To think that "Plain Speaking" is actually special code for "obnoxious?"

[Janos]

I've seen that some posters here pride themselves on telling it how it is, speaking their mind and so forth.

In reality, it's often an excuse to be rude, make hurtful comments and take out your bad temper on other people.

Why on earth is this regarded as being some sort of positive character trait?

I have had issues before with my dh's generally nice but "plain-speaking" aunt. Recently we were getting into her car and she said to my dd, "Look, you know you need to move over a bit don't you, your mum's a bit fat!"

My dh says she doesn't mean any harm by anything she says, she prides herself on "calling a spade a spade", I'd call it rude myself!

YABU

There are many posts that need some plain-speaking in response. Don't confuse plain-speaking with rudeness.

Would you prefer everyone to put on their best Sybil Fawlty voice and respond "Oh I knooow" to some of the really daft posts we get on here? Sometimes the OP really need a reality check.

I don't say anything on here I wouldn't say in rl

sometimes I am kinder and less blunt here cos there's the time its taking me to type out rather than blurt

I think the point the OP is making though, WetAugust, is that some people use the phrase "plain speaking" as an excuse to be rude. Not all plain spoken posts are rude, but some are. I'm as guilty of it as anyone - somehow it doesn't always sound rude when its in your head, but when you type it out, well....

I guess that's what the preview post button is for, though.

Loving the idea of doing my best Sybil impression, though!

If you look at my other posts I actually agree with you WetAugust, sometimes it is called for.

I'm thinking more of cases where someone is being actively rude or nasty to someone who is distressed.

what I find funny is that all these plain-speaking types, on here or in RL, can dish it out but ohhhhh, they cannot take it

I was once a member of another site which stamped down hard on any disagreement at all with the OP - no matter how daft the original post was. The mods actualy said "we're here to support, not criticise". So the daftest posts such as was i unreasonable to behead the postman because I broke a finger nail that morning" would elict pages of 'Sybil Fawlty' respionses interspersed with

Wtf did people bother to do this - what on earth did achieve???

IT MADE MY BLOOD BOIL!!!!!!!

I mean of course being actively rude or nasty under the guise of "plain speaking".

For example, someone posts cause, I don't know, their DH says he has gone off them cause they have put on weight and they;re understandably upset.

Mr or Ms Obnoxious Plain Speaker would come out with something like...well I don't blame your DH, fat people look gross.

Thats the sort of thing I mean.

It's all gone a bit Jeremy Kyle...

...I'm just being honest

...I'm entitled to my opinion

...I'll say it like it is

...Look at me!

Get off my stage.

All euphemisms for 'I am a massive twat'

Yeah WetAugust that would drive me potty too. Nothing more nauseating than endless hugs, although they do have their time and place of course.

Right Janos - I see you what you mean. In that particular instance I would congratulate the poor woman for getting rid of such a shallow, inconsiderate DH.

Or would that be wrong?

WetAugust - that sounds nicely honest to me!

Hugs hun would drive me mad. If I want hugs hun, I'll ask my DD for a cuddle. If I want useful but not rude advice, then I'll come onto MN.

Ta TheBOSSOFME - but that response would have got me flamed on the Goatbreeder's site.

LOL at the Goatbreeder's site

Depends. Some people make a big deal out of the importance of 'honesty' and go on and on about how 'honest' they are - but they never seem to use their fabulous honesty to reinforce anything nice that they say. So anyone who trumpets their own honesty is usually signalling 'I am a thick, self-righteous twat who likes to justify being gratuitously rude to people'.

On the other hand, some people do need the online equivalent of a good kick in the twinkle.

AnyFucker 'what I find funny is that all these plain-speaking types, on here or in RL, can dish it out but ohhhhh, they cannot take it'

That's the first thing I thought when I read the OP, I know three people who love to dish out exactly what they think of other people, but one wrong word back and they're straight down your throat grrr

From what I can gather, they pride themselves that they always tell the truth, but the real truth is that you should never tell the truth in all situations, and if you do you wont have friends for very long.

Janos, I think you are correct.

I have tried to stop using prefixes such as 'with all due respect'etc because actually it means I have no respect for you!