to think that there is a sort of pastel coloured bubble that you inhabit whilst you have babies and toddlers and that, contrary to the way it feels on MN, it isn't the normal way of things?

[OrmIrian]

I am still a 'mum' even though my children are big and scary and beginning to develope odd bits and hair in strange places and 'attitude'. And there's a lot more mothering that happens after the age of 3 than there is before.

There is life after nappies and nursery! Thanks god. But you wouldn't think so sometimes.

So go on! Tell me I'm unreasonable .

I agree FB, i have a 3 yr and a 20 yr and it is only more recently that i have had interesting things to say about my 3yr, before it would always be stuff my teenager had done, like 'sneaking girls into his bedroom after hours' and 'catching him smoking'

That is much more interesting than 'my toddler just did an illuminous green poo'

bran - I don't want to do anything about it. It's just odd. And this isn't a whinge about MN really - more about life in general.

I don't want anyone to see my 12yr old as cute! God forbid

I know what you mean but more in relation to RL. I keep being told my kids are "not really kids anymore" My oldest is 13 and i think she is a kid. She is as big as me but still a kid. They are still hard work if not more so, but no one seems to realise that they are.

The way I see it - being in a "bubble" at each stage is probably not a bad idea!

When you have a newborn and breastfeeding or not is more important than world debt it is probably good that you don't realise that your child being potty trained before your best friends is actually far more important, or that by the time they reach school your child being top of the reading charts or the G&T register has nothing to do with if they were brestfed - and then there is the whole playdate issues and birthday party invites - or not, to progress on to getting into the best secondary school - or should you go private to keep up with the Jones's - then the issue of do you hate your child having a boy/girlfriend, or do you hate the fact that everyone else does and yours doesn't so therefore seems unpopular!!!

Each stage has its own issues that seem huge at the time and once you have moved on are just laughable! I can't believe the tears I shed over breastfeeding my now strapping 13 yr old rugby playing son - and I guess in a few years the worries over what him and his girlfriend are or aren't getting up to will all seem quite amusing too!!

Each stage is different - so far I'm not convinced any is easier than the other but I do try to empathise with people at each stage - no matter how much of a loon they seem to me at the time!!

People seek out others when they have new experiences ie when they first become parents. Like freshies at uni.

Once you are an old hand at it, your support systems in RL are already well in place. Hence less need for parents of older children to discuss their issues with a virtual community.

Plus, having more free time because their dcs are independent means they have more of a life!