Call of Duty

[midgeysmum]

My 13 year old is pleading with me to let him have the new C O D x-box live game so he can play with his classmates who all have it, only came out on Wed. It is an 18, he was only 13 in July. I haven't allowed him to buy any previous COD games which were rated 16, but he has borrowed one and played it at home. What do I do?

I have bought my son this (well he gave me his birthday money and I pre ordered it for him) I also have been talking to a chap at work who bought it for his also 13 yr old (so when 2 same age kids reap a rampage on the same area you know where to look) however my son tells me what he is doing and will pop in the living room every 15 mins or so to tell me whats gone on and also what he thought about it. I am of the firm belief that it is how you bought your child up to how they will react to these kind of games (mine would not dream of watching Saw for example as it is too gory)

"The graphics are unbelievable".

Not sure whether that was meant as "the graphics do not look real"
or " Wow the graphics look so real"

Thing is, to everyone who is a grown up and said they weren't harmed by gaming - (and perhaps I am showing my age here) but what exactly about frogger and pac man is damaging?
When our brains were forming we generally didn't have games that were so realistic.
How can you compare?

It may not hurt them, but it seems bonkers to worry about their homework, being bullied, if they are making friends,the food we put into them - then not worry about what is being put into their heads.

It is DH's birthday today and we bought him this. Graphics on the PS3 are so much better than the last one he had on the PC.

I sat and watched the training camp bit - only shooting targets.

Of course, DS (Yr 10 age 14) was desparate to show he could do it better, so he has been playing.

DS got to the airport scene and asked if he was allowed. As DH was there they did it together. I didn't like it but it is not going to corrupt him. If we didn't let him play it he would play it at a friends house as most of them got it immediately.

Like the others say,you have to know your own children.

I won't be buying it for my girls - they're too busy playing Katamari and Pixie Hollow.

But it's top of the list of my game rental queue

MamaG -don't be so childish! Aren't people allowed to have a different opinion to you ?

Good post, Carmen.
I would add the phrase 'in an ideal world' to some of your statements, though.

Back in the real world, should parents really be expected to personally check every single product their children take an interest in?

I will certainly try but it might be a struggle at times (e.g. when I am too busy trying to earn the cash that my kids want to spend on these products) and I might have to rely on ratings on those occasions.

My DH who has it, say's parents are IDIOTS if they buy this for an under 18. It's only one for the grown ups.

My Ds2, who is almost 17 (and who hasn't played this game) wishes me to remind everyone that ratings are not always a reliable way of judging the content of videogames. He says that parents should use their own judgement based on knowledge of their children rather than relying on arbitrarily assigned ratings.

I am told that Perfect Dark was given a totally unnecessary and inappropriate 18 rating in it's day while GoldenEye was rated as T (teen 13+). These games are almost identical in levels of violence and in gameplay showing that the rating criteria are very inconsistently applied. This is something that is a bit of a bugbear amongst younger gamers (my DS1 is 19 and also holds this view, as do all their friends.) The theory amongst young gamers like my boys is that these ratings are given because the people setting them do not understand what they are actually rating, much like rock music or D&D in previous generations. The ratings also play into the hands of hysterical politicians or parents who feel the need of something to blame for teen behaviour. (This is the view of my sons, I hasten to add.)

While my DS2 is allowed to leave school, marry and join the army, he is not allowed to play a videogame which he is quite capable of of distinguishing from reality. The paradoxical nature of that is quite clear.

I have never bought a COD game and wouldn't allow my 12 year old to play a game like this, unless my older boys had vetted it first (which I also do with games like Oblivion, judged OK, and Might and Magic, not OK) but I can't see any argument for not allowing DS2 to play it if he wanted, he is quite capable of being his own censor.

It's not a game we'd buy (we prefer our violence slightly more fantastical tbh) but I wouldn't be happy with DS playing it, and I'd be pretty pissed off if he played it at a friends house. We generally stick to BBFC ratings (the 15 and 18 ones) and make our own minds up about the 'recommended' age guidelines, so there's a few 16+ games DS1 is allowed to play, but I can't think of one 'rated' game we'd let him have.

I have to say though, that I can't think of any argument more likely to make me stick to my guns than 'all my friends have it'. That's not a reason in my book.

I'd agree with your sons, stressedHEmum, the ratings systems for games is very poor and flawed.

DaddyJ, you're right, it's not possible to pre-watch/read everything. I tend to skim what my children are reading and keep a vague eye on what they're watching/playing but I feel that what is more important is to keep an open line of communication and for them to have an awareness of what they are comfortable with. If they see something that makes them unhappy, we can talk about it and take steps so that they don't have to experience anything similar again until they feel able to cope with it.

Of course, it's not a perfect solution - once they've seen a frothing flesh-devouring zombie, it can't be unseen, but that's why it's good for them to be aware of their own comfort zone.

This really is far more important to me than saying point blank, "No, you cannot watch/read/play that" which just shuts down communication imo.

Also, I agree with previous posters about what is upsetting being so individual. I remember as a child, my stepfather watched violent Schwarzenegger movies all the time which didn't bother me one iota. Meanwhile, I was most upset and traumatised by an episode of CHIPS with a sabotaged car brake! (And don't even get me started on Casualty...)

"Playing a terrorist is a rather clever twist?"

yes, with regards to war games on consoles it is. it could be argued that it is a means of questioning why people might be happy for their children to play an american soldier shooting poorly armed farmers to shit but not a terrorist and why one is somehow higher on their moral spectrum, or it might just be lowest commmon denominator vile blood porn.
it's given it's rating for a reason, but as an adult playing the game i thought it was a clever take on the idea, and credit the game makers with a bit of creativity in the same way that i credit the makers of the gta series with a very good observational satire when others will think that gta games are just for the morally debased.