to think this is not a career choice of a decent person?

[itsbeingsocheerful]

DH has played around with tarot since he was a teenager. Always out most when he's feeling stressed, unsure of future etc.

I don't have any issue with and think they can be quite fun/diverting but mean absolutely nothing.

He was made redundant a couple of months ago, and the tarot have become almost a permanent fixture, which I sort of understand. But now he's talking about trying to turn it into a business - premium phoneline schtick - and has done quite a lot of detailed research.

I hate this idea with a passion, and am not sure I want to be with a man who thinks it's ok to prey on what I see as others' vulnerabilities. And for some reason the phoneline thing seems worse that a face/face reading.

He says I'm a 'stuck-up prig' to object. Am I?

Given that I have at least one job that involves a different way of making money out of gullible numpties, I am not going to be too sniffy about Tarot lines. There are worse cons out there and I think people are entitled to spend their money on whatever old rubbish they like (no one is forcing anyone to ring these lines).

When you dial these numbers you either dial an 0906 number and pay through your phone bill, or 08000 and pay via credit card. CC calls come through to me, I book them and the reader calls you back. £90 for 60 minutes.

There's a few of us, our manager, Customer Services manager, 250 readers, reader Manager, Rota Manager, etc etc etc.

My guess is that he is feeling hurt by your attitude after putting in all that research effort, and coming to a decision to do something as a job that he enjoys. Being made redundant is quite an ego battering for many, especially men, so he probably needs encouragement right now.

He is probably wondering why you are putting the needs of random strangers that might possibly use his service over his need to be contributing, and working at something he enjoys.

Sorry to have disappeared last night. Main puter requisitioned for hours of homework, and laptop out with DH.

Thanks for all your replies. It would seem the MN consensus is against me.

I admit that mine is a 'what will other people think' reaction. Knowing his attachment to the cards, I have often thought what it would be like to be married to one of the famous psychic/medium types dealing with the accusations of snake-oil chicanery. And how would I tell my very rational, 'this is all there is' friends.

But Flockwallpaper is right, I'm not being particularly supportive, but I don't get why he just can't spend his energy looking for a 'proper job' rather than dreaming up schemes.

Anyway if ilove is right maybe he'll be a big success and I can deal with the money first, before worrying about others' reactions

My (bonkers) Aunt used to do it. She remained very vague about her job, and called it "counselling". Would that work better for you?

You can always CAT me and I'll give you the number for him to call if he want to apply with our company

Have only read the OP, but I think that YABU.

on face of it seems to be about exploiting distressed/confused/lonely people

but you could inject lots of positive ideas and self-worth into those clients

it could be fun and quite wholesome?

is probably better than selling booze or cigarettes (and I am v grateful there are enough indecent people around doing that to keep me going)

I have a problem with someone not qualified treating people as a 'counsellor' and I have a problem that vulnerable people might take risky action based on what they think a tarot reader is telling them.

Not that the tarot reader is telling them something but just that the client thinks they are.

If he believes in it, he's not scamming anyone. More disturbingly, you clearly have very different views of the world. DH Is a bit more "hippie" than I am, but ultimately we are in agreement on most spiritual/belief things which is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. If he truly believes it, isn't it a problem for your relationship that you clearly think it's a load of ol' hooey!?

Sorry if that came across as harsh. I didn't intend it to. I hope you can work it out.

I agree with what Laurie says.

I would have misgivings too. Apart from whether he actually believes it himself, the other 'decency' test is whether he's upfront and clear about the charging - in the way ilove's company seems to be (fixed price for a fixed time) . If he runs it the way busyButterfly outlined, stringing out indefinitely, then IMO its unethical whether he's selling woo or something real.

BlingLoving it hasn't been an issue until now, cos I quite enjoy "playing" with the cards myself, just for me and good friends.

They have proved quite a good way to get people talking about stuff you know is bothering them and have an inkling as to what they'd like to to do next, but can't/won't admit it.

But no, I've never believed in the 'woo' IYSWIM and on the couple of occasions that I have surprised myself I have but it down to my being amazingly perceptive

But it's this idea of involving total strangers, that is something new and sits uneasily with me, although probably less so than when I started the thread - not sure if that's good or bad

I don't have CAT ilove. I will investigate further. Look out for me!

I can see why you are uncomfortable with it, it does seem like the idea is to get as much money out of needy people as possible.

Nothing wrong with making a living from something that not everyone believes in (my father is a vicar!) but its not right if its exploiting people.

There is something to be said for using tarot and other woo-bollocks as sort-of-counselling tools. Like all the other woo-therapies (aromatherapy, crystal healing, homeopathy etc) the actual 'healing' is utter bollocks, the benefit to the client (and what s/he) is really paying for is someone to listen sympathetically and give a little TLC.
THe best peddlers of woo are actually the ethical-ish con-merchants who know it's all crap but are conscientous about giving sane and non-risky advice ('the stars are telling you to eat more veg and take a little gentle exercise'...' 'try to take 5 minutes a day to think positive loving thoughts to yourself'). Often the worst ones are the excessively devout believers who will pass on unsafe advice because they think that's what the magic turd is saying....

Laurie, I understand your concern but a) nutters will take their own interpretaion of advice and do nutty things if they feel like it and b) 'counsellors' of the woo-free variety are just as capable of being nutters, agenda-pushers or just rubbish at their chosen line of work.

unfortunately,many people are hard of thinking and believe tarot/new age shite.and there are many charlatans willing to fleece them of their cash.including your dh seems

SM - agree. I went on Brighton pier once. Took off wedding ring, and refused to answer any questions, just said - please tell me my future. Load of B***Ks - but sadly desperate people want to cling to something that gives them hope, and get fleeced. look @ Derren Brown's book 'tricks of the mind' and Houdini's biog - all mystic stuff is trickery, and the vulnerable are expoited.

external locus of control and susceptibility to charlatans is sure fire way to lose your money

I dunno there's something fundamentally unsexy about a man who believes in mumbo jumbo

in either gender belief in quackery is unappealing and dumbass.such beliefs are deeply unintellectual and a bit sad

If your husband can read tarot cards for people whilst maintaining dignity, I'd say it was ok. He needs to earn a living.

it is legal but a bit icky

Look, there are worse jobs he could do. He could work for one of those doorstep loan or payday loan companies - those really are methods of fleecing the desperate. Or he could work in the deeply unpleasant and health-threatening slimming industry.
TBH there are always going to be a percentage of dumbfucks prepared to believe in woo and chuck money at it, their best option is the ethical self-aware con-artist who only takes what they can afford and gives them basic, vague advice along with sympathy and enough woo-bollockery to make them take it seriously.
FWIW when I was young and daft I used to play with Tarot cards too, when I got a bit older i stopped bothering except now and again, particularly for a superstitious mate as if I advised her on what to do, she took no notice, but if I gave her a reading (and the same advice) she paid attention.

ilove, I've CATted you. Thanks

After the daytime responses, I was beginning to feel I was over-raeacting and I should climb down off my high horse.

But then came the evening replies which have put me back in a quandary.

I know I can't stop him earning money anyway he likes, I'll just have to go with the flow, for the time being I suppose.