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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you are walking down the street with DC...

44 replies

VengefulSinner · 09/11/2009 20:16

...and someone is coming toward you that they should also respectfully move to the side so that you can all pass each other rather than force you and sometimes even DC to have to step into the road?

Profanities coming...

I am so fucking pissed off with just how rude some people are and how inconsiderate they are of children and their safety!

The amount of times that ds and I have been walking on the pavement and someone/a group walk toward us, and they make sure they keep walking the line they are walking rather than make room!!!

And I don't mean as in stop or walk in the road to make way for us, I mean take a step to the side and carry on walking forward just as ds and I do so that we can all pass by. The pavement has more than adequate space to accommodate us all! I even put ds in front whilst holding his hand still and dodging his ankles ending up in me doing a strange waddle so that I am also not taking the piss...

But no.

They leave a huge fucking chunk of pavement to the side of them and I end up walking in the road and on occasion DS (5) has ended up stepping into the road too!!!! It makes me fume!

And before anyone says "why don't you walk in the huge fucking chunk of pavement left" - it is still not large enough for ds and I to get through side by side and it would also incur a slalom effort of manouvering that a skier would be proud of!

I have never said anything directly as tbh the person is fleeting by, but I have on occasion made comments about how rude some people are to make a child walk in the road and now I make sure that ds and I stick to the wall and do not move forcing said person to step around us. But the filthy looks we get for doing it!!!

Does anyone else experience this?!

OP posts:
LuckySalem · 09/11/2009 20:19

I understand totally. People do this with me and DD too. Mainly (sorry to generalise) gropus of teenage boys and as they're walking past they're swearing away and it does annoy me too.

YNBU

pranma · 09/11/2009 20:23

Keep walking and as they come up to you stand still-they will pass either side of you.

thisisyesterday · 09/11/2009 20:23

you need a ds like mine! he just doesn't move! he will walk straight into people if they don't get out of his way

actually, it's very embaerassing and i'malways having to drag him out of people's way. but you know, it works!

5Foot5 · 09/11/2009 20:25

YANBU

What really used to annoy me when DD was small and I walked with her to school, was that I sometimes met mums coming the other way pushing buggies two abreast who wouldn't move out of the way.

I don't mean one mum with two buggies obviously, but two mums who were walking side by side having a conversation. No harm in that when they are not in anyones way but I would have though it common sense and courtesy to go single file when they met someone rather than continuing to take up the whole pavement.

Like OP I and sometimes DD would have to step in to the road to get past them.

lockets · 09/11/2009 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Heated · 09/11/2009 20:30

Usually I will move dcs out of the way of older people or pushchairs by making them walk ahead if there isn't room for everyone. However if there is plenty of room, then is damn rude.

I did see a woman, holding her child's hand, walk him into the path of a middle aged lady and then gave her a nasty comment and a glare for knocking into her boy.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/11/2009 20:30

The best way I've found to avoid this happening to you, is not to make eye contact as people approach. Just look slightly above their heads and keep walking, people will leap aside because they think you are just going to walk right into them.

Original poster
VengefulSinner · 09/11/2009 20:34

5foot5 - that's the one that got me riled enough to post here tonight.

TWICE today walking home from school - once the buggy situation like yours and just before that was two mothers walking into the school side by side and they point blank refused to move! I ended up nearly faling into the car parked next to me

I feel as if mothers/parents in particular should have more condsideration...

Like I said, most of the time now we stop and make them move, but the looks of disgust we get.... makes my blood boil. DS has just turned 5 FFS! (but is tiny so looks like he one of the nursery kids )

OP posts:
zebramummy · 09/11/2009 20:41

i hate it when tradesmen with big vans on their lunchbreak leave their doors ajar near a narrow pavement - i have been known to push their doors shut to avoid having to step out into the road with ds - i have a similar issue with workmen with their skips and rubble blocking my road esp when they put up suspicious looking makeshift barriers to stop pedestrians from coming through

lizziemun · 09/11/2009 21:35

YANBU.

But these are the same mums who stand in the school gate talking then get shirty when you shout at ask them to move so you can take your child into school on time.

JjandtheBean · 10/11/2009 01:29

YANBU

this happened to me alot, i find my huge beast of an icandy pear has prevented alot of this, in my sleepy town people look scared of it!

(or maybe its the kids inside it)

JjandtheBean · 10/11/2009 01:31

just read pp about buggies, thats not me honestly, i stop to the side for children or older people to get around easily.

newmenewname · 10/11/2009 01:51

oh yes one of my pet hates

why can't people share the pavement? (not talking about over excited little children/double buggies in children in dream world!)

Igglybuff · 10/11/2009 05:35

YANBU. I had to step in the road with my 5 week DS in a sling to let some harpie overtake me and my friend. She walked right up behind us and tried to force her way between. I should have not moved but the polite girl inside me gave way!

whooshspicemonster · 10/11/2009 08:11

I always walk really as close as I can to the wall/houses so that anyone passing us has to go on the street side. And I never make eye contact. I used to go out with this bloke who was a black belt in something or other and he told me that the fact that I always was the one who moved approaching someone else walking down the street was because I wasn't occupying my space with enough confidence. It does sound a bit wanky but it does work if you think that you have the right to walk your chosen route and others should move for you. Worth giving it a go anyway

And YANBU

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 10/11/2009 08:29

He wasn't wrong, spicemonster. I always insist that we go 'single file' if we need to pass someone on the pavement, but I won't give way to anyone. You have to stand tall and , as Alibaba said, look ahead and slightly over their shoulder.

Failing that I'll come to an abrupt stop and force people to walk around me. I have also, though, been known to push my way through a crowd saying 'Excuse me' in strident tones (after the obligatory, polite version, obviously).

I have no shame in Pavement Wars.

borderslass · 10/11/2009 08:37

not just with young kids my daughter who is 18 broke her leg earlier this year and the amount of people who just stood in her way in a shopping center was ridiculous now she is usually polite but she had a few choice words and peoples attitude stunk.

Original poster
VengefulSinner · 10/11/2009 10:03

at Pavement Wars!

OP posts:
Original poster
VengefulSinner · 10/11/2009 10:10

I also remembered just now - me, ds, a friends and her dd were coming out of school one day, when a young teenage couple walked past.

As we came out of the gate the girl walked right into friends dd so that FDD's head bounced off this girl's stomach.

It is akin to a blind corner for us coming out the gate but people approaching can see us. The kids were 4 - the teens about 16 odd.

SO what heppens??

The girl's boyfiend tuts at us and says "look where ya goin".

SO - a 16 yr old girl walks into a 4 year old with enough force to bounce her head and the 4yo gets the tut and not an "are you alright" or anything?? Or even a courteous "sorry" that we all (or most of us anyway) automatically say whether we are in the wrong or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
VengefulSinner · 10/11/2009 10:10

I think I just have too high expectations of living in a considerate, couteous society

OP posts:
borderslass · 10/11/2009 10:15

welcome to the ME FIRST LAST AND ALWAYS SOCIETY.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 10/11/2009 10:18

I find a loud "excuse me" works well. I hate the not moving as much as I hate it when people just budge up to you and get annoyed that you won't move out of their way in shops and the like. They expect you to just know that they want to get past. If they would just say excuse me I would happily get out of the way.

bedlambeast · 10/11/2009 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
VengefulSinner · 10/11/2009 10:25

I tend to find myself apologising for asking them to move in those situations Pfft...

"Sorry, can I just quickly get past you please"

And then more sorry's and thank-you's as I scoot past with ds amid the tut's for daring to ask them to make way.

OP posts:
MillyR · 10/11/2009 10:29

There do seem to be a lot of threads at the moment about the difficulty of everyday life due to the rudeness of others.

I just don't find people that rude. I don't find that people get in my way on pavements, or don't say sorry, or push in queues, or won't help me on public transport, or push and shove to get on transport before me.

The other day there was a delay getting on the bus because three people were saying 'no, after you, no, after you,' to each other.

I live in a small rural village, shop in a small rural town, and work in a big, ethnically diverse city. But maybe it is a regional difference; I really don't know. I spend a lot of time walking and on public transport because I don't drive, and I generally find people to be pleasant.