to take my dd straight home from school instead of letting her go on a pre-arranged playdate?

[onthepier]

My dd was supposed to be going to her friend's house after school for tea yesterday, arranged a few days ago.

They came out of school quite happy and my friend was just about to take them to her car, when my dd suddenly said she had tummyache. She looked fine though. I said "Maybe you'd better not go to X's house then," and she instantly started jumping around saying she felt better. I said maybe she could go for a little while and she changed her mind saying she had tummy ache again, then said it was better!

The other mum wasn't giving me any indication of what she'd rather do so I suggested my dd went with her another day, (bearing in mind several children in her year have been off with sickness bugs). She agreed, although her dd was crying by then. I apologised to her and said we'd see how things were in a few days. Got the feeling my friend didn't really want my dd there if she wasn't 100 per cent, but she didn't say anything so one of us had to make a decision!

My dd is never one to say she isn't well when she is and she goes to this friend a lot, quite happily. She didn't complain again of stomach ache but spent most of the evening lying on the sofa, quite unlike her!

Anyway, she went to school as normal this morning and I saw my friend, apologised again that her dd was upset yesterday and said hopefully we could arrange another day. My friend said she thought I'd left rather hurriedly with my dd, (actually I thought I'd been dithering too long), and she had a very upset dd on her hands for the whole evening. I felt awful but explained again that I wouldn't have wanted my dd to pass anything on to hers, and have now invited her dd to my house this weekend.

Just interested in what others would have done in this situation, it's only recently my dd has been going to lots of playdates.

This is tricky. I think you did absolutely the right thing. I think the other mother is being a little bit unreasonable tbh.

The alternative could have been that you let your dd go, and within a short time she could have been vomiting (or other end!) and I doubt the other mother would have thanked you for that.

Is the other mother a little bit sensitive/touchy usually?

I probably would have encouraged my DC to go, but DD is prone to saying she feels 'sick' when she just feels a bit anxious.

I think the other mom just told you the reality of what happened, I don't think she was out of order to be honest about it, given you approached her and brought the subject up.

Thanks for your posts, I do find situations like these tricky. "Onepieceofflollipop", my friend isn't touchy exactly, but is very concerned about her children's friendships. For example, if one of her dc's fall out with a friend she'll worry about it on their behalf all weekend! As her dd was upset about plans suddenly changing, understandably she was upset as well. It's sod's law though, that if I'd sent my dd I'd have prob had a phone call saying she'd been sick in their car or something, of course I didn't send her and she was absolutely fine, just a bit tired. I find you can't really win in these situations!

yup you did the right thing. The other mum would not have been pleased if her dd ended up with a stomach bug. You couldnt really win either way.