To want to answer the door to Trick or Treat-ers with a bloody great Bren Gun under my arm?

[Vallhala]

The little shites bullies in my daughter's secondary school have started to take their behaviour out of the classroom. The latest threat is that they will use today as an excuse to egg our house.

Now I'm no fan of Trick or Treating nor of egg-weilding brats so I reckon I have three simple options if the little darlings turn up here.

1. To leg it out of the door after the buggars and grab them by the throat.

1. To let my dogs do much the same as the above.

1. To open the door with the WW2 Bren Gun under my arm which I just happen to be looking after for a friend. It's decommissioned but no-one other than an expert would know that... and I doubt somehow that 12-14 year old spotty youths are experts on anything other than masturbating Man United players.

I've concluded that number 1 will get me arrested, worse still number 2 will get my precious dogs put to sleep so .... number three.... whatcha reckon folks?!

Maybe you could give them a treat? Lovely laxative chocs? Yummmmm!

egg them back

Laxative chocolates? Now I like that idea!

Can I still go to the door carrying the Bren Gun, just for good measure? Pleeeeaaaase!

Yep, do that too, everyone needs a back-up plan

chuck a bucket of cold water over them?

we love here, i live in newish housing estate and halloween is very popular, i havent stopped since 5 oclock. had loads of little children, all dressed up and face painted.
i bought two tins of roses from co-op bogof offer, and its going down rather well.
i hate bon-fire night btw, what a waste of money, could build a few houses for 3rd world

why not bake some halloween fairy cakes with razors or strichnine put in them. that'll get rid of the beggars

I reckon that No. 3 might get you surrounded by police with your garden lit by an overhead helicopter. I don't think I would brandish a gun - they aren't to know it is decommissioned.

Mind you, I do understand why you would want to do it. Laxative chocolates sounds the way to go. Sadly, you won't get to see the wailing and moaning as it takes effect!

Failing that, or as well as that, egg them back. They won't be expecting that! If you can somehow get hold of some bad eggs even better!

No 3.

How about a cauldron of hot boiling oil emptied over their bullying little heads.

I hate bullies!!!!

I'd go with the egging them back. From the upstairs window will probably be best

Think no.3 WOULD get you arrested while the police work out back at the station or wherever wether the gun is decomissioned or not.

Would also mean the S.W.A.T team would come out, fully armed and shielded no doubt and if you are very unlucky, kick your door down.

I would also go with the laxative chocolate!

Oooh....are you sure?

Not even to show them a peep of the Bren?

Looking on the bright side some of the SWAT team are bound to be quite fit, men in uniform and all that

all 3

How did it go Vallhala?

Hi WhereYouLeftIt, haven't I got some of your family living with me too? That's certainly an often heard cry here!

Well, the local spotty oiks are still in one piece and mercifully so's the house but DD1 thinks she can see something which has been thrown at her bedroom window. I'll find out in the morning....

Peace came remarkably early outside - the hammering on the door and dog-barking this side ended at about 7. Thank heavens its just settled upon me inside now too and the DC are in bed at last and I've just poured a Bloody Mary as its now officially my birthday.

Cheers!

sorry to hear your dd is being bullied

dh was the same after 11 knocks on door and SOME in middle of x factor

dh has an air rifle - legal to shoot on your personal property (ie mr+mrs Blondes house/garden)

was thinking about opening door holding rifle ....

happy birthday btw vallhala

no you can't set your dogs on kids fgs

most trick-or-treaters are just excited little kids, like mine

sorry to hear your dd is being bullied though, that's awful for you all

Thank you Mrs Blondes!

Greensleeves, never fear, I wouldn't risk my dogs' safety, they're far too precious!!

I hate this time of year the police have now stopped local shops selling eggs and flour to kids.

Awww...I take great pleasure in giving fully grown teenagers Drumsticks and Refreshers and Mini bars whilst totally patronising them

Happy birthday Vallhala!