Long story sorry guys
FH's parents have been away for a few weeks, and have offered to look after DD on fri night while we go to a party and DH said yes. They wanted some time with DD after being away - which is fair enough I want them to too but -
His sister and husband and 3 children are still living there - they move out next week. His sister and mother both are into childcare and are very full on, but the last few visits I've been disgusted by their behaviour AIBU??
One time they had DD while I was at work, I come inside to hear DH's sister yelling out "dobbers wear nappies!" in a bratty toned voice - then I see her son yelling this in DD's face. He is was 4 in sept our DD is 4 in Dec. I was shocked, being in childcare you'd think you would say to stop that - but she's teaching him to say this to our DD!
Another time they're playing games - their own that they play all the time and DD hadn't before, she of course lost and 4yr Nephew and 5 yr old Niece are calling DD a loser and mocking. Again SIL and MIL don't say anything - like that's not nice etc - I know I would!
They're encouraging the niece to be a leader - she use to be very shy now she's out there and mega bossy, talks to DD pretty rudely, she can't say her "f's" and says stuff like hairy instead of fairy and niece mocks her. Bosses her around - do this and that blah blah - know it's normal, but if that was DD I'd say play nicely. MIL and SIL have gone onto saying infront of DD she's the boss, becuase she's the eldest - trying to boost her DD up but hello DD's old enough to play nicely and doesn't need a boss.
Last get together they got the niece to sit at the adult table. DD then asks "how come _ is sitting at the big table" MIL quickly pipes up, "because she is 5 and a half and older than you", there's no way my mum would have said something like that. I felt like saying to my DD you can have a turn too if you want - and I will next time.
DD starts crying at one of the concerts the niece bosses the kids around to do and SIL make a deal out of it -"oh shy!!" and she never is. I know that DD is sensitive and heard the way the niece was talking to her and that way the reason, she never normally is shy. Another time it was DD's turn and niece wouldn't let her ago too busy saying do this do that and I was like "it's DD's turn now" and I noticed SIL didnt' say a word and enjoyed her DD being the boss too much to care - we were all the audience of it.
SIL has sat on the floor with her two playing games - not bothering to include DD who is right there and she has once been upset.
And lastly the last get together she hit DD in the head, DD never really crys but was bawling, and finally told me and SIL what happened - niece hit her in the head with the wand - SIL didn't bother getting her to say sorry.
Anyways, I posted something similar one time before. SIL asked to have DD to look after 'to give me a break" I'm pregnant but only 19 w and she has 3 under 5. I said we are busy and I'll see her at the next gathering. NOW MIL has asked DH and he said yes and she's going to be around both of them. One other time too I heard the way the niece was talkign to DD and other newphew and I said "those poor kids being bossed around like that get this " and MIL again quickly pipes back "If they didn't want to be there they wouldn't. Afterwards SIL was almost begging to look after DD, like it's no problem - look at today they were off playing happily by themselves I just know deep down, she would be all about her own kids, and like use our DD, and try and bring her confidence down and practice for her DD's confidence being a leader before she goes off to school next year - she is very bright and advanced - can write her own stories and awesome pics - the reason she held her back was because of her being shy and not confident.
I just don't want her alone with the SIL or MIL with the others - I don't trust them and want to be there to see what they're up to, want to look out for our DD. I know they're all about working on their children's weaknesses and boosting them up - but not to the expense of DD.
AIBU to say we just want to take DD, the party is horror and more adult but I really don't want to stay long anyway, she can be our get away excuse. Am I being silly?? I just really do not trust them esp when I'm not around!