our ds walked to school in the morns however

[midsummereve]

she called to tell me that we should stop as her ds was getting to hyper and then playing up at school, since then she whispers to say hello when we walk past each other so they dont hear or see each other , I have had to send her ds back to her in the morns or they both change and become a nightmare, I feel bad and its has really hurt me i told her as I felt she was blaming my son although she denied this,things have become strained aibu.

maybe they could walk home together?
so you all get a bit of friendly time without having hyper kids in the morning?

Yanbu to feel upset but I think colditz might have a point and that your friends son wouild be "hyper" whichever child he was walking with not especially your son. You are taking it personally because it did happen that it is your son he walkes with but I do not think your friends intended it this way (hurtful). I think she is only tryinfg to get her son in a resonably calm way to school.

Maybe she whispers hello because she realises she has hurt yo but does not quite know how to "repair" things between you? Could you have a chat with her without your respective DSs present and seehoe it goes from there?

Dont worry about taking the piss no offence taken I just did not know how to write down how I was feeling.
My son is not hyper he just likes to run ahead but he is a well behaved child most of the time.
Tbh I have left the coffee part and I will say hello to her but apart from that I will just get on with the school run I have other friends so its not the end of the world I just was a little hurt, as we go back a long way the balls in her court now.

Sorry for typos, I just hung my laundry outside (That's desperation for you!) and my fingers are frozen stiff!

I think you may be being a leeetle oversensitive. A few years ago a friend and I had to agree to take different routes to and from school because our dcs wound each other up terribly. It was 6 of one half a dozen of the other. I guess my situ was different in that we both recognised the problem at the same time so neither offended the other.
I don't think she's blaming your ds as such - she's blaming the chemistry between her ds and yours iyswim. The fact that she whispers hello to you suggests she still values your friendship.
Fwiw my dc and my friend's dc are absolutley fine together these days - even in class, apparently

midsummereve, the way I undesrtood it is not that your friend thinks that your son is hyper, she thiks that the combination your son + her son makes her son too hyper before school. Does that make sense?

i don't think tghis is a reflection on your DS at all.I just think the other boy needs a calmer start to the day and gets excited around your DS (are they best mates?)
Absolutely nothing for you to feel upset about !

Maybe on their own the two boys are fine but, like most children, get them together and they turn into hyper whirlwinds.
Maybe she was just trying to say that walking to school with a friend wasn't helping him settle before he had to go into school and be calm and quiet.

Although why on earth she whispers hello to you is beyond me?
Does she think that her ds just seeing your ds is going to send him loopy? She sounds a bit loopy herself .

Get her over for coffee and find out what this is all about, you'll feel much better.

The whispering is odd, tbh.

And I have to ask,how do you walk past each other without the boys seeing each other?

My son's friend's Gran has started taking a different route to and from school to avoid ds. I haven't asked but I know her granddaughter, who has been in the same class as ds for three years now, has always been a handful when walking. She was kept in a buggy well into reception because her poor Gran can't possibly chase after her.

I didn't take it as any slight on ds - just that they do get a bit over-excited and giddy when they are going to and from school. They play together very nicely at other times, though.