to think big black line in DD1s book isnt fair or nice??

[lisad123wantsherquoteinDM]

DD1 is 6 years old and in year 2. She is meant to do reading every night and math and spelling and music. We have to sign if we have done reading with her, in her home/school book.
I got called in today as DD1 had got very upset as new rules from head is "If parents dont read with children teachers MUST put a big black cross though the section normally signed" I mean WTF!!
We read most nights but last night we sent her to bed early as she was clearly shattered and getting over a bug.
Should also say dd1 has ASD and hates getting things wrong/being told off/change ect. But to be honest i think its terrible for any child, and hardly builds self esteem, its not their fault if parents dont read with them
AIBU?

Blimey, perhaps my boys are insensitive. I think they would have taken it entirely at face value: the cross means you haven't done the reading (or your parents haven't made their comment). They wouldn't be remotely upest about it unless the teacher had made an inappropriate comment about that.

Deadworm a 6 year old child knows that a big black cross is not supposed to be a good thing. They don't need to be primed.

I personally thought education in this country had moved forward from negative "downers" to postitivity and encouragement. A frigging huge black cross is hardly motivating is it - especially when it might not even be your fault!

I cant stand these homework diaries for primary age children , the teacher can tell if a parent reads regularly with a child or not without having to consult the bloody thing ,those whos parents listen to them read regularly are generally those who read well

well if you are pissed off about explaining your reasons just put 'unread' and sign it, then when she does read put an extra long comment

What exactly are the teachers planning to do about it if you don't put a big black line in the book? Call you in every day? In which case, refuse to go. She's your child, not theirs (something this ever growing socialist nanny state seems to forget). Tell them to take a hike.

No of course it isn't a good thing. But teachers are allowed to criticise!

Most children IMO would feel upset or bothered by a big cross in their book. Most children know that a cross is negative.

I don't like that idea at all. It is so negative and really goes against positive reinforcements and all that.

Why not just give those that do manage the full week of reading a stamp or sticker instead,

Obviously if a child is rarely reading it needs following up, but that s different to just missing the odd day,

how would YOU feel if you were criticised for something that wasn't actually your fault? I see I'm not the only poster on this thread that listens to their children read but frequently don't write in their reading record book.

If they were doing such a negative approach at DD's school I wuld just end up signing DD's reading record regardless every night. They can't prove it either way can they?

Exactly hula. Why not praise the children that have read? Much more effective.

' the teacher can tell if a parent reads regularly with a child or not without having to consult the bloody thing ,those whos parents listen to them read regularly are generally those who read well'

Sorry Bumpsoon but I have to disagree

I am with you that the diaries are a waste of time, but it isn't true that those who read a lot are bette readers because of it - maybe the other way round ie they can manage to read and enjoy it so do it more - in some cases - but there are children who have a lot of parental input and still struggle, eg thos with processing problems or dyslexia.

It's not fair and would not be fair to judge the amount of parental help based on their reading ability

although I can see that knowing whether a child has had consistent help from parents would be useful if they were still struggling as it may indicate a problem.

I've told the teachers I think ds is dyslexic for 2 years now, and they are well aware of his reading problems. So not sure if it would make a lot of odds in our situation.

The book is for parents too. It is a source of daily communication to and from parents. The cross is for the parents to take notice of.

I honestly can't see many children regarding the cross as crushing remotely, unless someone had badly explained its purpose or the purpose of the book.

Of course we need a culture of positive reinforcement. But that is utterly meaningless if you are never allowed to criticise -- and chioldren understand its meaninglessness eventually and feel cheated and confused.

I don't want a daily communication about how crap ds is at reading thankyou. Once a term would do.

"It is a source of daily communication to and from parents. "

no - it's written in once a week BY the school (at least in our schools anyhow) and we're expected to write in it every day .

And if it's for the parents - send a bloody letter home to the parents asking why the've not written in it - don't put a bloody great big cross in the CHILD's book.

Flight - totally agree.

Have to disagree, Deadworm. I was extremely anxious about this sort of thing as a child and I would have been mortified by a black cross. Why is the cross needed to communicate with parents? The parents will know whether or not they have heard dc reading.

I'm starting to suspect that this sort of malarkey is the real reason people use private schools - you hand over your cash and (presumably) get left in peace!

I'm honestly amazed by the consensus on this thread. So hard for teachers to exhort the parents to do the reading if they aren't allowed to communicate their frustration in the reading record book. Just explain to your children what the book is for -- commmnicating with parents. And explain to your children that you learn partly by being corrected. They don't get to be that fragile in tha face of criticism without help.

Jybay, this sort of malarky is exactly why I intend to privately educate DS.

If the OP's child is at a private school please could she confirm name so I can avoid. TIA.

Deadwood - I ould imagine an awful lost, certainly the majority, of the children in the Y1 class would find a big black cross a bit unpsetting in their diaries. The cross is there because they didn;t read. They will understand that, and may well be upset because they didn't actually have any choice Most children, IME, are keen to please.

Way better to praise regular readings than penalise non readers. And IMO far better standards froma school too.

I actually find reading diaries useful, from both sides.

DD has a reading diary that is handed in every day. The teacher writes in it when ever she hears DD read. In Y2 this was daily. We wrote when we heard DD read too, with comments.

As a TA I check my Y1 reading diaries. The system is different to DD's school. Front of diary is for parents to complete. They fill in all reading sessions with comments. The back is for school - they also fill in when heard read wth comments and pointers for parents and child to focus on. This is 1-2 times a week.

My pupils had in their reading diary to me whenever they complete a page of reading - 5 reads/days. They then get a stamp in their book and comment, plus a stamp on their bookmark (held at school). Bookmark has space for 12 stamps. When complete the child gets a Reading Challenge certificate in Celebration assembly. The children on the whole love this.

lol @ idea that private schools just take your money and leave you alone! Even private schools want full parental involvement. My DD is at private school - daily reading is expected in all years from reception, from day 1. DD's school focuses on positive reinforcement though, not penalising those who don't manage to read every time.

Deadworm - if a child is not reading at home I simply write a note to the parents in the diary - addressed to parent and politely requesting regular reading to help support their child's class reading. No crosses or negative marks so obvious to the child.

"And explain to your children that you learn partly by being corrected."

eh?? Who's at school here the parent or the child. How is a negative mark in the child's book showing them that they have to learn by being corrected? DS1 knows that I always forget to write in his book, he knows I should - them putting big black crosses in his book would make me no more likely to remember.

My DS's frequently have their work corrected - they receive criticism of their work too (often written on the work) - it generally doesn't involve big black crosses and negative comments - oh and it's usually directed TO them (not the parent).

"explain to your children that you learn partly by being corrected"

But that's exactly the point. It is not the teacher's job to be correcting parents or to dictate what happens at home. Some 6 year olds will be too knackered to get much out of reading after school and be better off doing more reading at the weekends instead - that is for the parent to decide.

As someone has already said, we should be teaching children that reading and learning are fun. Being "corrected" by black crosses does not say fun to me!

If I thought for a moment that this sort of system would help kids whose parents don't read with them, I would be a lot more sympathetic. It won't of course; it will just create stress for conscientious parents and their children.

"The cross is there because they didn;t read."

sadly yes it will be for some children - those that don't get listened to at home at all, but for others it will be there because they've got a parent who lives on their own little planet most of the time and is bloody useless at remembering to fill these things in