Opinions please.

[dontknowwhat2do]

Little bit of background...

Im a childminder with a 21 month old and a 9 week old baby. I've been back working since he was 2 weeks as we just bought our first house and need the income.

DH cleaned the kitchen today - he usually does on a Sunday and moaned about how horrible it was. (One days worth of dishes needing to go in dishwasher and floor/sides need sweeping) I love having a clean kitchen but it gets me down that it is always me who does all of the housework.

Anyway, he complained to me about the kitchen and so I asked him when the last time he cleaned the kitchen was - last sunday! I said I was fed up of doing all of the work and felt that he should be helping share the load.

His response? "You are at home all day - you should do it all. How do you think I feel going to work all day and coming back to a state? Looking after the children isnt even a job"

GRRRR!!!

Am currently still fuming and not instigating any conversation as all I want to do is shake him!

BTW, house is NOT a state - just toys everywhere with the 5 children around and general daily kitchen stuff.

So, AIBU to be annoyed with him? And what can I say to get him to help me!

I'd give up your pretend husband, but maybe that's just me...

Ye, ask your husband if when he goes to the toilet "at work", whether he has someone banging on the door/poking their fingers under the door.

Ask him whether he ever manages to finish a cup of tea

Ask him whether, whenever he is muttering to himself absentmindedly, he has to repeat what he has said to one or more other people, even if what he has just said is "must remember to put the dishwasher on"

Ask him if his co-workers throw themselves on the floor at random times for no apparent reason

Ask him whether his co-workers poo themselves and expect him to clear it up

Ask him if his co-workers expect him to sing twinkle twinkle little star 7 times on the trot

etc etc

Well, I'm pleased I am not going crazy and not being unreasonable at all!

I'm currently on washing strike - if it doesn't make it into the wash basket, it doesn't get washed so we shall see how quickly he runs out of clean clothes.

And I'm definitely going to book a spa day with some friends - on a day his mum is at work - sabotage the TV and see how he likes it.

I rarely get the chance to make a cup of tea, never mind finish it!

"my job is to entertain and inspire the chilren I look after", where are you living op, because you sound like the exact person I would love to leave my dc with when I go back to work.

Not the same thing but I remember my ex packing excitedly for yet another jolly to Portugal with his work. I said how knackered I was and I wished I was going away to the Med for a couple of days (we hadnt had a family holiday for two years). He said importantly "well lavenderfleurs, I made this job and all the perks that come with it happen for myself, if you want this kind of life and these kind of perks you need to make it happen for yourself!". Yes, thanks, now I see the light, unfortunately who will be looking after our 3 year old with SN and 4 month old while I make it happen for myself? Oh yes ME, the same one who was providing 24 hour childcare for YOUR kids while "YOU" MADE IT ALL HAPPEN FOR "YOURSELF". I felt true hatred that day.

Lavenderfleurs you are well out of that one. "Made it happen for himself" what an arse sounds like he's spouting self help books.

OP YAsoNBU and he is being ungrateful, mean and selfish. TV sabotage and legging it while his mum is working sounds like great plan.

quite scary reading this post. i am in the exact same position at the mo. only im 6 months pregnant with dc2, suffering from pgp and im a cm. it doesnt matter how many hints i drop or times i shout, he still does nothing. then he has the cheek to say 'well at least i go to work, you dont work and you still dont do the housework'. (obviously we have magic fairies who doing our washing, care for our dd, wash up, make tea etc. etc.) if he does do something (after much persuasion) he expects a medal for it because he has done ME a favour!
anyone else feel like they are living with an extra child sometimes? why do men think childcare is not a real job?!
sorry...rant over

Where do all these horrible men come from? How haave they ended up like this?

Imsonottelling, I blame the mothers

spooky yes...

i find these threads so depressing though.

or maybe it's how their fathers treated their mothers?

probably a bit of both.

I think it may be his mum to blame - he lived with her until I came along and we lived in her house for a few months before finding our own place.

She's not that great at housework, I always warn her when we are coming over so she has time to get the house ready for the dc to get around.

smileyhappypeople - want to come on the spa break!?