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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Octomum is selfish?

11 replies

PercyPigPie · 13/11/2009 20:16

Didn't watch the recent programme but have just read the other thread on AIBU about her. Should she have had a termination once she found out she was expecting eight children and put up with the psychological consequences for the sake of her existing children?

OP posts:

Julezboo · 13/11/2009 21:20

Maybe you should watch the program!

groundhogs · 13/11/2009 21:37

Yes, you are. DEF being unreasonable.

I admit to being horrified at the whole thing at the outset, but she's the first to admit that it was not the brightest thing to do, but they are all here now, healthy and thriving. so best thing to do is to make sure she gets all, and I mean all the help she needs to raise them.

I wholeheartedly support her, she's doing the very best she can, and it appears to be going pretty well all in all.

See if you can watch the programme somewhere online, think you'll be swayed.

neolara · 13/11/2009 21:40

Having watched the program, I don't see how anyone who saw how she lived her life could call her selfish. Her entire life, now and for the forseeable future, is entirely dedicated to looking after her children. She didn't look like she would have a spare 5 mins to herself at any point in the next 18 years. It looked horrifyingly hard work and she seemed to take it on the chin like a trouper.

puddinmama · 13/11/2009 21:46

I just watched the programme on 4od, go to channel4.com

after watching it, i think she is doing all she can, thought it was funny though when she was feeding the babies and the other kids where rumaging the cupboard and running of with the unhealthy snacks, i could so see my kids doing that to me.

I just saw a mum, a really busy, exhausted, dedicated to her kids normal, imperfect mother.

there are days when i look like her running round and i only have 2.

when she pointed to the babies and said which one should i have murdered, noah, etc that really got me

puddinmama

Original poster

PercyPigPie · 13/11/2009 21:53

Not saying she should have had a termination, just asking the question really. Sounds like very hard work - but no doubt very rewarding too.

OP posts:

GhoulsAreLoud · 13/11/2009 21:59

I just feel sorry for her, I can't imagine what hard work it must be.

I think they IVF doctor who implanted that many embryos is more at fault.

Kaloki · 13/11/2009 22:15

I feel sorry for her (only saw half of it before 4od died on us), but my sympathy is more with her older kids who don't seem hugely happy to have so little time with their mum. And it worries me that she has an autistic child, who really does need more of his mum's attention.

Makes me wonder how things will be when the older kids reach their teens.

She seems to be doing an amazing job considering, but it's a shame she's having to spread herself so thing between them all.

Tobermory · 13/11/2009 22:24

I dont think you ABU. At all.
I dont see how it can be viewed as anythign but selfish.

She chose to have a very large family. She had 6 already before deciding she wanted more. She knew she was on her own, that she had limited family support, that one of your older children had additional needs, but went ahead regardless becuase she wanted lots of babies. She put her desire for more children ahead of the best interest of the children she already had - surely thats selfish?

Isnt it?

NonnoMum · 13/11/2009 22:36

I think it's part of a larger problem. First, the medical ethics in the US seem very different. (I don't think UK doctors are allowed to implant more than 2 embryos). Second, it seems (I think) that the US has a huge amount of TV programmes dedicated to extra large families (John and Kate plus 8 - 18 Kids and counting, Raising 10 Kids). Just wonder if the Reality TV influence might have somehow influenced a vulnerable young mother?? Good luck to her, we all know it isn't easy even with one or two...

Tobermory · 13/11/2009 22:43

I do agree with the 'good luck to her', watched much of last nights prog and she's got it bloody hard. But I do think her children do too and they have been put in the difficult position by her actions.

RockBird · 13/11/2009 22:46

Very large families are the norm in some places though. Just because they no longer are in suburbia doesn't make them wrong. I don't think anyone who saw that programme could call her selfish. As has been said, every waking moment of her life for the next 18 years is now accounted for. Makes me tired thinking about it. All you know is what the papers and a documentary want you to know. So who are we to judge?

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