to hate it when ex- mil texts me to ask how "her baby" is?

[friendlyfox]

she;s MY baby, my first, only 16 weeks and her son and i aren't even tog anymore! shall i ask him to tell her to rephrase?

I remember when DD1 was only a couple of months old and MIL and I were chatting and she referred to DD1 as her baby. I must admit that it riled me at the time, when I was still in the throws of being a new mum and having sleepless nights etc. But looking back I can see she only meant it in a 'I really love my granddaughter' way IYSWIM. But I do remember thinking 'get stuffed you old bint, DD1 is my baby', I didn't say it out loud, because babies don't really belong to anyone.

DH and I now have 2 DD's and I love it when MIL refers to them as her girls. It shows how much she is thinking of them and how much she loves them.

I think that if you don't want your ExMil to refer to your DD as her baby then get your ExDP to have a word. But I think your MIl may just be using it endearingly IYSWIM.

It could be worse, she could do what my mum did a couple of times when DD1 was a baby and called herself DD's mum

It's the sort of thing my mother says about my DS all the time. It's just a turn of phrase.

I'm sorry, I don't understand why people get upset when others refer to their children as 'my baby'.

My mother calls my DS her baby all the time. I call my nieces and nephews my baby all the time.

I don't mean I want to take them away. I mean I love them.

Its just a turn of phrase ..I refer to my dgs 's as my boys all the time ...[interfering grandma ]

I'm with whoever said to tell her you're not sure - perhaps she could try him on his mobile. She's YOUR baby, not anyone elses. My bloody sister keeps referring to my kids as 'her babies' and it drives me mad - not sure her own DS or DH is that impressed either

well, it's good to know that this is a common phenomenon, and i'm not the only one who finds it irritating. But i probably am over-reacting, and you're right that it's great she's interested and supportive.
I'll grit my teeth. As for other, more important battles to be won, this is definitely true. Last month she picked DD up IMMEDIATELY after having a fag (outside) and KISSED HER ON THE MOUTH . Clearly, this is of greater import.
Thanks for all your imput though

YANBU to hate it, but if you have a good relationship with MIL, I don´t think its worth losing that for, TBH!

It's generatioal - my friend's mum does the same thing (annoys my friend too) but think some people are just brought up that way and so now they are GP's use the same language they heard when growing up. Yes it is your baby - she is just excited about being a grandma. Ignore it.

It is very common, my MIL does it all the time. I really don't mind as I feel it shows she just really loves them, but I can understand why others don't like it! Maybe your MIL needs reassurance that she will be a part of your dd's life?

However, YAcompletelyNBU in thinking her kissing dd on the lips after having a cigarette is a problem - yuck and unsafe!

I wouldnt like it and would probably be passive agressive about it with texts back saying you havent heard from exh or that 'my' baby is fine. I'm not suggesting you do that tho, I'm sure you will rise about it!

Your MIL probably means nothing by it, and doesn't even think about how her witterings are affecting you.

As others have posted you will (unfortunately) have bigger battles on your hands.

I would lay down the line regarding smoking though. If she keeps up smoking during/ just before meeting up with DD, then plan to meet her outside, and infrequently.

And congratulations on your little baby girl!

Congratulations on your DD!

YABU - your post should have been about ExMIL smoking/kissing

I don't think it's sweet at all I think it's plain weird