more of a "who's right"? (its me though, isn't it? ;o)

[pooexplosions]

OK! MN Jury duty here...Whats the right thing to do here?

You are renovating your kitchen and taking out all the old cabinets. You think they are awful, but your neighbour mentions they like them and are looking for more to extend their kitchen (exactly the same as yours in style and shape). You offer neighbour whatever they want from yours when removed, they offer to pay you, you say no need. Builders remove them and neighbour takes most of the cabinets, again offers you money, you say no need, we are throwing them out anyway.
Couple of months later neighbour puts thank you card through your door with money inside, card says you saved them a fortune and enclosed is a gift of cash (roughly 15%ish) of what they saved, but to you its really a lot of money.

Your OH says you should give it back as it wasn't necessary and its too much money to accept. You want to keep it, a) because you could really do with the money, b) it would be embarassing to give it back and c) you insisted at the time there was no need, so they must really want to.

So, who is right?

keep it. What a great neighbourhood!

Excellent! Is this an AIBU first, both unanimous and rather warm and fluffy?

I will of course abide by the MN jury, and send a warm thank you note to neighbour (and remember them for some of the kids home made cookies and/or sweets at xmas). I didn't think much of it at the time, but I suppose if someone had done the same for me I would have been grateful (though not nearly as generous )
It really is a nice neighbourhood, we aren't friends or anything, but enough to say hi and borrow a cup of sugar kind of thing!

Wow a unanimous AIBU thread! Pretty sure that's a first and for that reason, and that reason alone, I declare

YABU!

(Keep it for all the reasons above - nice neighbours)

Give it back at once!

Just kidding, another vote for keeping it.

keep it - and buy them v nice bottle of wine to put in cupboards.....

Glad you won the argument! edd's idea is nice, though, decent bottle of wine to keep in the cupboards would be a nice gesture. Although then you might get into some complicated tit for tat favour chain where they reciprocate with Christmas presents for the kids, and you feel obliged to do the same, and eventually you have to force your eldest child to marry theirs...

Buy them a nice Xmas present or something - wine is good if they drink (if you wait till Xmas, less chance of an edam-esque nightmare scenario )

YANBU - you are right - you declined 3 times - to decline again would be rude. they clearly want to make a payment. Drop them a thank you card and say it was unexpected and that you were more than happy to let them have it for free but appreciate they wish to mke a contribution and perhaps you will use some of it to buy a lovely bottle of wine which you can all share over the Christmas period.

And then buy shoes!

Or buy them a cake tin for their new kitchen and bake a cake to put inside it.

What lovely neighbours! I agree you have to keep the cash. You were polite in refusing it the first two times, but it's clear that they will be embarrassed if they can't give you something. And if it starts off a train of giving, well, great! It will build a nice strong neighbourly relationship.

keep it. Send them a thank you, say you are glad it saved them a lot of money, say you really didn't want anything for it but since they really want you to you will accept gracefully and will enjoy spending your unexpected windfall.

Let them have their pride. My parents donate firewood to our elderly neighbour. He insists on giving them cabbages from his allotment in return. It makes him feel better about accepting charity and the cabbages are very nice too.

Nice Op and nice neighbours that's what I say.

If you feel bad about the money you could always donate it to a cause that is special to you or you could treat yurself to something you have quite fancied but couldn't quite justify spending the money on.

Keep it but if your finances allow spend it on something specific and tell them what the money has been used for.