to feel that driving tests really are designed to destroy every shred of confidence you have..repeatedly!

[AdelaideJo]

HEEEELP!

Is it unreasonable to be unreasonably enraged at how SICK and FEARFUL I am every time I have a driving test? For days beforehand?

I have my 3rd test (with several years apart - must point that out ) this coming Friday and already I've been in floods of tears twice today..just at the THOUGHT of the examiner saying "I'm sorry but you have not reached the standard required blah blah blah ".

I've tried Bachs' flower remedies, I can't take Kalms (pregnant) and I just DON'T WANT TO DO IT!

Isn't it true that its just a bloody lottery on the day anyway?

I took my test for 2nd time a week ago and I must say there is a marked difference between the old style stuffy examiner and i had first time and the guy had last week who was absolutely brilliant- really put me at ease. This made me drive the way I knew i could so i passed.
what i am saying is- you probably will get an exmainer who will understand you are nervous. I just kept thinking 'I'm just giving this guy a lift home'. lots of deep breaths, do yr manoeuvres as slowly as you can get away with- gives you less time driving out on the road!
Hope you get a lovely examiner, but take it easy, I was in tears the day before, and remember that nerves on the day give you better concentration. Visualise him/her saying 'I'm happy to tell you that you have passed'
and look in those mirrors! All the time!!!
good luck

YANBU.

I've failed twice and it was two of the worst experiences in my life. I am trying again with a year long gap due to total destruction of confidence but will have to wait until after the baby now (ELCS next week). Its utterly terrifying and I needed another year of lessons and another instructor altogther before I even began to think passing was a remote possibility.

Best of luck- hope it works out for you! x

obviously yanbu- forgot to say that!
I was in a huge bloody sulk after failing the first time.

YANBU

I have failed 3 times, and can't bear the thought of getting behind the wheel to drive again.

The frustrating part is that I can drive absolutely fine, but as soon as they ask me to read the number plate in the distance at the beginning of the test, my head becomes foggy, my palms sweat and I feel like I am going to faint, vomit and wet myself all at the same time.

I really hope you pass, just think of the sheer joy of never having another driving lesson again.

I have a lovely instructor but the lesson I've just had has left me feeling bruised. I can't reverse park, I keep messing up reversing round a corner, every time I do any sort of manouvere I forget which way to turn the wheel, I don't know when the wheels are straight and I even forgot to put the car in neutral when I stopped tonight at the end of the lesson! I am HOPELESS I can drive quite nicely I think - just don't ask me to do anything!

Gaaaah! I know i'm not alone...but its SUCH a massive trial. Its not as if they are interviewing you for a job or assessing your personality, but once that person comes out in a fleuro jacket with clipboard BRANDISHED (and why actually note things down i.e. minor errors AS you do them, talk about make you mess up the next second's driving!), I want to chuck up .

Puh, well its the last lesson tomorrow and my instructor helpfully can only give me an hour, so i have an hour to actually reverse a corner properly and do a bay park FOR THE FIRST TIME (!) because my instructor swears blind I won't get one on Friday.

YANBU!!!

I failed 3 times and finally passed on my 4th attempt in June. I had the same examiner for the 1st 2 tests and he was vile, for the 3rd test the examiner I had was lovely but I was so nervous I was almost shaking. For my 4th test I did the test in my own car and I had so many things go wrong the day before my test (my car broke down, it was a Sunday and we had to try and find someone to fix it. Then one of the kids had to go to A&E so spent all afternoon there.) that I just thought F**K it, I've had enough, if I don't pass tough!!!!
I really think I took a lot of pressure off myself and that is why I passed.

I hate to tell you this but at the test centre where I had my test almost everyone gets a bay park on their test because they do it on the test centre car park. Out of 4 tests I had a bay park on 3 of them, never had to do a parallel park though

I feel the same! ill be taking my 3rd test in a couple of weeks and the previous 2 have knocked the confidence out of me and now im actually scared to drive!!

I have no advice to offer you but good luck

YANBU. I finally passed my test at the age of 38, 4th time, having started to learn when I was 20 (with lots of long gaps). What eventually worked for me was a very experienced instructor, having lessons as 8am on Sat morning for a few months so that the roads were empty to repeated do some of the nasty roundabouts/junctions on the test route, having dh take me out in the car and shout at me offer words of encouragement. Oh, and luck. My theory is that there are a few fabbo drivers who would always definitely pass, quite a few more inexperienced drivers who will very likely fail and loads of people who might pass or fail depending on the examiner, their frame of mind, what happens on the road, the alighment of the stars etc. Then it becomes a numbers game of just keeping going and eventually you'll get there.
Good luck, by the way. Apparently, it's also very commmon to have a few rubbish lessons just before your test too.

I'm starting driving lessons for the first time after christmas (I'm 34) and this is the reason I have put them off for so long, I know when it comes to the test I will be a complete nervous wreck .
I'm forcing myself to do them though, I'm sick of public transport!

Probably not much use to the OP, but for anyone else... I had a friend who failed her test 5 times. Her driving instructor couldn't understand it - she was a very competent driver. Essentially, he had nothing else to teach her and her failures were down to nerves and nothing else. She went to the GP and he prescribed beta blockers to resolve the nerve issue and she passed her test the next attempt with the benefit of the beta blockers. Worth a shot if you are finding the test so awful that you just can't seem to show your skills at their best.

I eventually passed 3rd time (first time I thoroughly deserved to fail, then had a 4 year gap before taking more lessons with a much nicer instructor who gave me confidence, then did a test where I made silly mistakes, then passed).

I passed on my 6th test. On reflection I was nowhere near ready the first 3 times my instructor put me in for it and after that my confidence was destroyed.

At our centre at the end of the test you always have to do a reverse bay park. My 4th test went like a dream but I was so nervous at the end that my leg was shaking and I couldn't control the clutch, I stalled about 6 times trying to park, burst into tears and left the car half in and half out the space

By the 6th time I KNEW I was ready and passed. If I had passed the first few times I would have been in trouble driving out on the road.

It is a horrible experience. They are like bloody robots.

I passed fifth time, twelve years ago, and I wholeheartedly agree with you. The examiner that passed me was relaxed, friendly, and although not chatty, he put me at ease.

There is absolutely no need whatsoever for the tension that some of the examiners create in the car.

Good luck. I actually stopped for a year and then went back to it, and passed 'first time'

Once you pass, all this will pale into insignificance, honestly.

I passed on my 6th or 7th test (did so many I lost count). It took hypnosis downloads this guy here, best £15 I ever spent and a lot of general driving around, plus an instructor I really rated, to get me through in the end.

If your instructor is saying to you 'your driving is not the problem, your nerves are the problem' then you do need to work on your nerves and really take control of them. There are books about it as well that might help.

Also, sounds silly, but my instructor was ex-army and I found that kind of inspiring - I assume that soldiers have to keep their nerve in all kinds of situations that are much worse than driving tests

One other thing that got me through it was that I had done something scary for work which I managed fine, so I drew on that experience to say to myself 'you conquered it for that, you can do the same for the driving test' - do you have any experiences where you've found something scary but done it nonetheless?

YANBU

it took me nearly 7 years, countless tests and it they are bloody scary, the nerves were a killer, it is a lottery too, some testers are fucking arseholes, excuse my language but they are! I got a nice one who passed me, and the mates GF a week later

Its horrible but dont give up

GOOD LUCK

try this or this

I feel the same.

I'm due to sit my 3rd test very, very soon & already I can feel the fear & dread rising in me. I get so hot during my test that I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust! The frustrating thing is I am capable of passing & the 2 times I've failed it's been on stupid, silly mistakes! It's the nerves that do it & I honestly don't know how to get round them!

Good luck OP for your next test!

My first examiner was more nervous than I was
I failed

The next time was about a month later, and I had hardly driven. I really really didn't think I would pass, and thought "oh well, its just a way to spend an hour on a Saturday!" The examiner was sooo chilled out - he was really tall and had to have the seat so far back and so reclined that he was almost horizontal. Cracked me up. Anyways -to my astonishment, I passed.
My driving instructor was also shocked - As he was coming towards the car when we were finished, I could see him mentally composing himself and looking sympathetic. He literally nearly fell over when I said I passed!

But anyhoo - I remember that I tried very hard just to worry about one thing at a time - just concentrated on each gear change etc as I was doing it.

Also exaggerate looking in the mirrors.

Good luck!!!

BTW, if you start to get all shaky/ leg quivery etc - just take some good deep breaths, and do some simple math in your head.

& purpleducks horizontal examiner!

The examiner on my 2nd test was so sweet at the end, I literally broke down into really big sobs (came on that day too which I don't think helped!) & he was really lovely to me....mind you what else could he do with a hormonally unbalanced snivelling wreck sat next to him

I failed my 1st and sobbed like a bloody baby for ages afterwards. For the entire 40 minutes of the test I felt like a hostage, it was as if the examiner was holding a gun to my head. Next test was only 10 days later and felt so much better, think it was just sheer determination that I wanted to pass and WOULD sit the test as many times as I needed to learn to cope with the fear. Thankfully I passed second time.

YANBU!

(and good luck btw)

I do think that your instructor adds to how you feel on the test day, dp had lessons for 4mnths 2/4hrs a week with an independant instructor and passed first time on both tests, he is imo a good driver.
My friend however used the big chain school and failed 6 times and 3 on the theory!
This pattern follows true with pretty much everyone i know.

Thank you for replying, you are all bloody brilliant for sharing your stories (this is probably far too touchy-feely for this thread ha ha!). I've taken loads of tips as well so again, THANK YOU!

Test is tomorrow at 2.30 at an Essex test centre.

Don't feel nervous at all anymore (more excited now !?) but as a hormonal pregnant woman god help them if the examiner is a total a**hole to me .

Ooo Adelaide wonder where abouts in Essex you are? My test centre is in Essex too....sit my 3rd attempt next week (funnily enough waiting my instructor to arrive now for my lesson) Fingers crossed for you for tomorrow - pop back & let us know how you got on!

Good luck Adelaide, I know this sounds so cliched but do stay positive and try to think of it as the day you are going to pass your driving test. Try to imagine the examiner telling you you've passed. I passed my test last month (also in Essex) and it really is the best feeling ever.