to think people can't really mean some of the stuff they write on here?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

I mean, in RL, if a friend said to you ' you won't believe what happened today, I was on the bus/train/whatever and was in obvious [insert difficulty] and no bugger came to help' you'd say, 'oh poor you, what a load of useless twats', rather than 'oh, well, you should have planned it better, you shouldn't have had so many children, you should do this and that differently you useless mare' ?

Sorry, bad form, but I really think people 'speak' to people on MN in a way they really wouldn't in RL. Yes it may be anonymous tinternets, but we are all still people on the other end, no?

DIDDUMS

lol

Well..

POint 1: Don't ever post on AIBU if sympathy was what you were after. In fact, don't post on MN if you are after the softer side of life!!

Point 2: I read the thread you are refering to and I would have def. helped.

POint 3: I would have thought: It was flippin' stupid to think you could travel with 3 kids and luggage without help.

I often travel with two kids (17 months and 3 months) and a dog, plus associated baggage, and I never leave the house without first checking that I can carry the kids and all the bags.

The dog has to carry his own lead

SO, I don't think you are being unreasonable, I don't think the other OP was being unreasonable but it's STILL not some strangers duty to help you... Especially when you are chucking out passive aggressive statements.

UQD, can you just pass on a message to your DW for me? It's brief: leave him.

I say lots of things on here I wouldn't say elsewhere. Like, David Mitchell, phwooooooar.

sorry, yanbu - we have a degree of anonymity here and how much of our RL identity we reveal is up to us.

Obviously if you have given nothing away as to who or what you are in real life, I suppose you have the freedom to say exactly what you like without fear of any repercussion.

So, maybe some people do say what they are afraid to say in real life. I think I've maybe said too much personal stuff here to get away with that

You have to remember that to some, MN is their opportunity to be noticed in life, rather than the usual - the universe looking at them and saying 'meh.

That is my opinion anyway, either that or they really are are callous and full of spite as their posts suggest.

YANBU

YANBU i think some on here just like the attention they get when they post venom, but wouldnt dare to say such things in RL

I do think the tone has changed a bit over the last couple of months though - maybe because of newbies, maybe because there's been that repeating troll, maybe because we're all being told not to reveal ourselves too much? But there does seem to be some extra judginess around, and lots of people leaping to take offence for no reason. Half the threads I think of posting on I read through and think 'meh' - why bother?

kat I wasn't saying it to you.

Rather thinking of things I would almost never say in real life:

cuntflaps!

I think if you post in certain section asking for advice or honest opinions, then you should expect honest answers.

I do agree, though, that there is a fine line between honesty and being down-right rude!

I also can't abide the threads where people slate other children's names. Those are real children being taken the piss out of! I think that is way below the belt.

When you respond in real life you are responding to the whole person; you remember more about them and you see more of the whole real person and the whole situation.

When you respond online you only respond to little snippets, and take it as though those snippets were representative, which they may not be at all.

Also, I know I'm guilty of coming across much more harshly online than I ever mean to -- ever would allow myself to sound IRL. It's harder to say things gently online.

I have to say that iIMO RL is very different to MN
I don't know anyone whe reports someone to ss for house being too tidy or because their mothers brothers auntie says she kbnow someone who has Munchhausers syndrome.

Like madamearcati says MN is quite different to RL. In RL I've never heard people say things MWs/HVs are dismissive of bottlefeeding, people stare at me because my ds is in a pushchair, someone made a rude comment about my dd who had her dummy etc., so the situations are quite different.

About the thread in question, if the OP was my bestfriend and she came to me stressed about her experience I'd empathise with her but would say kindly you can't expect that strangers would help you honey, too many selfish people about these days. But you can't talk like that about someone you don't know on the Net can you, so it sounds harsher than it is meant.

Mamazonarocket loving the spit some of the venom out before they post

gibbon at the name. Think you are right too. There is also a small number of posters who seem to mostly respond to posts in a negative/provocative fashion and probably are venting their day's frustrations on an unsuspecting mnetter.

I think it is possible to be very honest without some of the venom and spite that sometimes accompanies.

Idle chit/chat and moans don't seem to go down well whether in AIBU or not!

Unless you can take it you should never post on AIBU-it is setting you up for half the posters to say YABU.
If you do it just because you are sure that you are being entirely reasonable, then it is a good thing to see the other side. It is very rare that everyone agrees.
In RL I don't give my opinion unless asked, and then I tend to be very diplomatic, and so it is very addictive to be honest!!

I've posted it before but it bears repeating...

John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory

Some people are strident in their views. Some are more diplomatic. Some are serious. Some are hilarious.

Hope that helps.

What the hell? Link here

So true UQD, so true.
Poor bastard, keeping the family afloat while the woman loafs about the house all day (and probably doesn't even get a nice dinner together.)

I am not being sarcastic btw.

Ruffallo, God yes!!! Bloody counselling!! That drives me insane.As if some fuck wit in Surbiton who has done a 12 hour correspondence course she found in the back of 'Take a Break' will make an iota of difference.

YABU

I agree that people don't have to be as venomous as they often are here. You can tell someone that you think they RU without personally offending them.

But I get very surprised with people who post on AIBU and then get offended if they're told that they RBU.

If they're looking for sympathy and not honest opinions there are other places to get it