to be horrified that DD "wants to be famous"

[clam]

Oh God!

This kicked off last night, when she sat down with me to ask for us to support her in her dream of being famous.

She's 11.

I began by asking her "famous for doing what," before realising that she was deadly serious.

What should I have said (apart from what I wanted to say, which was that XFactor/Britain's Got Talent etc... are henceforth banned in the house?) DH is away, so I'm on my own with this one.

DD1 (3.6yo) is already saying she's going to be a pop star like hannah montana!!

Same here - DD is 11 "Will you vote for me when I'm on X factor?" Only if you can sing darling.

YANBU!
I don't know, maybe you could emphasize all the downsides of being famous-newspapers printing horrible stories about you, photographers lying in wait trying to take pictures of you looking scruffy etc etc No privacy, in short.

My five year old wants to be on 'Strictly Come Dancing'

Perhaps horrified is an overreaction.

Mine has just decided she wants to be an actress.

Haven´t yet told her that as she has to date shown no natural talent, it´s unlikely to happen.

She wants to join a dramatics group which I´ll let her as I think it will be good for her confidence & perhaps make her see that she could do it as a hobby but is unlikely to make a living from it.

Have also told her a back up plan is always a good idea, so keep up with the study & planned career!

This is a common one nowadays, but don't forget that years ago children dreamed of being astronauts - and there are more famous people around than there are astronauts

Why not have more of a chat with her, finding out what her reasoning is. If you talk about the hard work that people have to put into becoming - and staying - famous - she may be suprised. Also, ask how many people she knows from X-Factor have managed to stay in the public eye. It's not many after all. She'll get over it, don't worry .

oh yes, I think this is quite common in girls

like boys wanting to play for a premiership football team

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it - it does make me cringe a bit but probably because I wanted to be a spy when I was a kid and being famous seemed a bit naff!

tis the influence of reality tv and the like I expect - they all want their moment of fame. Little do they know of all the shite that comes with it!

I'm sure she'll get over it clam. Probably around the time she discovers boys

I think there could be some real advantages to this. If you can persuade her that being famous means working really hard at school, learning a foreign language for when she goes on tour, wroking hard at maths so that she's able to deal with her riches, practicing the piano every day, saving up her pocket money, etc etc, you could really be on a winner . You could say things like, "I want people to really respect you for your talent and what you bring to the world, darling, and not just be a joke like Jedward. So get on with your maths homework."

Depends if she just wants to be famous or if she actually wants to go into the arts. There are lots of career options in the arts for those who are interested in working in that field. It is a bit scary the number of young people who just want to be famous for being famous now. I was at an creative arts career day last week where one girl asked this question: You know how to be famous you have to know the right people, well how do you know who the right people are?'

Don't most of us go through a stage of wanting to be famous? I did.

my 13 yr old dd announced at dinner last week that she wasnt going to bother with a career, that she was waiting for me and dh to die so she could live of the life assurance.

I kindly pointed out that the life assurance only runs until she's 18, thats it!!!! she looked quite shocked and said 'what so if you die after im 18 then I get nothing'?

Dontcha just love teenage girls

Well, supper was served up over an hour later than planned, due to the long talk we had about some of what has been suggested by you wise ones.

I was keen not to crush her confidence but, bottom line is, she has no particular talents. Yes, she's pretty; yes, she sings nicely; yes, she goes to a theatre group and has done some major parts well, but that's as far as it goes. I told her it's far more important to us that she's happy, she continues to be a nice-natured, friendly, caring person, to do her best at school etc.... and that we love her far too much to let the likes of Simon Cowell or some bitchy showbiz reporter cruelly criticise her in public.

DH thinks it's hilarious (from the safety of being 7000 miles away on business), but he didn't have to sit there and mop up her tears.

I'd read of this being an issue nowadays with impressionable young girls, but had hoped we would escape it. Thing is, it's all very well for us adults to watch reality TV and take it with a large pinch of salt, but these kids don't. And I thought my two had seen DH and I take the mick out of the crying "it's my dream" nonsense on TV enough to know better. Clearly not.

Agree with Stefka - its great if she has a real ambition to DO something, like be an actress, singer, dancer etc and is prepared to put in the work to try to realise it. Not so great if she just wants to be famous for being famous.

My DD age 10 is absolutely set on being a singer and an actress - but she is also putting in the hard work to get there, and you never know, she might just make it - someone has to! . She had a major part in a local junior amateur show in the summer, put in countless hours at rehearsals and LOVED it.

She had a small part in a stage show locally with lots of well known actors and got lots of good advice on how to get into the business. One of the actresses told her she got into acting by joining the drama groups at Cambridge - so now DD id dead set on going to Cambridge as well which isn't a bad ambition!

Well, I also think my daughter only wants to do it to "get rich quick" as she is fed up with us not being able to afford what she wants!

Tried to explain you only hear about the rich & famous & there are some wo barely make enough to live & eke it out with waitressing/bar work etc, which left her a bit

DD once told a teacher that asked (age 11 or 12) that she wanted to be "A celebrity it girl"

She also is very cross that I didn't send her to Stage school as she would love to be a West End Star (even though she can't sing).

My DD 12 wants to be a music producer.
She does have some musical talent and has a lovely singing voice but she hides it. She has voice lessons at school,goes to guitar club and musical theatre club at school and has also decided to join "Rock skool" at school, but she won't perform in front of anyone,just hides in her room singing and playing the organ.

When anyone asked me what I wanted to be as a child I always answered 'rich and famous'.

This was long before sleb culture (I am 42).

If its any comfort I have worked all my adult life for charities and the public sector.

So dont worry just yet.

Oh, I know. I suppose. It just seems so shallow and meaningless. I s'pose I'd hoped to have instilled more of a sense of something-or-other in her by now.

At least the girls have some idea what they want.
DS is 14 and supposed to be chosing his options in March and has no idea what he wants to do although when he was very little he wanted to be a policeman who sold paintings at the weekend.

I'm now looking back wistfully to the time DD said her ambition was to be a waitress.

Honest way to make a living, but hardly an ambition?

I can't see my DD saying she wants to be famous but if she does I'll ask her which Nobel Prize she fancies

Not that most of them are exactly famous outside their area but then again I don't know who most of the so-called 'slebs' are.