To be upset that I am not bridesmaid at my friend's wedding

[1757]

To keep it simple - I got married and had my best friend as chief bridesmaid. She was very involved, helped me choose the dresses, organised my hen night, stayed with me the night before etc

She was brilliant on the day and put her all into it and treated DH and I to a very generous gift. Of course I am forever grateful for that

Now she is getting married and having two other friends as bridesmaid. She has her reasons e.g. she has more close friends than me and it was difficult for her to decide. She didn't want five bridesmaids which I can understand.

However I can't help feeling hurt. I won't be involved at all and have been left out of the intial hen night emails. I won't be there when she gets ready. She says it is just one day but ....

She is not a "bitch" if she doesn't want an extra bridesmaid. And if you arrange your wedding to please everyone else it ends with unhappy brides posting on mumsnet asking "am I being unreasonable not to invite Great Auntie Flo who I have met once instead of a good friend and risk a family upset". Brides should be able to do what they like at their own wedding, the only thing is handling it sensitively to avoid hurting feelings. The hen night email sadly is not a good example!

YANBU to feel disappointed, I would too, but YABVU if you are going to do anything about it. When I got married I had to have FIVE bridesmaids AND a flower girl to keep everyone happy. It was absolutely ridiculous and I wish I had had enough resolution to stick with my first instinct and just have my 2 best friends, rather than be guilted into taking on extra. As you know, weddings are stressful enough without so-called friends (seriously, who would make a fuss about someone else's wedding? It is their wedding, deal with it.) being drama queens. Prove yourself to be the great friend that you are by not commenting or making any other kind of fuss about this.

Think yourself lucky.

I was bridesmaid for my cousin, bridezilla from hell. Made me dress up in a peach shepherdess outfit (complete with crook!)and straw hat, vile vile vile.

She got her pics blown up into poster size and has proudly displayed it for the past 16 years, above her fireplace. Every time I go there I want to rip it off the wall.

Seriously, to not get a return invite is bad. Was she bridesmaid for any of the others she DID ask?