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Original poster

to feel disappointed over nativity casting

115 replies

madamearcati · 15/11/2009 10:48

We are a small village school and every year the school has a nativity and so does the unattached pre-school.
It always seems to be the nicest looking children who are the angels and Mary and Joseph. The ones with the round cherubic faces ,pink cheeks and usually blonde hair
It can't be coincidence !In fact I once heard the TA discussing whether it would be 'ok' to cast an absolutely drop dead gorgeous mixed race little girl as an angel (because of her colouring )
Before the inevitable 'sour grapes' comments I would like to point out that my DD will be off for the nativity this year recovering from a minor operation.

OP posts:
MeAndMyMonkey · 15/11/2009 13:42

this brings back horrid memories from nativity plays from my infant schooldays in the 1970's when Mary and all the angels were invariably blonde-haired and blue eyed... in a multi-ethnic London school.
I was a little bit of a bitter brunette... Thank god for Snow White as a role model!

MillyR · 15/11/2009 13:49

Goblinchild, that seems a bit unfair! Surely the child should be given a part on the same criteria that the other children are cast on. It is not the fault of goat child that she has a crazy mother.

babybarrister · 15/11/2009 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katsh · 15/11/2009 14:11

My dd's nursery was very inclusive - children were offered a part, but if they said they'd rather be something else, the staff did all they could to accommodate them. My dd2 refused to be an angel - said she wanted to be a teacup

phobiccauliflower · 15/11/2009 15:07

Did you hear the TA say it was because of her colour? It might have been because she said she didn't want to be an angel, because they had earmarked her for something else, because they already had their quota of angels and she had specifically asked to be one, mum was an outspoken atheist, etc etc.

At our school Mary and the rest of the Nativity tableau are small non-speaking parts in the Christmas production overall that I'm always surprised on MN when mums attach such importance to it! Don't you have plays like 'The Hopeless Camel' and 'Whoops-a-daisy Angel' like us?

TheCrackFox · 15/11/2009 15:13

I would put in an official complaint about the TA, I wouldn't want her anywhere near my DCs.

At our school the parts seem to go to the children who will remember their lines.

NanaNina · 15/11/2009 15:19

Think a lot of people are over reacting about the TA. After all it was only an "overheard" remark and might have been misconstrued.

This took me back to my primary school days (many many years ago!) I went to a Catholic school and so a nativity was a must and in those days it was always traditional. How I longed to be Angel Gabriel or even an angel that stood behind the manger with arms crossed over breast but noooooooo.....they were usually the girls with long blond hair (mine was short and mousy) or the rich children (there were a few - doctors children and the like) - I only ever got to stand in the chorus line and gabble a few lines along with all the other "also rans" - scarred for like I reckon.

Mind I can't pretend I wasn't thrilled when my granddaughter was cast as Mary in Year 2!! Made up for all my disappointment.

risingstar · 15/11/2009 15:24

my dd1 was due to be an angel at playgroup when she was 3 but had chicken pox

her lower school did a play every christmas, involving every child- in all 6 years she didnt get to be an angel- they were all blonde- yes really and honestly- the teacher in charge thought that was what angels should look like.

one year she was the only girl to be a rat in the Pied Piper of Hamlin- same teacher said it would suit her. WTF?

Still- it is character building - it is useful to learn as a child that other people have an irrational dislike of you just because they are idiots and often they will be in charge of you.

oh and same teacher also felt that Mary should have dark hair and rosy red cheeks.

sarah293 · 15/11/2009 15:31

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muminthemiddle · 15/11/2009 16:22

Doesn't this reflex society as a whole though.

Being petite, blonde, blue eyed, white is still put forward in all manner of ways as being the "ideal".

Thankfully we now have black dolls, dolls with brown eyes etc to encourage a fairer outlook on life.

But we are still conditioned to believe that Mary really did look like Claudia Schiffer.

Goblinchild · 15/11/2009 16:56

"Goblinchild, that seems a bit unfair! Surely the child should be given a part on the same criteria that the other children are cast on. It is not the fault of goat child that she has a crazy mother.'

Unfortunately Goatchild had the same attitude as her mother as to the sheer importance of her own contributions. The child I was always saying 'There are 31 other children in this class, and your turn is not always first' to.
Fortunately, now I have Y5 many are far too embarrassed to want a starring role and actually request to be either a reader or a scenery painter in any activities.

susiey · 15/11/2009 17:01

I was Mary in my nativity play I was brown short haired and not espececially good looking. Think I was picked for my ability to sit still!

My daughters school will not have a nativity but our church one is come dressed as what you like so we may have 8 Mary's and no shepherds but bring it on!

sarah293 · 15/11/2009 17:05

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Message withdrawn

KimiTheThreadSlayer · 15/11/2009 17:17

I always got to be the virgin Mary for some reason.

DS2 is a sheep this year, and when DP laughed at him I pointed out that as it is being told from the point of the sheep DS2 has a lead roll.
Know what you mean about all the blonds being angels though I so wanted to be an angel

PeedOffWithNits · 15/11/2009 18:32

DS was a donkey last year and is going to be a wiseman this year. he is well pleased because apparently "a king is much better than a donkey"

FWIW I was the ugliest kid in my primary school Y6 class but got the lead role of mary as i was a) one of the few church goers
b) the best singer (it was a musical)

very sad if even our schools are teaching kids that looks count above all else.

Tidey · 15/11/2009 18:37

DS has never been cast as anything, because he doesn't want to have to talk in front of people. So he's always stood right at the back, just singing the songs. Very disappointing for me, but there's no point me being pushy if he's not happy to be on stage.

The TA's comment is bloody awful though OP.

forehead · 15/11/2009 18:39

My daughter was a calendar in last years nativity and she really loved her role.
As others have suggested, it is usually the loud mouths who get the main speaking parts. However the child who was Mary last year was a very shy child but was cast as Mary to increase her confidence,which it did.

giraffesCannaeFlingPieces · 15/11/2009 18:45

bitoffun thats classic! Horrid Henry does that in the book!!

AliGrylls · 15/11/2009 18:59

I like it Goblinchild.

FabIsLosingThePlot · 15/11/2009 19:05

My DD is a narrator this year with 2 lines and I am as proud as anything as normally she wouldn't have the confidence to speak.

BitOfFun · 15/11/2009 19:11

Really Giraffe? I've never read her them- probably just as well, if it would give her ideas like that

daisyj · 15/11/2009 19:24

I was Mary when I was six in a Midlands county town where I was probably the only Jewish child for 60 miles, and certainly the only one they'd ever had at that school. I think they were quite pleased to be able to add and element of authenticity to the proceedings .

biscuitbear · 15/11/2009 19:31

Ok, why do they have nativity plays? Is it educational?
Is it actually because parents like to see them? My DD found the whole rehearsal thing really stressfull last year so i took her out of the production. I just don't get it.

acebaby · 15/11/2009 22:37

In DS' school, the older/more confident children have the speaking parts and the reception children generally get 'crowd'/non speaking parts. He is an angel - because the angel's stand at the back of the big stable scenes so can be yanked off by the TA if they play up (this actually happened to DS in his nursery play last year )! The more co-operative reception children are cattle (because they have to crawl round at the front out of range of the adults hovering round behind the scenes).

It is sad when children of 4 and 5 are judged on the basis of looks, and tragic when they are judged on the basis of race.

campion · 15/11/2009 23:06

Fear not ( topical reference) if you think your child won't be noticed.

DS 2, cast as anonymous shepherd, sat at the front of the stage and, whilst the angels announced the good news behind him, proceeded to beat up his toy lamb with some violence and then tossed it off the stage.

We have it on video