To think that being a SAHM to two DC under two is, in fact, not equivalent to a permanent holiday?

[NorktasticNinja]

I'm a SAHM to DD, 23 months and DS 4 1/2 months. The house isalways clean and tidy (although littered with toys while DD is awake) and I cook a decent meal every evening. I also do all the household admin, properly. I do^ have a bit of a back-log of filing that built up while DS was a newborn, but nothing that cant be sorted given a couple of child free hours.

Someone very dear to me keeps telling me that what I do is 'nothing' and equivalent to a permanent holiday. I find it quite hurtful TBH.

I accept that I'm very lucky to be a SAHM and there are certainly harder jobs, but IMVHO/E it is hard work and can be extremely stressful at times.

Anyway, IABU to think that being a SAHM to two DC under two is, in fact, not equivalent to a permanent holiday and to disagree strongly when I'm told that it is?

YANBU - This is the hardest job I have ever done. Some days (like today) I'm still in my PJ's at teatime,
my toddler and baby are dressed though My house always seems a mess even though I am permanently tidying and cleaning, you get no thanks or pay either. Let him have a day with two children and see how easy he thinks it is

Yanbu, it is bloody hard work!!!!

I love going to work and am going to increase my hours next week as it's such a break, and I only have one and don't keep my house anywhere near your standards! YANBU. Who has said this?

YANBU

I was a SAHM to two under two and then three under three for about a year and I almost lost it. My house was never clean, we ate frozen and take-aways and I was feeling depressed most of the time.

IT IS the hardest job ever and I went back to work for a million reasons apart from financial.

I have a lot of respect for SAHMs, especially if you have to cover needs of more than one age groups

YANBU. I think the other person should take a few days annual leave for a "holiday" with the children while you go away for some serious "work" like a conference. If they're so fond of the children surely they'll jump at the chance .

I think it is fair to say that it's very hard to understand a SAHP's responsibilities until you've lived it - I spend many years TTC imagining my "time off" on maternity leave when I'd catch up with everything, follow my hobbies, do up the house... Did I ever come down to earth with a bump!

The awful thing is that the things you spend your time doing (washing dressing playing cooking changing feeding cleaning tidying) leave no sign of progress at the end of the day, so not obvious to somebody who hasn't experienced the role. But if you didn't do them... then there would be a difference!

Yanbu.

Our neighbour used to quip about me being a 'lady of leisure' (oh my aching sides, how we laughed) as I struggled with 3 dc under 3yrs, and he meant it.

I would have clobbered him with a used nappy bag, but I didn't have the energy. So I just used to glare at him with surpressed fury and a twitchy eye like Capt Darling from Blackadder.

yabvu

come on it is a holiday being a housewife

compared to
chatting about the tv and what you did last night
what to have for lunch
buying and endless discussing a new top from poo look
bit of internet browsing
flirt with a boy from marketing

working mothers really have it much much harder than you

She didn't say working mother's don't have it harder

You are doing amazing!

My cousin has a similar situation and she told me recently she couldn't manage to tidy during the day and was going to have to start doing so in the evenings, that is how tough it is, and she is doing great.

I can't imagine having two so young, I have one 5.5 yr old and 4.5 month old and I am exhausted and struggling!

YANBU, staying at home is bloody monotonous and stressful, while there is flexibility there is plenty on the hard side of the scale to deal with!

I have three aged 5, 2 and 8 months.My middle son is currently being assessed for special needs. My house is "ok" and I like to think I cook them nice meals most of the time. The things I dont get to do are:
shopping (nightmare with son)
reading
hobbies of any kind
sleep (my sister often asks me why I am tired as I have time to nap in the day apparently)
anything that doesnt involve poo, sick, snot or sometimes blood!
chat to people about anything other than babies
or watch TV in the day

I DO get time to play toys, browse the internet during naps and hug.

I am looking for a part time job especially one that is temporary so that I can save up to buy my husband something special that he has always wanted it isnt that expensive but I would like ot buy it myself as a surprise . I have been very nervous about how to fit this in if I ever do actually find a job though!

When people tell me my life is easy a SAHM OR imply that I am wasting my life I just ignore them as Im sure they ignore me when I say things they dont agree with.

Can only add that of course YANBU.
I have two under 3 and I am always exhausted. The house always looks a mess and I often give them frozen dinners and jars ans till I barely cope.
On top of the endless, tedious tasks, there's the loneliness, the boredom, the hours in freezing parks and drafty todder groups, there's the fustration and effort it takes just to get out of the house to the shops. When my youngest was under 6 months old I remember how isolated and anxious I felt in the house with them....the long, long days. I used to watch people in the mornings jumping into their cars and going to work and really, really envy them.
And I love my kids so much.

YANBU!!! I am SAHM to two under 3s and I am in awe that your house is always clean and tidy and you cook too??!! Am not showing this to my DH

Thanks everyone, this has made me feel a lot better.

Said person continues to listen to believe what he believes but at least I don't feel so alone with it

Just dump your kids on him saying "thought you needed a holiday" and go off for at least 4 hours.

YANBU!!

I feel your pain!! I'm in a similar position, have 2 DC 22 months and 5 months and my DH moaned at me for having an hour off to put my feet up and relax when I get them both to bed for an afternoon nap. I also cook dinner for us both in the evening, after bathing both LOs, do the washing and make his packed lunch every day. Grrrr!!!

I don't do filing though, and there is one cupboard I daren't open I'll be buried alive under paperwork forever!!!!

A friend who works, no kids, told me how fortunate I am every Sunday night that I don't have the Monday morning blues, which is true... BUT, I have the Monday morning nappy changes, washing, drying, cooking, singing, entertaining, tantrum distracting, park walking to and playing, baby feeding, dressing and dressing again!!

People say it gets easier - here's hoping!!

Christ no! I haven't read any of the posts - just the title tells anyone with an ounze of intelligence that

ounce I'm not intelligent obviously!!

I was a criminal barrister for 13 years my baby and toddler are far more tiring than any trial i did.

What do you do all day??
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand wasspread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'
She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'
Yes,' was his incredulous reply.
She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

ha ha liked that one!

yanbu op.

Dh got on my nerves soo much over the weekend that on Monday at 9am I left the dcs with him until 9am Tuesday morning.

He wasn't asking 'what do you do all day' by the time I got back.

And he gave dd2 cereal for dinner..

Try the same if the complainer in question is your DH they soon learn

Lol have just sent that joke to DH!

CC I love that!