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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To peep my car horn at an annyoing woman???

50 replies

fifitot · 30/10/2009 09:34

At petrol station last night, it was really busy. All the pumps were full with queues at each one. I drove in and was behind a car.

The woman whose car it was took AGES to get back in and move it so I could get to the pump. I waited patiently for her to pay, not her fault the queue was so long. However on her return to the car, she stood and scrutinised her receipt for a while, dug around for her keys for a while, messed with the wing mirror. Eventually got in the car, looked at herself in the mirror, eventually but on her seat belt but THEN took out her phone! I don't think she made a call but was maybe looking for messages etc.

I am normally a non-confrontational person but at this point I just thought 'get a bloody move on there is a queue here!' So I peeped the horn, mainly as a reminder that there were people behind her.

This has happened to me and I usually just say whoops and pull forward so someone can get to the pump.

Unfortunately she stormed out the car and started to shout abuse. It was actually quite funny as she made a bit of an idiot of herself tbh.

I suppose me peeping the horn could be seen as provocative but she did over react I think.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

fifitot · 30/10/2009 10:33

Yes the balanced, sensible side of me knows that there is little to be gained timewise for suggesting she move on. If it was a mother with kids or an elderly person or whatever I would have sat patiently.

However there was a bit of me that thinks she knows full well what she was doing.

Anyway I wasn't stressed particularly just amazed really. Especially at how these seemingly well groomed, well dressed woman with a posh car was such a volatile potty mouth!

Thanks for sharing your views!

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 30/10/2009 10:33

It is inconsiderate if there is a massive queue of people behind you waiting. Very inconsiderate indeed imho.

OrmIrian · 30/10/2009 11:07

Well it sounds a lot more than 'more than 30 seconds'. Checking the mirrors fine, seat belt fine...but no-one has to check their phone and do their make-up at the petrol pump when others are waiting.

HerBewitcheditude · 30/10/2009 11:23

Well yes she was inconsiderate, but beeping your horn at someone for any other reason than to warn them, is pretty yobbish IMO.

I just think it's bad mannered. As bad-mannered as keeping everyone else waiting.

TheDevilEatsBabies · 30/10/2009 11:32

if it had happened to me, i would have yelled and kicked off at her in return.

yanbu: if i need to piss about after i've got fuel, i pull away from the pump and into a convenient space and then faff.

the horn-honking is annoying, but she was being a twat, so it's her own stupid fault.

why can't people just take a little bit of notice of what's going on aroundthe,?

StrawberriesandCherries · 30/10/2009 11:32

YANBU

How did you react to her having a go at you? Great sideshow for all the others waiting!!

RustyBat · 30/10/2009 12:08

I don't think the op said she did her make-up, just 'looked at herself in the mirror' .....

Original poster

fifitot · 30/10/2009 15:53

It was well more than 30 seconds I can tell you! I had already patiently waited for about 10 mins as there was a queue at the payment point and obviously that' s not her fault.

However the dawdling around when she she had seen the 4 cars behind her, WAS her fault.

Fair enough beeping is annoying but it wasn't a full on beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep just a quick tap as if to say 'can we move it please'.

I didn't react really when she began her tirade, just asked her to move on as had been waiting a while. I did say 'nice' after she'd called me the c word though!

OP posts:

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 30/10/2009 18:54

Fifi don't worry. Most people would do the same and she was in the wrong by being so bloody selfish. She's also made a right tit of herself shouting obscenities at you when there was a queue of people feeling the same way as you.

What makes her so special she gets to spend ages at the pump making everyone else wait?

Sometimes people need to be beeped so that they know they have been ridiculous.

HerBewitcheditude · 30/10/2009 19:26

I'm shocked that so many people think it's all right to beep people just because they are impatient.

I think it's the height of rudeness.

nappyzonecantrunfortoffee · 30/10/2009 19:30

if i was the faffer and could see someoen behind getting tetchy to be annoying i would deliberatly take even longer like her and deliberatly get my phone out. On the other hand if i was in a rush and someoen was faffing i would get triled but probably wouldnt parp my horn in fear of being battered. My other top annoyance is people who go to the pay at pump pums then pay in the shop arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 30/10/2009 19:33

HerBewitched- most people don't have all day to wait around for selfish people who faff. It may be rude but it is in response to something much ruder.

MillyR · 30/10/2009 19:41

I thought you were only meant to beep to warn people of a dangerous situation. People beeping just because they are annoyed reduces the attention people will pay if someone beeps in a genuine emergency. It is like a nationwide game of boy who cried wolf.

She may be inconsiderate, but you are irresponsible.

navyeyelasH · 30/10/2009 19:48

I have beeped my horn twice; the first time I was pulled from my car and "beat up". The second time I had my passenger window punched (Luckily didn't break).

Now I never beep it unless another car is going to hit me and even then I think long and hard about it.

I think YABABU - what's the rush afterall?

HerBewitcheditude · 30/10/2009 20:10

I just think it's an oafishly rude attitude. "Most people don't have all day.." no, but it's not generally all day, it's a few minutes longer than comfortable. Why do people think they are so busy and important that it is preferable to be rude than polite, if slightly irritated? Do you really want to be part of the problem of generalised "sheer bloody rudeness" of modern life? Do you want your children to grow up thinking it's acceptable to be so impatient and crass when your desires aren't fulfilled immediately?

In some cases, it is not rudeness on the part of the person who is keeping everyone waiting. It is simply incompetence, or forgetfulness or in some cases, a slight disability which you can't see, like arthritis. I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Original poster

fifitot · 30/10/2009 20:17

Well I am generally a very patient person and yes there was a reason I was in a hurry but of course this woman didn't know that.

However she knew there were cars behind her, yet she still felt it OK to check her phone, do her hair and generally not consider the queue of cars behind her by taking her time.

If that was me I would have moved the car quickly to reduce the queue.

Not sure it was me being rude tbh!

OP posts:

GooberIsLockedInTheBootOfMyCar · 30/10/2009 20:21

That was my sister. She was phoning me to ask if I wanted anything in the shop, to which I replied;
"No, there is probably a massive que."

BosomForAPillow · 30/10/2009 20:23

Blimey navyeyelash! Where do you live?

BosomForAPillow · 30/10/2009 20:26

And YANBU. You clearly said you peeped your horn which sounds understandable. If you had honked that would be a bit different but a gentle peep is just like saying "Hey lady, time to move along" - not that rude.

HerBewitcheditude · 30/10/2009 20:41

Ah, the peep versus the honk.

I suppose car manufacturer's ought to have different tones on car horns - then you could have a "polite could we all move along now" tone, a "what's going on up there, anyone know?" tone and a "FFS move your great big fat lazy arse you dippy ole bat" tone.

BosomForAPillow · 30/10/2009 20:59

Yes, definitely a must in my next car. Do you think there should be 3 different horns, which the driver would nudge/press/punch or just a system of holding down the button for different lengths of time depending on the message to be conveyed?

MillyR · 30/10/2009 21:04

There does seem to be a lot of Lynne Truss style ' I think someone else is being rude and I am so outraged by this that I am going to be rude as well' going on at the moment.

There would be far less rudeness if people just rose above it.

navyeyelasH · 30/10/2009 21:15

bosomforapillow - I live in Bristol but I got pulled from the car in Cardiff; both times I honked rather than beeeeeeeeeeeeped!

I agree with a nudge/prod/punch system of horns

BosomForAPillow · 30/10/2009 22:51

lollopops · 30/10/2009 23:31

'I think we need two types of horn - one for emergencies and one for ever-so-politely-wish-to-draw-your-attention-to-the-fact-that-you-seem-to-have-forgotten-where-you-a re'.

I think you're right isitme.

Two gentle peeps to make person aware

One long continous peep to get out my fecking way

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