To now be convinced I have been banging my head against a big, school shaped brick wall?

[chegirlknowswhereyoulive]

I know this may sound trivial but it has upset me.

I dont dislike my DS's teacher or TA. They are fine. There are a lot of good things about them and DS likes them both.

But (here we go). I have always been open with the school about DS's issues. Supply them with information, keep them up to date with what is going on. The head of inclusion was a bit rubbish and didnt pass stuff on for a while but that seems to be sorted. I also give stuff directly to class teacher.

Took DS to school today and saw that everyone had those reply slips for parents evening. I didnt get on yesterday. So now all the appointments will be gone and I will have to take what is left. OH works evenings so the chances are he wont be able to come with me now. The early appts tend to go first as lot of parents are not in full time work.

I told TA that we didnt get a lett..... Before I finished the hand came up and 'EVERYONE GOT A LETTER'. No we didnt, not in his book bag,not in his hand. We didnt get one...'EVERYONE GOT ONE'. No and we didnt get one last week about a school trip that he nearly missed out on.

She then told me 'we give them to the children and they have to put them in their bags' and then 'THEY HAVE TO LEARN'

Well the point is that my son has learning difficulties. He does not just 'learn'. He needs loads of prompting and reminders and you cannot assume he has understood what has been said to him or that he has heard it.

They know this. I have discussed it and explained it. He has a diagnosis and they know this. I am not being prescious about my baby. He has limitations that will not be resolved by ignoring them. He is not lazy and will not learn by his mistakes in this way.

My older son was a PITA when it came to bringing letters home (still is) but it wouldnt of helped if his teachers had done it all for him. It would have made him worse. He needs to take responsibilty for his own stuff. He can learn in that way.

My DS2 cannot. Its like saying about a Deaf child 'if we use sign language he will never learn to hear!'

I know I am ranting but it feels indicative of the lack of understanding I am getting from them. What is the point of going through all that testing and assessment, getting diagnoses, keeping the school up to date etc if their answer is going to be 'He has to learn'.

Feel free to ignore. I know its not the first AIBU I have done on this. Last time it was teacher asking me if I would mind finding a cure for DS's eczema over the weekend

I had DS's parent's evening this week.

His teacher was nice and obviously concerned but pretty much at a loss.

DS is still not reaching level 1. He is really not accessing very much at all.

Teacher even asked me if I had considered special school. I believe he asked this for the best of reasons and I even understand why he did it. Doesnt help that much. DS doesnt meet the criteria for special school. We have a very good one in our area but its for children with severe autisim and severe LD/PMLD.

I think the teacher is not really au fait with specialised schooling.

I would like nothing better than for him to go to a school with 1:1 and small classes. But its not going to happen. His statement is still at least 6 mths away. He is going to be in year 3 by then.

I have even tried ringing around for tutors but they charge £35-40 in this area. Totally beyond us.

Can anyone suggest where I can go to get help? I mean someone who can advise me on how to help DS on a day to day basis. I know academic success is not the be all and end all but he does have to learn to read and write. I want him to do as well as he can.

I worry so much about his future. Primary school is a walk in the park compared to what secondary is going to be like for him.

Any pointers from those in the know would be be appreciated. Thanks.