Race issue

[KimiTheThreadSlayingRocket]

Not really a AIBU but need advice on how to deal with this.
We live in a very "white" area and there is only one little girl in DS2s class who is from a Jamaican family.
It would seem (so said the teacher this morning) that yesterday this little girl ask DS2 to pass her a black pencil and DS2 said "you already have a black pencil" at which point the little girl burst in to tears and said DS2 was calling her black!!!!!!

Now the kids are 9 years old, the teacher has said he was party to this and ds2 did not call her black he said "you already have a black pencil" but the school have to deal with the girl being upset... and made a complaint!!

Um I think I may be missing the point but what exactly has DS2 done wrong here?
Despite living in a predominantly white area now I grew up in Brent and Wembley have lots of friends of all races that my children know , do I tell DS2 never to use the word "black" do I ask to speak to the school as I do not think DS2 should be in trouble for this.
I did make sure the teacher had got it right and DS2 had not said anything other then "you have a black pencil".

What do I say to DS2 when I get him from school? How do I address this...
Help

I'm a bit confused.

Who has made the complaint? The school?

I think "complaint" sounds like the wrong word here - the teacher will have had to make a referral or fill in a form or something - as previous posters have said, this ensures that the little girl and her family feel her concerns were properly looked into. It's won't be a negative mark against your son. This isn't political correctness gone mad. If your/my DC thought someone had made any kind of nasty comment about them and got upset, you'd want the teacher to investigate. Hopefully she will accept the truth and they can be friends!

She is a lovely little girl, not a drama queen type at all nor from what I know of her the sort to try to get someone in trouble, her family seem very nice too, she has a sister at the school also.

I did wonder if she is coming down with something as DS2 get so upset over every little thing when he is sickening for something!

I have to go in to the school tomorrow for PA stuff so will have a word with the head.

I will also make a point of catching her mother and clearing up any misunderstanding.

Junglist, if jumping to conclusions were an Olympic event you would be our great hope for 2012. Do you know something about this 9 year old girl that the rest of us don't? What horrible posts.

Well yes she could be being a drama queen, but I just think it's a bit harsh to assume she was. We don't know. She could be genuinely upset.

What's horrible is the boy didn't say a thing wrong and a report has been made out even though the teacher heard what was said. I'm not jumping to conclusions. Racism is a very very serious accusation.

Does "spoken to DS2 about it yesterday" mean 'asked him what happened' or is it a euphemism for "told him to be careful in future what he says"

Hopefully the former.

Really, I would hate to think it had to be recorded somewhere that an accusation had been made. Even if this teacher understands there was no racism the way it's written down could look quite different to someone reading it much later.

"oh well it's not the first time this one has been in trouble for racist remarks" kind of thing.

It seems like madness to me if the teacher knew at the time it was nothing of the sort.

If she overheard wrong the teacher could've explained gently and left it at that. A report has been made because she cried putting OP and her son in a defensive position.

What Onagar said.

Will speak to school tomorrow and let you know what is said/done.

All this fuss over a pencil. In the meantime what kind of talk is going on in the playground out of earshot? That could explain why the girl got upset. Tell them no reports need to be made on your son but they could maybe ask the girl if anything has been said by anyone else

So - every time a child cries over something when another child is present, do schools have to fill in some kind of incident form?

Don't know about where Kimi lives. I would have duty to report incidents of bullying, racism, homophobia, sexism etc. We report based on how the victim feels, - so a reported racist incident could turn out to be substantiated or unsubstantiated. Racism is being taken seriously in schools and I hope no-one is saying that is a bad thing. Kimi's son will not be in trouble given what he's said and the teacher's said. It may well turn out the girl was upset at something someone else had said, who knows.

All sorted, spoke to teacher today who confirmed it was all a miss understanding and he has spoken to both children and it is all cleared up.

Such a relief.

Oh, glad to hear it and sorry for the night you must've had worrying about it. Still think it's better dealt with than ignored (though not sure why it had to take so long!) Hope your DS is ok about it now too.

Poor lad, I meant to say!