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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

help me do the right thing!

25 replies

MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:21

argh, have terrible need to confess

I bumped into a car last night, I was backing out of a space in a private/shared car park with my lights off (so headlights didn't glare into sitting room of neighbour who kindly lets me park there in the first place, as there is no parking on my side of the lane). Consequently I didn't see the car that had been parked behind me, across a couple of garages, and sort of bounced off it. At first I thought I must have backed out way way further than usual and hit a garage door - but was in a hurry (picking up daughter from airport) so left it until we got back. Obviously this is very wrong of me but they effectively blocked my car in by parking there, and I genuinely didn't/couldn't see it out of rear view mirror over the high head rests of my back seat and the spare wheel on the back window. Which just goes to show how dangerous these Discos are doesn't it? Imagine if it had been a person or a cat etc.

I think the car belongs to someone visiting one of my other neighbours, and I think they must have stayed the night and not discovered the damage (if any) yet. I know I need to confront them and sort it all out, am just absolutely dreading it and hoping it will somehow not be as bad as I think it is. And am also, a bit cross that they parked in such a stupid place - it was dark, car park is unlit and the car in question is a low, dark blue or black sporty thing.

How can I gather together the courage to go and knock on the door and explain myself?

OP posts:
InMyLittleHead · 15/11/2009 13:23

Is the car still there? Can you go and see whether there is any damage? It depends which way you bumped it - if you bumped the bumper there prob won't be any damage, but if you bumped the side you may have dented it.

MayorNaze · 15/11/2009 13:24

just do it. be apologetic. very. you will feel much worse if you don't, or, worse, if they come looking for you. be brave and good luck

MayorNaze · 15/11/2009 13:25

oh yes, do check first. make sure there is actual damage before going cap in hand

MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:26

ok you are right

argh am such a coward

ok am doing it

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MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:41

car is not there - approached a man nearby with similar car, bonnet open, doing oil or water or something like that and asked him if he knew who it was or had seen anything and he said he was sure that, if car had been damaged, I would have heard about it by now

am not so sure, I hit the side of the vehicle not a bumper and it must be a bit squished at least

perhaps they left in the night and didn't notice the damage

would like this to be over and done with really

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RealityBites · 15/11/2009 13:44

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MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:47

oh dear

I suppose if I really really really wanted to do the right thing I'd start knocking on neighbours' doors and try to track down the owner, starting with the people who had a party last night as it seems overwhelmingly likely to have been a guest of theirs - because surely nobody would park in such a ridiculous place unless they had permission?

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MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:50

should I tell the police?

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RealityBites · 15/11/2009 13:52

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thumbwitch · 15/11/2009 13:55

Mitchy, what are the police going to do? No one was hurt, you have no details of the car, you haven't done anything criminal.

If you can remember which garages it was, perhaps you could leave a note taped to the doors asking if anyone there knows the car - or do a note and drop it into everyone's letterbox who uses that carpark.

Don't beat yourself up - tis not your fault.

MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 13:55

SCARED of those neighbours a bit though

but think you are right

but in some ways would rather hand myself in to the police!

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RealityBites · 15/11/2009 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RealityBites · 15/11/2009 13:57

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thumbwitch · 15/11/2009 13:58

oh dear, well, I hesitate to say it and no doubt will get flamed for it, but just leave it be. Self-flagellation is all very well but possibly not that helpful - leave the note on the garage door and if someone comes back to the spot they will see it. If they don't, then there probably was nothing wrong with their car.

MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 14:02

neighbours are probably really nice, they just look a bit forbidding and am worried they might know I am a care in the community case eccentric person

would note look more weird than a visit in person to garage owner?

thought it was a criminal offence to fail to report an accident, that's why was thinking of the police?

also have been on receiving end of malicious damage to vehicles and it's horrible

also worried about messing up my karma

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 14:03

(thank you all for being so tolerant thus far )

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Squishabelle · 15/11/2009 14:07

I really dont think the police would be interested in this. I think you should just forget it. If something is said in the future then you can come clean but at the moment there really isnt much you can do. Stop being a worrit!!

thumbwitch · 15/11/2009 14:12

if your karma wanted anything done about it, the car would still have been there, or you would have found the owner really easily.

the cosmos is telling you to let it go...

MayorNaze · 15/11/2009 14:27

be brave and go and see scray neighbours. if they are in any way decent human beings they will appreciate your honesty.

if it were me i would be well scared tbh, but ultimately it would eat me up until i did solved the prob. good luck

busybutterfly · 15/11/2009 14:28

Or, in this instance, carma?!

thumbwitch · 15/11/2009 14:33

heh heh - was specifically avoiding that particular pun, bb!

busybutterfly · 15/11/2009 14:36

Oh tw I just couldn't resist. Hate myself for it. Off to have a . Maybe a Wagon Wheel?

thumbwitch · 15/11/2009 14:41
Grin
TamsinToo · 15/11/2009 14:49

Thing is if you don't report what happened to the Police and the other party does and you are traced (which is not unlikely now you have outted yourself by speaking to at least one neighbour) you will be convicted of failing to report/stop at the scene of an accident

See here www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/legal-advice/at-the-accident.html

MitchyInge · 15/11/2009 17:17

argh

see, I thought that would be the case

probably a bit late to phone plod now, maybe tomorrow

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