to not invite family friend to our wedding?

[readyfornumber2and3]

Dp and I have been together 5 years on 14th december and have a 3yo and 12 week old twins and have decided that its time we got married! (have been engaged since 2 months after we met!)

we have arranged a registry office wedding on 14th December and had decided to only invite immediate family (My Mum and Dad and Brother and his gf and Dp,s Mum and stepdad and Dad and stepmum)

So there will be 13 people including us and the kids.
We have found a fantastic restaurant that has a private dining room which is perfect for the reception and only seats 14 people, we have nearly everything arranged and literally just have to order the wedding flowers now.
All of it has been arranged in the last 3 weeks and for 2 of them my parents have been on holiday.

Anyway Mum went to see her friend who has been a friend of the family for about 25 years at the weekend and was telling her that I am getting married and the friend asked if she could come.
Mum asked me if it would be possible and I reluctantly agreed that she could come to the ceremony (I am not specially close with this friend and to be honest I find her hard work and a bit strange) but said there is no room at the reception .

Mum has spoken to this friend today and she is now kicking off saying that she has seen me grow up and wants to see me marry and is really upset that she isnt invited and also wanted to know why Mum and Dad havent had any say in the wedding arrangements!

I can understand that she may want to see me marry but surely its our choice who we invite?
Dps Nanna (83) isnt even invited and she understands completely that we just want a small do.

Now Mum thinks that the friend will wind my Dad up about not being invited and that he will want her invited!

I really really dont want her there but I dont want to fall out with my Dad over my wedding day!!

AIBU to not invite her?

When DH and I got married he invited 2 neighbours who had seen him grow up and they were so thrilled to be asked. One couldn't come but the other did and it was lovely to see her there and see how proud she was. Both ladies are dead now so very happy they saw him married and met his children.

However, you don't want this woman there and the way she has acted leads me to believe she will make a fuss, woe is me to not get even a drink after the wedding, and I think she will spoil the day for you.

I would cancel the invite.

I would also move heaven and earth to get great nanna there. Of course she says she doesn't mind, that generation are very stoic. I would arrange everything and present it as fait au complit. My Nana has died now but I did everything I had to to get her to our wedding. Only relative I had. No way would I have got married without her.

YA absolutely NBU.
When we got married we did the same and DH's grandma kicked off as we didn't invite his aunts and cousins (who neither of us particularly like) and yet we had the 'cheek' invited his (half) sister and her kids.
She came '' that close to being univited herself.

YNBU at all.

Hope it works out

Thanks everyone x
I feel better knowing Im not the only one who would feel this way!

I have rung my Mum and told her that her friend is not invited as I dont want her causing an atmosphere at the wedding.
Mum said that is fine and she understands but I know that my Dad will have something to say (if not now then at a later date!)

With regards Nanna we are not against her coming and if she said wanted to she would be very welcome but the logistics of her getting here a not easy so she is happy not to attend.