to want to sell my jointly owned house?
I got pregnant when I was 17 and moved into a place with my xpartner, this deteriorated and I moved home at 7mths pregnant. My mom was great, she stood by me, let me move back home and also offered to look after DS when I went back to work ? this was when DS was 3 mths old because there was an opportunity with a bank that I couldn?t miss. (btw this was 13 years ago and at the time with only GCSE?s behind me it was a good job). At the time my mom didn?t have to and didn?t want to work ? she did not give up employment to look after DS. She did however go through the Childminding courses to become registered so I could claim and paid her as a full time childminder ? the money plus keep did get passed on.
My father has always had problems with depression, this came to a head when after my mother forced him to go to see a doctor and he did, and also got referred to a hospital counsellor he took the AD?s and was so much better he then went down hill after refusing to go back and get a repeat prescription and my mother decided enough was enough and decided to go for a divorce.
My son was nearly 3 at this point.
Now ? as I was working FT with no partner at the time and mom was main childcarer plus I was at that point 21 and I also had a 17 yr old sister I felt obliged and also wasn?t that fussed at jointly buying a home with my mom and me, she put down a deposit and I paid the mortgage. There was a time where I was the only breadwinner in the house but my mom was looking after DS. She did get a part time job however it has always been because that was what she wanted even though she phrased it as looking after my son ? but if you know my mom she only ever does what she wants to if you know what I mean.
Anyway ? my mom decided she didn?t like the area we had moved to and at that time we had already got my son into a school in another area so we decided to sell and move. At this point I was happy to go ahead but made it clear it wasn?t forever ? plus the fact we could only afford an interest only mortgage on the property and as my sister was still living with us we had to extend to make 4 bedrooms.
Fast forward to now ? I want to sell, I have a lot of debt from the extension and work done on the property and I want to be able to make some decisions on my life (I am nearly 32) and I am being made to feel that I am unreasonable. I also subsidised her while I was working full time (on top of the childcare money) and subsidised my sister who wafts around and works or not as it pleases her.
Am I being unreasonable to feel that if my mom decided to divorce my dad as the eldest child I should not be expected to take over his (monetary) role forever? And if she wanted to child care that was her decision ? I paid her for it, not made her? (Plus as he is now 13 she is not and is working FT)
It seems such a mess ? not helping by the current situation as the houseis on the market but she is refusing to reduce too much as she needs X amount to sort herself out
I just wish I had said no at the time (which I wanted to but got guilt tripped) and sorted myself out 10 years ago
I really worry that I will be in a position that my mom will be too old and I will feel too guilty to ever live on my own