My Dads family plus my sisters have come to my house for christmas for the last 6 years. I dont have a great relationship with my dad BUT have always enjoyed seeing his for christmas when he comes around for an hour or two for dinner.
In the summer my grandmother came over tp have food then went on holiday to spain. While she was on holiday she was ill and ended up is hospital, since then she has been avoiding coming to my house and its obvious she thinks that it was me who made her ill somehow! even though no one else here was ill and it was a good few days before she was ill after being here!.
My dad has now told me that they dont want to eat here for christmas and they will pop over for half an hour after they have had thier dinner at their house and he implied that it was because they believe my grandmother!. The hospital told her she had a stomach bug Im not sure how I am supposed to have given her that but never mind.
My sister thinks it is ridiculous as I do and I dont want to spend the whole of christmas day waiting around for them to bother coming but at the same time when I suggested that they just come around another day my dad was horrified and started bringing up "what would your mother say if she were alive" etc.
My sister has invited us up to their house (we have three children under 6 so she may regret it!) and has asked us to stay from the weekend before christmas for two weeks for a proper holiday. They live the other side of the country from us so it would be a nice change and she has room for us just about.
Would it be totally inreasonable to just go and not tell my dad,stepmother and gran and then just email them once we are there and tell them not to bother coming round christmas day?
I cant stand the guilt when my dad talks about my mum and I dont want to be waiting aorund on him christmas day when I could be relaxing enjoying the time with my sister!
is it too mean??