Background: very toxic parents (abuse etc) myself and my sister who is one year younger got all the crap - no love, physical and mental abuse and both kicked out at 16/17. My parents are still pretty much the same towards us now.
There was a 5 year gap then my brother was born. (there is also a much younger sister who is loved too). He couldn't have been treated more differently - you'd have thought he was the second coming. He now works for my dad and will inherit his business. They have provided him with a job (he has 1 GCSE) with pay at @ £35k+ (am not totally sure), paid at least 20k deposit on his 3 bathroom house and are currently paying for his wedding next Oct. Oh and pay for his mobile and gave him a 2 year old jeep. They also see his daughter regularly, they have seen one of my sons twice.
Now I actually always used to get on with my brother ok and he used to come and stay with me most weekends - I'd say we were friends - but in the last couple of years he has really changed. his fiance is pretty shallow and materialisitc and he seems to have caught a lot of her values plus he smokes a lot of weed. He has always been a bit of a lazy 'not bothered' character but has got a lot worse.
I recently had a baby and when I told him that my parents were not interested he actually said he didn't 'give a fuck' ( I was crying down the phone) and that it was nothing to do with him. He has stopped sending me birthday cards even though I told him last year how hurtful myself and the other 'cast out' sister found this behaviour and now I have had my baby (a month ago) and he hasn't sent a card or gift. He really didn't used to be like this but it seems that now that he has got this great life being funded by my toxic parents that he has totally moved over onto their side. My sister feels that he has changed a lot for the worse too.
Anyway, I live in England and they live in Ireland. To go to his wedding next year will cost us a lot of cash we don't have. So AIBU to just tell him that I can't be arsed going to his wedding when he can't be bothered about the fact that my parents beat the crap out of me for years and have never given me any money or support for anything and most recently, that he didn't even care enough about me to send me a card for my baby's birth.
I am fuming, mainly because I am deeply hurt. I have had enough bloody rejection in my life - and he knows this - and now he is joining in too. And there is no point in telling him this stuff because I've already been down that route and it got me nowhere. Families eh?