Holiday changes when BFP

[GinaFB]

Its a long story but we have had a cottage booked in the lakes with my partner and his family for June 2010 for a while now and I have found out I am PG (8+3) and will be giving birth in June 2010.

It was agreed that this is no longer possible and we looked into the cancellation policy of the firm. We can either cancel and hope the cottage is taken or we will have to pay the whole amount, or we change the holiday to earlier or later in the year.

To cut a long story etc etc ...

AIBU to want to cancel the holiday completely and rebook it next year after the baby is born. At the moment I don't want to plan this far ahead as we have no idea what position we will be in in 12 months time.

My BF is putting pressure on me to simply change the trip to October 2010 but I am concerned that as this is my first baby that I may not be in a position to cope at this stage.

This is our first child and I have never been around children, the thought of 5 hours in a car with a 3-4 month old is terrifying!!

move it to before you're due. last holiday of freedom type thing

We took our DD (also first child) away for a week like this when she was 12 weeks old and it was great, After having had a c section and being stuck in with no car for a while I was desperate to be out and about anyway. And DD was great. They are really much easier to take out and about at that age IME.

However, if you are really unsure why not move it to April time? Then you could have a nice break away together before baby is born? You may well be on mat leave by then too.

yabu

move it to april or to september

honestly little tiny babies are very portable and sleep a lot.

you won't need to put your entire life on hold

fwiw went to sweden with dd at 3 and a bit months (plus 2/5 yr old DS) and it was easy. and to a 5 day festival (camping in pissing rain no less) at 4.5 months. i didn't think that was wildly adventurous.

Wow you guys are quick!!!

My BF's Sister (who was coming with) is due in April!!!

Is February too cold in the Lake District do you think?

yanbu, but 4 months is a lovely time for a holiday, your baby will still not be on the move, you still have an excuse (if you want one) for resting and relaxing, you will have family around to help out.

yanbu if you really dont want to go and you shouldnt feel pressured but think about it a bit longer.

If its just about the journey there try not to worry, we went to the lakes this year when ds (our first) was 3 months and had a lovely time. On the journey just stop regularly, for feeds, changes etc.

or is it something else ie worrying about what dps family will think about your parenting skills?

dp asked me to tell my mum that after all we didnt want her to come and stay a month after ds was born. bascially i think now that dp was worrying about ds waking and crying all night and he just couldnt cope with someone else their passing judgment (in his opinion, it wouldnt have been so)on his parenting skills. (neither of us had been round kids either) Looking back now I dont think anyone would have made any comment on how we were coping and as more time passes the more confident you get with your baby. This is from someone who was paranoid about everything from cot death to disturbing the neighbours with crying babies.

Its a beautiful area and while your style of holiday may have changed - we didnt do any nights in restaurants or pubs or climb any mountains like we used to but we still had a lovely relaxing time, lots of lovely walks with the pram.

hope you make what decision is right for you x

here's my experience. we went to wales on holiday when DS was 4 months old - I was breastfeeding at the time. Yes the thought does sound stressful but it's actually quite easy. We also went abroad a month or so later with DS on a plane - now THAT is stressful!

YABU - it's not as bad as you're making out it will be. Babies sleep a lot and they are portable, as someone else has kindly pointed out. You would cope great, esp with relatives helping you out at the cottage. I didn't have that luxury!

Some of the problem is that DPs parents have a tendancy to try and "take over" if they feel that you are not doing something right. (my SIL didn't manage to change a single nappy when her DD was born if her mum was around!) I can see the holiday not being a fun relaxing time for me becuase I am on edge all of the time!

On the other hand it could be my hormones that are all over the place at the moment......

Also it does seem to be a fear of the unknown at the moment! Thanks for all your comments, I am feeling more confident already!

G x

I took DS 1 aged 3 months to Scotland and then to Gibraltar aged 5 months and then to Singapore/Japan aged 7 months. It was all absolutely fine (by the way - reason for all that was that DH is Navy and we wanted to see him as he was away for pretty much the entire first year of DS1's life. Those were all flights.

Driving we took him to south of France twice (once on my own, once with DH) aged 4 months and 8 months, and also on innumerable trips round UK to visit friends.

I know it is a leap into the dark, but life does go on after children. My travelling was pretty extreme, but was not difficult, and to this day, DS1 is a brilliant traveller.

I would rebook for Aug / Sept.

Read your latest post...that might change things. But you are your own person, set down limits and if you want to change baby's bottom - crack on!

Rebook for May, before you have the baby... weather will be good, and you'll appreciate a break before it all kicks off!

I wouldn't necessarily sign up for a 5 hour car journey in your last trimester - I found long car journeys very difficult.

But by 3-4 months, not only will you be in the swing of things - you'll be grateful for PILs stepping in and doing sll the nappy changes!

So there'd be two little ones, not just yours?

I'd go for it - the baby will travel just fine, as long as you plan to stop regularly, and with three sets of adults in the house (I'm assuming? You, parents and SIL plus partners) you should be able to trade off so you all get some time free to do stuff sans baby, even if it's just a walk for half an hour or so.

That said, do what you're comfortable with. Also, try ringing the company and asking the question direct, rather than just looking at the contract. You might find that because of the amount of notice and the circs, they'll let you cancel with no penalty anyway.