to think my niece should't stay up so late?

[LynetteScavo]

My niece is 16, and regularly posts on FB at 4am or 5 am saying she's just off to bed, or that she really must get some sleep now, etc.

She's always been allowed to stay up late, and SIL has always stayed up untill midnight/1am .

She's home educated, and an only child, so has no need to get up early the next day, but I can't help thinking this isn't healthy, or good preperation for working life...unless she gets a job working nights;then it would be perfect.

lol murdering a kitten

actually my main concern would be that at 16 years old, the level of academic naus needed to Home Ed would be really high, and unlikely to be provided by parents. Though of course, that depends completely on the subjects she chose and her parents knowledge of them.

Ooh look I'm stayint up really late tonight too!!!

SIL is very bright, and could educate DN if she were so inclined. DN isn't as bright as people presume (ie as bright as her mum), but is still above average, although she is deemed as "not makeing suficient progress" by the powers that be.

SIL had a sharp mind and and a sharp tongue, so I suspect not many people will dare sugest other wise.

SIL had a sharp mind and and a sharp tongue, so I suspect not many people will dare sugest other wise.

well, takes more than brains to make a good subject teacher, esp as if DN is doing 4+ a levels she can hardly have done advanced study in all of them. Plus the subject matter is generally dumbed down and altered for a level to some extent (to the point where, for e.g. chemistry, you turn up for degree and get told to forget everything you learned at a level).

are you concerned DN is depressed? although it is perfectly possible for a Home ed kid to have brilliant social life i imagine it requiring rather more effort.

the former home-ed kids my sis teaches are v. nice, but she finds..shy.

i was found to be 'not progressing adequately' in lower VIth, but that didn't matter so much then as courses weren't modular, it was all wham, bam, thank you Exam!

i suppose really, it is SILs business, and probably, intervention would only serve to damage relationship with SIL. do you ever get time with DN alone?

Thanks Edgar, DN didn't take any GCSE's as SIL say's she's "not ready". I don't really want to get into the whole education bit.
I don't think DN is depressed........I'm more concerned about DN's general health....I can overlook the lack of excercise, poor diet, SIL's heavy smoking, and wouldn't dream on commenting on them (although DH and I do mention them to each other).
It would have been very easy for me to comment on DN's facebook status though, (although I see now to her and SIL it would make me look like an old buisy body, and would hardly encourage her to go to bed early ).
All in all, I don't think IABU to think she should go to bed earlier, but I won't be giving it any more thought. It's just not my buisness.

ah nigelslater, I'm afraid it never occurred to me to associate late nights with a lack of discipline or inability to deal with delayed gratification

because in my family the three of us who have tended to be night owls have also been the ones that have worked hardest and in the most disciplined way to reach a goal- that's what we needed the nights for

I wouldn't have the academic job I have if it hadn't been for my late nights as a teenager

but agree that there could be other problematic sides to this particular teen's life

YABU. My sleep patterns are very similar. I've always been a night owl, could easily go for ten-mile long walks or clean the house at 3am. I force myself to try to get to bed before 1am (which is difficult as I'm just not tired, even if I've been up since 7am), since I have to take DD to school and go to work etc, but in my ideal world, I'd go to bed around 5am and get up at lunchtime. I'm far more productive later at night than in the mornings.

If you niece is home-educated and happy, then frankly it's not your business to be concerned.

As long as your DN is getting enough sleep I don't see it as a problem.It has been shown that teenagers sleeep patterns are different.
Nigelslater fan -why do you think that its is hippy nonsense ?Do you think the research is flawed ?

YABU - all people have different circadian rhythms - some are night owls and some are early birds. My two oldest DDs are completely different and are far less ratty when we let them follow their natural rhythms rather than trying to impose what we think works on them.

However, there is a difference between proactively and concsiously deciding to let your child or teen find their own rhythms and ignoring them completely. If you think that it is a symptom of her mum's general attitude to her DD, then YANBU.

Edgar - you need to read more about how home education can work before spouting stuff like "actually my main concern would be that at 16 years old, the level of academic naus needed to Home Ed would be really high, and unlikely to be provided by parents. Though of course, that depends completely on the subjects she chose and her parents knowledge of them."

Anyway, as the OP said, this is not a HE debate so I'll shut up now.!