charity shop it too, or give to the school jumble, or to people I know, or just leave things outside my house. Someone always comes along and takes it .

cat64 · 18/11/2009 17:38

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ILoveStripeySocks · 18/11/2009 17:51

Ive been given flowers and chocs for stuff ive given away (microwave, pushchairs, freezer, fridge, tv, toys, moses baskets & bags of clothes). Also gave away a decent leather suite, didnt even get a thank you email or anything! felt a bit at that.

PeedOffWithNits · 18/11/2009 18:53

I was once given money when someone collected something! he could hear the kids playing, asked how many I had (it was buggy I was giving away) and gave me £3 - a quid for each. very sweet I thought.

some rude people do not even send a thank you.some do not even reply to say "thanks but I've already got one now" when you post to offer something they needed!

some people in short are just so rude! and there are sooo many time wasters!

Bathsheba · 18/11/2009 19:02

I read our Freecycle evry day - mainly the wanted ads because they are the funniest..

What I find fascinating is the number of people willing to bare everything in public - I think the alst time I checked our freecycle had about 4000 members (big rural area, and large urban area with 2 universities and a lot of students...)....and yet people seem to have no qualms about telling an audience of this size about thir financial problems, the fact their daughter has just been evicted, the fact that all their neighbours hate them because "We are English" (I'm in Scotland).

The one that stuck with me most is the email - to 4000+ local people - from someone explainingtheir daughter had been at her friends and had played with her Nintendo DS and now wanted one, but she had previously asked for something else for her birthday and, as a single Mum she had spent all the available birthday money on that item and had nothing left to buy the now wanted DS...

I just can't believe people cannot self edit...

And the AMOUNT of sod stories - our local maternity hospital seems to send home a LOT of "very sick and premature" babies who need a car seat for Granny's car, or a battery operated swing, or a Phil and Ted's pram...

PeedOffWithNits · 18/11/2009 19:06

one of the funniest "asks" i saw was for a changing bag "must be black to match my pram" - must be black ? you either NEED one or you don't!

ChilloHippi · 18/11/2009 19:27

A wanted ad for a Phil and Teds sports has just popped up on ours tonight.

caykon · 18/11/2009 19:47

someone actually offered a phil and teds on ours, bet they had lots or replys

hester · 18/11/2009 19:59

I've found most people very civil, but I did have one woman turn up to collect a buggy off me. She was not exactly forthcoming with thanks - quite brusque, in fact - asked if I had anything else to give away, said, "When you do, offer it to us first" and handed me her address!

I did actually (foolishly) send on to her a buggysnuggle to go with the buggy, and she never bothered to acknowledge receipt, let alone say thanks.

What IS it with people?!

Alambil · 18/11/2009 20:26

I asked for something the other day and got an email saying "I have one for sale for £10..."

I replied saying I'd been offered one already in line with FREEcycle regulations but thanks anyway

She replied the next day saying "I THOUGHT you wanted an X - I have one for sale. £10. Tell me if you want it" (yes, she capitalised!)

I didn't bother replying - was obvious she read the previous days messages and assumed they were new, the numpty.

QuintessentialShadows · 18/11/2009 20:34

lewisfan, could you pass her email onto the mods?

perfectstorm · 18/11/2009 20:34

Most people I've encountered on FC have been lovely - one gave me some home grown rhubarb as a thank you, another we delivered a bed to as we were moving so had the van, and she was lovely and had been entirely honest with her sob story (daughter's bed broke, she'd just lost her job) and she posted the loveliest thank you as well. And I've had someone deliver something for us as we have no car as well as drop things over as they were local and "it was no trouble."

The rude askers, though. Oh God. And the obviously fake sob stories that read like Nigerian bank scams ("our pastor is sleeping on the floor with his wife as he is here to work with the homeless and his pay has not yet come through, so this bed would be most useful. Please accet five pounds for it from our Church funds.") Though no worse than arsey people on Ebay, either - tis just life.

lovechoc · 18/11/2009 20:36

you did the right thing, you are the one offering an item it's up to you who you offer it to. as far as I'm aware you don't have to individually reply to every single person to emails you. you can just put a 'taken' message on the board and then the rest will know it wasn't for them.
some people are so grabby. she obviously didn't deserve your items.

YANBU. fair game.

GrendelsMum · 18/11/2009 20:53

I operate the Fair Offer Policy, and then we rule out anyone who is rude, and then give it to whoever's nearest or sounds nice. DH and DD enjoy deciding who sounds nicest.

Lotster · 18/11/2009 21:06

I just joined today and gave away a buggy, but wasn't sure whether to do first come first served or what....

But out of the several replies I got, none of them divulged anything further than that they wanted it and could they have it? So I just went with the first one, did I do wrong?!! I just couldn't bear anymore people lining up to be disappointed

prettyfly1 · 18/11/2009 21:57

I got this as well - email your group moderator with her details and the emails you have received. THey are normally great at dealing with it. ;)

cat64 · 19/11/2009 16:37

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Lotster · 19/11/2009 19:29

Thanks Cat! I'm currently waiting for said person to show...

Ponders · 20/11/2009 09:24

Our jobsworth mod doesn't allow us to post "Received, thanks" if we've got it from an Offer - only if you got something from a Wanted. (If you break this rule, the post is removed from the site & you get an email telling you off )

The donor may post a Taken, & that's all the public acknowledgement allowed (nothing to stop people emailing their thanks of course )

cat64 · 21/11/2009 14:44

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JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 21/11/2009 15:08

Just amke sure make a note of who the grabby woman was so you don't give something else to her, or ask for anything off her!

I've had loads of cheeky fc people, from the ones who don't thank you, or barely speak at all when they stomp into your house to collect an item, to an old bloke who properly told me off because the red velvet chesterfield sofa I had offered was "too big for his conservatory" (I did point out that I'd never even seen his conservatory...)

...to the ones who look around your livingroom and ask if anything else is going. And yeah, the ones who ask where you live and then say "it'd be no trouble for you to deliver it to me would it, you're only a few minutes from me" - cheeky!

And the "nice" ones who stand and chat pleasantly for a few minutes with you, but then think that entitles them to receive all future offerings from you at the mere mention of their name. I think that's called networking.

Meh, I moan but I still freecycle all the time. Most of them/us are good eggs!