to give the NHS antenatal classes a miss and aim to muddle on through somehow?

[silverten]

Am 35 weeks pregnant with first child, been going to NCT classes which have been nice in terms of general info about labour, painkillers, that sort of thing, and have met some nice people who I hope to keep in contact with (which was the main reason for going, TBH).

Antenatal care in my area consists of seeing community midwives who don't seem to really know anything much concrete about what happens at the hospital I'm booked into when you go into labour. I have asked a few direct questions and the predominant answer is 'oooh, I don't really know, it depends...'

Hospital does antenatal classes but a combination of work, building work at home, and general slackness means that I have left it too late to get a place on these. There is a private option which is run by a midwife (as opposed to an NCT person), but this is frankly rather expensive and I'm not sure I'll learn much more than I already know, particularly in terms of what actually happens at my hospital (which is what I'd really want to know about).

I'm tempted to simply say 'sod it' and muddle through, as it doesn't seem likely I can get any particularly concrete information about what happens at my hospital now. I kind of think the private option is a bit unnecessary as I actually work with a load of doctors and midwives anyway (totally different geographical area, however) in a research capacity- so at least can get more 'clinical' information fairly easily.

One thing that perturbs me a bit is the knowledge that I have not the slightest idea how to start looking after a baby in anything other than the vaguest terms. My mum has volunteered to help, though, so hopefully I should be OK, right??

How much can you learn about looking after a baby on a Saturday, anyway?

Am I being totally unrealistic???

Mrs Badger, what bf advice do you think is dubirous in what to expect? I gave up on the book after it went on and on about diet and how to share dessert in a restaurant.

Silverten, very few people know how to look after a baby until it arrives!

You might want to read up on breast and bottlefeeding, and how to bath a newborn (not complicated). And if you don't know, about nappy changing (cotton wool and water, wipe bum - no magic to it). And work out how the car seat/pram work. Not that your midwife will help you with that, anyway.

I found the classes a good way of meeting people, but felt completely patronised by the content!

I found Yehudi Gordon's Birth to nine months book good, quite practical and not too dogmatic about the 'right' way to look after your baby. And it covers all the essentials plus a baby health encyclopaedia at the back to check up on all those odd spots, snuffles and twitches

Epidural - depends how busy they are really as in how many other people are wanting one. They should be one on hand at all times, but if he is busy it could be a while, then you might be too far along eg: too dialiated to have one, but then again they won't give you one too early. Ask the hospital what their policy is, which is probably flexible.

I had one when I was 4.5cm's but it only worked on the right half of my body, all the tubes etc were checked and they were fine. So I could not bare any weight on the epidural leg. So I felt like I was pushing the baby out all wonky, but it was bliss on the side it worked!

Depends if they are busy or not again, as to how long you will stay in after, with 1st time Mums, overnight at least it common practice. They also like you to have done a wee and poo before you go and if you are breastfeeding, to have a good latch and the baby taking milk, again this can take a while.

With DS1 I was in for 6 days as he was jaundiced and with DS2 I was in for 7 days as he was in special care baby unit with low blood sugar, not life threatening just had to be tube fed till he was stable.

I felt in sagfe hands both times, especially with my first as DS1 was 5 weeks early and I went into hospital with nothing but my husband and handbag!

Our antenatal classes were utter, utter rubbish. Here's a doll being pushed through a knitted uterus and no man in the back you can't ask a question as you have no womb and therefore are unimportant. Is it hot enough in this room, shall we whack up the heating to the hell setting for laughs? Stop fainting in the back. DH fell asleep, combination of bored and very hot. I spent the time inventing life stories in my head for all of the other pregnant women just to get through the class.

I needed an epidural (needed as was being taken for an em cs due to dd in deep transverse arrest). There was a bit of a wait for an anaesthetist. 2hrs in the end. That was hard. Nothing to do but wait and contract. The variables are great and it's hard to answer questions definitely.

I was discharged 12hrs after the em cs and tbh I was desperate. Postnatal ward was hot and very noisy and I wanted a decent cup of tea and some sleep. But you might have a quiet ward with lovely staff and earl grey on tap.

I'm not helping am I?

It is normally pretty quick (depending on if it is at night and anaesthetist asleep!), how many other women are requesting them at the time, or most importantly if they are in theatre. If that is the scenario it could be an hour or two. So, if you think you need one, ask before you feel you can't bear it any longer! Having said that, once you decide to get an epidural, the contractions will seem to be much harder to bear simply because you feel the cavalry is on the way (iyswim!)They may be able to give you pethidine or diamorphine in the meantime and hey presto, baby may be born! All anaesthetists aim for a mobile epidural, that is, a trade off between losing the pain but retaining some movement of legs etc. The midwife should ensure you move around the bed to avoid bedsores if you are unable to move yourself. A walking epidural is different and is offered in very few places, safety being one factor (risk of falls etc) and the efficacy of the pain relief being the other. If you are planning to bf, stay as long as you need to to feel confident with positioning and attachment but in my view, head for the hills if you can! A postnatal ward is no place to start your new life as a family and I speak as a professional and a mum! However, if your MLU has nice cosy rooms where dh can come and go as he pleases and you get some peace and quiet, there is no rush. Good luck, post again if any questions occur to you or you need clarification.

PT at ours they pulled out a flip chart with the word 'contraction' on it and said, so who can tell me what contraction means? I may or may not have said something about reducing two words to one with the use of an apostrophe and I may or may not have been glared out.

I only attended the NCT classes and found I knew more than friends who had only attended NHS classes. If there is a labour in motion course at the local hospital this is worth doing though as it gives you more practical advice for labour.
I would recommend the book your baby week by week to anyone as it is great for a first time mum with information you feel stupid asking like how many times a day should your baby poo. It also has a first aid/common illness section.

I haven't read What to expect in the first year but What to expect when you're expecting is dibolical - amongst other things, it mentions that hiccups in the fetus can be a sign that the cord is wrapped round the neck or something similar. My midwife thought it was hilarious, but when you're heavily pregnant with a baby thathas hiccups 3 times a day, it isn't so funny!

My NHS classes had nothing about baby care at all, although they did run a seperate session on BF. Agree not to worry about routine, etc - feed them when they're hungry applies to both BF and FF.

My experience of hospital is that they are not great places to recover - I had to stay in a bit longer as well, as had c-sections both times, and found it impossible to sleep, when I had DS2 I was in tears on the second night as I was so exhausted and it was so noisy. If you have support at home, it is the best place to be.

Had I only done NCT classes, I would have missed the excellent session by the NHS class on breastfeeding and the opportunity to hold a very life-like doll in a breastfeeding position (not sure if they still do this). I started off breastfeeding feeling fairly confident as a result of this and thought back at the time to that doll. The NCT class did not prepare me in the least for this.

I've found the book 'Your baby week by week' really helpful. Just did NCT classes - the woman I spoke to at the hospital said there was no need to do both.

As people have said, breastfeeding is the most likely thing to have problems with. Ask your local NCT group what local sources of help there are for breastfeeding. I used the national NCT bf helpline a couple of times and found it helpful. And if you need help with bf while still in the hospital demand it. I have friends who went through a lot of pain from not getting it right to start with. You could ask in advance whether they have a bf counsellor.

I have 2 Dcs. Due to health issues, I could not attend either NHS or NCT classes with either. They still got born! Actually, in a way, I think it helped! I didn't hear any nasty 'horror' stories before hand. didn't get involved in the unofficial , bet my last/next labour was/ will be worse than yours competition.

If you have been to any classes, you have done more than I managed and guess what< children get born whatever!

Wonder how many of our grandmothers went to any ante-natal classes? Mine didn't because her children were all born pre NHS! And it was hard enough for her to find the eleven guineas or whatever it cost, just to have my mum and aunts in a hospital rather than at home!

I've heard stories of women in the past going into labour without the faintest idea that the baby was going to come out of their fanjo

Imagine that.

Actually don't.

How terrifying!

FreeTheGuideOne

I did an NHS class with my first. The midwife ushered all 20 of us into a hot little room, shoved a video on and went out, leaving us on our own.

We sat their in appalled silence watching a film showing this very bored looking woman pushing a baby out in glorious technicolour - full snatch shots and everything.

It was like watching porn with your mum. Horrid. Bizarre. Hilarious.

There

Mine were pretty rubbish. I didn't learn anything at all, too busy having contractions at my penultimate one to pay attention to 'how not to drown your baby when bathing it' (and when I fidgeted cos I was very uncomfy, the HV siad 'if you have to be somewhere badkitten just go' so I did - walked a mile home in labour

And when I had dd and first had to put a nappy on her, I realised I didn't actually know how to do it!

Actually I wouldn't have wanted to be in the antenatal class that were finishing when I arrived at the hospital to have DC2. It was so fast, I nearly gave birth in the car, and ended up 'rushing' into the maternity unit at 9pm and giving birth at 9.05pm. The poor women coming out of the maternity entrance as the class finished at 9 saw me in the foyer screaming 'oh god its COOOMMMMIIINNNGGG NOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!' whilst doubled over in pain with petrified DH trying to half carry me! Bet they wished they'd given the class a miss that night. Talk about putting people off!!! ! Bit more reality than they needed!