to think my BF is spending a ridiculous amount on xmas presents??

[macdoodle]

yes I know its none of my business and she can spend it how she likes!!
But they are skint properly skint, she works hard but not paid a lot, her DH has been out of work most of this year, and she regularly complains how skint they are and worries about paying the mortgage!
We usually have a night out a week just dinner and movies, which we havent done for ages as she hasnt been able to afford it (which is fine as I am pretty skint to!)

However today we have been talking about xmas, and I said am going to have to really cut it down this year!!
She says me too, but then says she has already spent £150 on an ipod touch for her 16 yr old DS and £50 on a jacket, and so put £200 cash away for her 17 yr old DD1, so will just get them a few extra "bits" each , and then says she needs to spend the same on her DD2 who is 8 (same as my DD1), and will get her the huge sylvanian family hotel and a few DS and Wii games!!

Blimey I am in shock , and am wondering how much she normally spends if that is cutting down, I wasnt planning on spending any more than £100 max on DD1 and have been saving my tesco vouchers for the double amounts for toy shopping, and wasnt planning a lot at all on DD2 (who will be 2)!

Am I out of touch, is that a huge amount on shite toys for children, she reckons a thousand pounds will cover the children , they worry about paying their mortgage, they havent had a holiday for years, am just shell shocked I think!!

Shocking.

There are always people who think that you can quantify how much you love your children by how much you spend on them.

I can't remember what I had for christmas as a child but I do remember the traditions that made the day special.

YANBU. If she wasn't constantly bending your ear about them being skint then it would be one thing, but to say you are broke and then spend that much - and tell people about it! - is daft.

I love Christmas, and we always had fantastic ones as children. As we got older and Mum and Dad were better off they spent more on us, and still buy us very generous gifts now. I don't get this thing of spending the same per child though. If what I wanted was £50 and what my brother wanted was £300 then that was fine, and vice versa.

I always want us to be able to afford a nice Christmas, so we have a seperate savings account that money goes into each month. It gets transferred back into our current account at the end of November, and that's the budget for tree, food and presents. Anything that doesn't get spent goes back in the pot ready for next year.

I mean no disrespect but if you really had no other memories/experiences during the other 364 days of the year that could rival christmas day then i think your childhood was sadly lacking. Yes i too used to get v excited about xmas and i want to emulate that for my DCs too but there really is more to life than opening up a big stack of presents.

And how do you know that 30 pounds doesn't do it for her kids? the joy of a present/experience is not and should not be in direct equation to how much you spend. That is where we're all going horribly wrong IMO.

YANBU - I have a colleague who's already spent a fortune on her DCs Christmas presents this year and is showing no signs of stopping. SHe can't believe I've not bought anything for DD yet...I'm getting sick of hearing about it, it does seem like a status symbol type of thing for her. She also mentioned the other day that she can't afford to pay into a pension....