to feel upset at DH for leaving me while ill?

[Threelittleducks]

I am really really not very well and tried to phone the doc this morning to get an appointment (none til next week ) I feel awful, I look awful, my head is all wobbly, I want to die.

My Dh says to me this morning "How are you feeling?"
I tell him.
I phone doc, no joy.
I beg DH not to go - I have a 1 year old son and dog to manage while he is gone.
All i want to do is sleep! I'm very rarely ill!
He just leaves, goes to work without even saying goodbye!
I text him in despair - how could he leave me when I feel like this!?
His reply is that I'll be fine, nothing he can do, he has to work.
Fair enough I suppose, but it made me quite upset.

When he is ill - and he has been recently, he phoned in sick from work, lounged on the couch feeling sorry for himself while I ran around looking after everyone. I even made loads of nourishing home-made food, which he had no problem in eating ("oh but I feel so ill" lol).

Inever get to "phone in sick". After today I feel like I practically will have to be dying before he helps me out. I told him, I properly told him, that I didn't feel as if I could cope, and he hasn't done anything to help! Is it just me, or is it his responsibility too? After all, if I had to go to work and he was ill, I would be the one trying to find alternative childcare so that he didn't have to look after DS while he is ill!

I'm married to one of those LeQueen.

No, it's not easy, but men like that have their good points, like working like stink.

I think if I were really really badly ill, DH would stay at home, but me being the SAHP and him being the one who earns more money, that is the way it goes.

When DD was 3 months and DS was just over 2, I got mastitis and it was horrible. DH sorted DS out in the morning and then I managed to call the doctor and get an emergency appt. Somehow got to the doctors and had to wait for about an hour with small baby DD, DS and me feeling like I would keel over any second. Was not good.

On the other hand, DH gets awful migraines and when he does I do have to drop everything and take him to the doctor etc but he really can't do anything then.

Thanks to all.

Yeah I prob was being unreasonable, however I was hunched over the loo for 2 days spewing my guts up while baby managed to cause utter chaos all around me, throw the mother of all tantrums and nearly got bitten by the dog, so I now feel a little justified in hoping that hubby stayed at home.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

After seeing the state of me upon his return he looked after me very well yesterday (and baby and dog)

Now I get to head off to work this noon to spread the germy love. Facemask anyone?

I am like your husband ..... I cannot take time off. It goes on my employment record and will be used in evidence when review time comes round again. It impacts on the amount I get paid and my chances of promotion. I may seem to be uncaring when my dh (stay at home) is ill, but to not go to work will have a long term negetive impact on my family's well being.

Hope you are feeling better btw.

Sorry, but I don't think the issue is about going to work or not. If you stated calmly and clearly that you felt unable to cope with your DC that day and he still went off to work without even discussing it, that is worrying.

You are both adults with needs and responsibilities. The adult thing is to sort out priorities as adults. That way you both come up with a solution that is the best you can do in the circumstances. That way, you may still not get what you really want but you don't feel resentful at the lack of support.

my hubby's just as bad I had flu and could hardly move off settee he pipes up are we having an early dinner tonight so I can make a start hes self employed taxi owner/driver and mostly works from tea-time on wards.But does nowt in the house because "I'll do it wrong" won't even make a sandwich if I'm in.