To be ridiculous about ds going to school in September?

[usamama]

I already KNOW I am being unreasonable about this...
My ds will be 4 next June, and therefore, starting reception in September. I am dragging my feet in sending back his registration form; every time I think about him going to school, I feel awful, and I don't know why!! He is bright and social, so I don't think there would be a PROBLEM with him going to school...I'm just really struggling with the decision. The weird thing about this is that I am not normally overprotective...I WANT my children to try things and do some activities independently of me (they are both at playgroup 5 mornings a week, and it's so great for all of us!), so this has completely thrown me for a loop. Is it just a bit of jitters because he's my first 'baby', and school is just a huge thing???
I think I just need reassurance...I do know I'm being unreasonable!!!

I started school at 7 as was required by law. The country has long had one of the highest literacy levels in the world.

Reception isn't compulsory, Rollmops, it starts at 4 years old, and it models sort of an extended playgroup (which kids are eligible for from 2).

Cory...thanks for that...it's what I am feeling like...I think I am nervous about the academic part (that's what I'm not ready for), but DS is really ready for the social part. Most of his playgroup friends last year were the kids who are now all at 'big school', and that is so exciting to him...so he does seem to want to know what it's all about (which is encouraging).

I just keep remembering how good playgroup was for him when he first started...and I was a little nervous then, too. But, he really loved it, and he is SO different socially now...he was never really a shy kid to start, but since being in that environment, he has really blossomed, and is much more outgoing.

See??? I'm feeling much more positive already!!

Yes, weegiemum...the rules are really rigid, and it actually drives me MORE crazy for my SECOND child...dd's birthday is September, so when it comes time for her to start reception, she will turn 5 a week after the term starts, and they won't let her do it a year earlier. Thing is, with her, I would be happy for her to start earlier...she is so much different than DS, and will most likely be ready by the time she's 3 going on 4. A little frustrating!

In the US we start at 5, like here, and Preschool (reception) is optional, and in most cases, you have to pay for it.

In one of my courses this semester, one excerpt of a recent study suggests that the age that a person starts formal education doesn't really matter all that much; if they are ready, possess an average intellect, and have home support...all of those factors are far more important than age. So, I will let DS guide me...I certainly am not going to hold him back if he's ready, but will keep him home if he isn't.

All school is optional - it's education that is compulsory. If you don't feel your child is ready until they're 10, then don't send them until then! Or if you don't ever feel school is right for them, there is nothing to say you have to send them ever (I hope none of mine will ever go to school but we'll see what they really want as they get older.)

And I really agree, IME, with what usamama said in her last paragraph.

My son was born in June and started school this September just gone. He is only doing mornings at the moment and won't be full time until mid January.

Unless you are planning on HE or deferring him for a year you need to get the form in or you might end with no place at the school you want.

My DD started school one month after turning 3! (pre-school/nursery class which is just 3 hours per day). I thought her and I were both ready as she had been going to playgroup and creche prior to starting school. She LOVES school and has made so many lovely little friends, but she is SHATTERED by the end of the day (far more so than she used to be after playgroup). Also they have to wear uniform (ridiculous for 3yos IMO), get changed for PE on their own (yeah right!), and go to toilet on their own(!).
I wouldn't take DD out of school as she gets so much out of it and really enjoys the things they do, but it is a little bit heart-breaking to see your little 3yo walking off into school on their own with their tiny little school uniform on! I think I find it a lot harder than she does tbh!

That isn't proper school though Undefcovamuthha. And you have a choice not to send her.

ComeonFab - You're right that it isn't 'compulsory' school, although here in Wales almost ALL children start school at 3 (in the year they turn 4). I only know one person who hasn't sent her 3 year old and is waiting until reception year.

I think you'll be doing the right thing registering for a place, and thinking a bit more about what to do as the time approaches.

Once you have a place, you will be able to talk to the head and class teacher about your specific concerns. You might want to ask if they are happy that DS deosn't start until the New Year, or if he can go part time. If they have a flexible attitude and make you feel more relaxed about your DS starting school, then all well and good, otherwise you can always reconsider the option to HE.

Also, I found my DD changed hugely in the year between applying for places and the actual start of school (a year out of a 4yo's life is a huge proportion) - she became for more ready for it and as a result I was happier about her starting. Again, you can see how you are feeling closer to the time and make decisions then.

Sorry for wittering, and good luck with your decision.

Pre school and play school are not the same as reception though and you don't have to send them so to say the kids are going to school at 3 is not really true.

There are prem August born boy twins in DD1s fulltime preschool class, they are so tiny! Most start at 3 around here too.

reception isnt compulsory, but your child needs to have a place if you intend them to go to school as if you dont apply til they are five they will have to go straight into year 1 and it will be at whatever school in your area has spare places

dd is 5 next sept and I am terrifed at the thought of her going to big school (and I ma a reception teacher) but it will be fine, she has a lot of growing up to do before sept and if it's not fine then I will worry about that at the time.

YANBU to be worried but you do need to apply for the place for the reason above unless you are planning on home ed or you want the places left over at schools no one else wants! sadly.

I was in complete denial about ds2 starting school and was worse than I was with August born dd, but it has been fine and he is having a great time.

ComeonFab - whilst you are right that it isn't actually the first year of school, apart from undoubtably the curriculum, I don't notice any difference.

DD is in a mixed class with nursery and reception children. She lines up outside school with all the other children (up to 11yos), she goes to Harvest Festival etc with all the other infant school children, she plays outside at playtime with reception children, she uses the same toilets, she wears the school uniform, and does PE.

So what is the difference apart from her only going half day (and a lot of schools in Wales take children full-time from 3!).

The only real difference is that she doesn't HAVE to go. Yet all her friends from playgroup go and she loves it. Its just me that has the problem !

Yes, ds did all that too. When he was at playschool.

I sent in the form, so at least he'll have a place somewhere. A few of you talked about how much your own DC's changed from 3-4, and I keep forgetting that...my ds IS still only 3, so of course when I look at him now, he seems way to young to be going to school. He has changed tremendously from 2-3, so by Sept., I might feel a bit less freaked out.

You've all given me 'permission' to keep my options open, and that's really helped, and it's calmed me down a lot. Now I feel like it doesn't have to be all or nothing; if he goes and loves it, fine. If he struggles, I can do HE with him, which I am comfortable with. Like I said, I don't want to hold him back if he's ready, but I certainly don't want to push him into it if he's not.

Thank you all so much for your guidance here...I feel like I'm actually thinking about it a little more rationally now, rather than silly, wrecked, overprotective crazy mama!