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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To confront or not

5 replies

tiredntetchy · 16/11/2009 21:17

I live rurally. There is a little toddler grp a couple of miles from my house that i have been going to since i moved here.

There is a woman there at the mo, she is local, has been all her life and she has completely taken over. As a result of her bossiness no one now attends except her 2 pals. No one else feels welcome. She'll do things like take out stuff for an activity SHE has arranged but then if one of the kids wants something from the toy cupboard she'll make it clear that its not on. Its her way or the high way.

It has put lots of mums off. For a lot of us toddler is a place where we relax and chat to other mums, the kids play with toys that are new to them and socialize with other kids. Thats it. No big need for the pressure of organised activities for the mums or for kids who maybe prefer the cars to the paints etc.

It has now been the case that it is this women plus her 2 pals at toddler no one else and when the rest of the community meet else where we talk about how awful the toddler grp is.

I don't know if it is better to just agree with other mums that we should go and just do our own thing and put up with this womens huffs or confront her and say she is making people feel not welcome. She is a PITA and very bossy and bitchy but weirdly i don't find her intimidating at all, i am one of the few who go sometimes and i just do my own thing. I live here too!

What would you do?? Losing this grp would be awful as it has been a life line for many.

OP posts:
alicet · 16/11/2009 21:22

Who runs the group?

To be honest I don't think there is anythign wrong with confronting her but perhaps an easier and less confrontational way would be to talk to whoever runs it explaining why so few people come and letting them know that it would be more popular if they encouraged this woman to chill out a bit.

Of course if she runs it this is not an option and given that you are happy to talk to her (and it needn't be confrontational - just explain that some mums would prefer it to be a bit less structured and you would like the other toys to be available for the children who prefer not to do so many structured activities)

fwiw I would feel the same as you!

mazzystartled · 16/11/2009 21:22

does she run it? is there a committee?

you should all just go, en masse, and do what you want to do. stage a revolution!

tiredntetchy · 16/11/2009 21:47

There are 3 on the commitee. Me, her and there was another mum who i get on with but the horrible women was such a cow to her that she doesn't come anymore and so horrible woman has now appointed someone else in her place.

OP posts:
busybutterfly · 16/11/2009 21:53

Agree with mazzy. Strength in numbers!!

tiredntetchy · 16/11/2009 22:00

a revolution sounds great.

Will pass on the word!!

Thanks peeps.

OP posts:
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