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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DS go trick or treating?

60 replies

Deemented · 24/10/2009 07:57

DS is five, and this year is the first year he's actually asked to go out trick or treating.

Don't get me wrong, i love halloween, but i really don't feel comfortable with the concept of letting him knock on strangers front doors asking for things. We have only lived in the area since the beginning of the year, and aside from our direct neighbours on either side (who we don't particularly get on with) we don't really know many people here.

However, i have planned a halloween themed day - carving pumpkins in the morning, making grusome cakes, halloween themed dinner and then i thought i'd let him dress up and answer the door to any t&t'ers we have. He however is not best pleased.

What do you think? AIBU?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 24/10/2009 10:57

Yes, I do view it as begging! If I wanted to give them sweets I would pop around and give them and then I would be viewed with great suspicion! I refuse to buy sweets-if I am in I make traditional toffee. I have waited in vain for a DC to tell me they can't have unwrapped sweets from a stranger so that I can say 'In that case you shouldn't ask a stranger!' but they never have. (I make lovely toffee, bag it up and write on the ingredients-much nicer than cheap blackjacks).

Vallhala · 24/10/2009 11:01

I'm with Clayhead, much to my DCs disgust. I don't want my daughters roaming the neighbourhood, knocking on stranger's doors and, if the neighbours feel as I do, pissing them off into the bargain.

The only apology I will have to make to my neighbours about trick or treating is for the angry barking of one irate Labrador thanks to the constant hammering upon my door by the umpteenth brat who doesn't seem to comprehend that if the householder isn't opening its time to go away, not hammer some more!

Original poster
Deemented · 24/10/2009 12:57

After discussing it with DP, have decided to stick to my guns and not let him go out. Am not going to be popular Mammy for a while...

OP posts:
HerBewitcheditude · 24/10/2009 13:04

God you are a bunch of killjoys.

I shall be buying mountains of cheap nasty sweets from the pound shop to distribute to local beggars and donning my black coat and helping the DC's dress up in vampire and witch costumes.

Then we'll go round the neighbourhood and knock on the doors where people have decorated for Halloween and so are obviously willing participants.

A jolly time will be had by all and there will be no blackmail. And in years to come, the DC's will look back on halloween fondly as having happy memories.

piscesmoon · 24/10/2009 13:34

Mine survived having a killjoy mother-they don't hold it against me. We did some good costumes and they had Hallowe'en fun without making it a misery for others.

pointyhat · 24/10/2009 13:46

You don't get on with your neighbours or anyone nearby? You only need three houses to go to, to make it a fun outing. Don't any of your ds's friends live nearby? Kids often go to their friends' houses.

Original poster
Deemented · 24/10/2009 13:50

I don't think he needs to beg at strangers
doors to have halloween fun.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 24/10/2009 13:50

Around where I live they go everywhere and then they turn up with carrier bags full of sweets-my DSs would have felt hard done by with 3 houses-much better to avoid altogether.

tobago04 · 24/10/2009 13:53

Could ds not have some friends round instead and get treats in so he has no need to go out?

Original poster
Deemented · 24/10/2009 13:54

TBH i'm not sure what, if anything, his friends have planned - but if you read my OP you'll see what i have planned.

OP posts:
daisydora · 24/10/2009 13:59

Aargghhh, I HATE Hallo-feckin-ween!!

I shut the curtains and watch TV with the lights off, take the batteries out of the door bell, and you still get the little beggers beating on my boor!!!

I am dreading the day my DC's ask to go trick or treating but they will certainly not be going.

So no YANBU!

megapixels · 24/10/2009 14:02

YANBU. Don't agree with it and don't see why it has to be compulsory somehow. Do it if you like it, don't if you don't.

tobago04 · 24/10/2009 14:03

It sounds great what you've got planned,ds might feel better about not going trick or treating if he has a friend to share your activities with

pigletmania · 24/10/2009 15:11

OOOh Pices can i have some toffee, pretty please

pigletmania · 24/10/2009 15:14

IMO if you really want to trick or treat i would take my child round to the houses in which we know, but i really dont want to my dd is only 2.8 years and did not ask. I have though got sweets for the trick or treaters though as most really make an effort.

mumeeee · 24/10/2009 15:18

YANBU. I hate Halloween. I don't think we should encorage children to go out and knock on peoples doors. But doing the stuff you are plan to do at home with him sounds great.

MuGGGhoulWump · 24/10/2009 15:24

I make up bags of stuff to hand out to kids, and I take DD out. Everyone does on my estate. It's fun

unfitmother · 24/10/2009 15:33

YABU, you might get to know your neighbours better.

piscesmoon · 24/10/2009 17:47

It's Delia's Uncle Billy's toffee-very nice and easy to make!

southernbelle77 · 24/10/2009 18:20

My dd, also 5, has asked to go this year too. I HATE halloween and really detest the trick or treating part of it! We were going to let dd dress up and go to neighbours house (son in same class as dd and going to ask them first), gp's house and dd's best friends house. However, dd has now been invited to her best friends for a sleep over so hopefully we don't have to worry about it anyway!! She's got a costume of a cat to dress up in which she can wear to her friends house.

YANBU and your day you have planned sounds much nicer anyway.

Stefka · 24/10/2009 18:39

YANBU I hate trick and treat. When I was young we had to do something to earn our treats - a poem or a song - we went Guising not trick or treating. No one seems to do that anymore which is sad - we used to have great fun preparing our little presentations for the neighbours.

ElenorRigby · 24/10/2009 18:54

YANBU, can't stand trick n treating. There is no way I would let DD or DSD do it.

Tidey · 24/10/2009 18:58

I'm a bit 'mixed messages' on this one. I wouldn't let my DC go out begging for sweets and threatening vandalism if they don't get them, but I keep a bowl of sweets by the front door on Halloween in case we do get any people coming round.

piscesmoon · 24/10/2009 19:06

It would be nice if British DCs even understood the 'trick-treat'part!

HerBewitcheditude · 24/10/2009 20:28

LOL at making it a misery for other people. You go only to the houses which are very obviously participating. People who want to join in and have bought sweets, put something in the windows. We put decorations up so that people know we'll give them treats. Then we take them down when we don't want any more visitors and I've never yet had anyone come after decorations-down time, or had my life made a "misery" by it.

It's a lovely sociable thing. They meet their friends, they get to dress up and walk around in the dark, they all wave to each other, they compare sweet piles, the adults stop and chat and after a while they get cold and decide they have enough sweets and want to go home. It's not compulsory but it is fun to see the streets come alive for that hour and people interacting positively, even when they shock horror haven't got CRB checks or a licence to distribute sweets.