to think its rude to make long phone calls when you have 'visitors'

[Undercovamutha]

I went to stay with my parents recently (I usually visit about every other month as they don't live nearby) and was looking forward to having a nice relaxing evening chatting with them, once the DCs had gone to bed. It is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to have any kind of conversation whilst the DCs are awake and demanding attention, so it is nice in the evening to have a nice chill-out and gossip. The first night I was there my auntie rang my mum (for only about 10 minutes as she knew I was visiting) and then my sister rang for about 40 minutes. When my mum finished talking to my sister, she said that she would try and call again the next evening (the second and last night of my visit) to get an update on some problem my sister was having. By the time these phonecalls were over it was getting quite late and shortly after we went to bed.
The next night, I was looking forward to chatting to my mum again, but once we had cleared up after tea etc, she said she was going to give my sister a quick call. She was then on the phone to my sister for over an hour. I was a bit pissed off at this, and (not too stroppily) told my mum that I was a bit miffed that both evenings of my visit had been 'used up' by my mum speaking to my sister. My mum said that she didn't want to let my sister down as she (my sister) had some things she wanted to discuss fairly urgently, and that as I wasn't a 'proper' guest my mum didn't think it was a problem.
I didn't pursue it and we left it amicable, but I am just wondering now whether you think I was BU to be pissed off?

hmm, depends. I think YANBU but almost certainly some people will think you are. My mum used to do this, my Dad still does it sometimes and it does get my goat - seems to make me so much less important than other people.

When we were little, my Mum used to go ballistic at us if we tried to attract her attention while she was on the phone - however, when I was living away from home and used to phone her, it seemed like anyone/thing could distract her, including the cat! Most rude, I thought.

Still, that's family for you.

Depends.

Was your sister having a genuine crisis? If yes, then your Mum was right to spend the time. If no, then your Mum could have spoken to your sis, but didn't need to spend so long on the phone.

What is your relationship like with your sister?

thesecondcoming - could also be that the sister is jealous of the OP, and wanted Mum's attention.....

TSC - was wondering if it may be a bit of sibling rivalry !
But don't actually think Dsis's (actually quite non-urgent) issue warranted TWO conversations, both of nearly an hour each on both nights of my stay. I went home the next day, so its not like there was long to wait.
And if I ring my mum and she says she has visitors (incl family) I either say I'll ring back or say I'll just be two minutes.

EB - have a good relationship with Dsis - although have the normal older sister 'hard done by' feelings as well!

I dunno, I don't actually count immediate family (i.e. Mum, sisters, PILs etc) as "visitors" - they are just part of the furniture when they are here (or we are there).

And if your sister had an actual problem that she needed to talk to your Mum about then that should have (and did) taken precedence.

Know what you mean about immediate family Morloth, but surely if you only see your parents about once a month, then you need to pay a bit more attention than if you see each other every day?
I think it kind of comes down to telephone etiquette. IMO if someone rings up when you are eating dinner, or if you have people visiting then you need to either say you'll ring back or keep the conversation short. That's what I do. But DM (and DH as well actually) just don't like to say anything even if people phone at a totally inappropriate time.

Telephone etiquette seems to have gone out of the window now the mobile phone is here to stay...
Sorry... pet hate... carry on