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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking that if the nosy old hag of a lollipop lady cannot keep her opinions and judgements to herself she should get another job?

27 replies

ShinyAndNew · 21/10/2009 16:17

Its been going on all year now and it's starting to piss me off. She has clearly decided that I am 'a bad mother' and is sticking to that presumption.

Her 'helpfull' comment today was;

to dd2 'Oh poor dear, do you have to carry your umbrella? Your too little for that. And look your all wet and cold. You should be warm and dry in your buggy'

This was after she had shook her head and tutted at me. Dd2 is 2.5 and had asked to 'Walk. Rella. Sool' We had enough time for her to dawdle walk to school, so I didn't

OP posts:
TrillianSlasher · 21/10/2009 16:19

Methinks she chose that job specifically so she could make judgey comments at oblivious children.

reikizen · 21/10/2009 16:20

Just shows how appearances can fool you. It's interesting to hear your explanations behind what obviously appear to her to be examples of bad parenting! She is very sure of herself isn't she?

justaboutautumn · 21/10/2009 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

choccyp1g · 21/10/2009 16:20

Does she do this to everyone ? Since she talks to the children ignoring you, I'd be inclined to do the same, loudly, "Don't listen to the silly old lady dear, it's none of her business"

JustAnotherManicMummy · 21/10/2009 16:21

Tell her to fuck off.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 21/10/2009 16:21

Tell her to mind her own fecking business.. GRR on your behalf.

YANBU!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 21/10/2009 16:23

Or you could try "And that is why you must work hard at school. So you don't end up a nosey old bag"

Stayingscarygirl · 21/10/2009 16:23

Ask the school to have a word with her - tell them the sorts of things this woman has been saying. Or you could speak directly to her and ask her to stop making such nasty and judgemental observations about you and your children when she's not in full possession of all the facts. I think I'd do the latter.

Original poster
ShinyAndNew · 21/10/2009 16:24

I haven't heard her say anything to anyone else but I have heard some one say 'Let's cross on the other side so we don't have to listen to that stupid woman'

I might just do that Choccypig, I have been hoping that I would be able to remain calm enough just to do the smile and nod thing. But it would seem not

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyAndNew · 21/10/2009 16:26

Ha Justanothermanicmummy. I like that one. I might try that one

OP posts:
posieparker · 21/10/2009 16:27

Next time she crosses you without comment, just say "thank you, I don't think I could take any more of your unfounded comments about my parenting today."

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/10/2009 16:28

Or start singing the theme tune to the Muppet Show whenever she comes into view.

whoooooisasking · 21/10/2009 16:36

I have found a good way to deal with people like this is the following:

Rude Person: "I thought you'd lost weight, but now you've stood up I can see I was wrong"
Me:
Me: I beg your pardon?
Rudey: I...was...just, erm, saying...
Me: Well, if I were you, I'd be very careful of how you say things, that sounded RUDE.
Me:

And if this fails, then I agree with the posse at the school gates.

PeppermintCream · 21/10/2009 17:06

I would smile at the woman, and say "thank you for taking an interest in my lovely children. If you have any questions or concerns, please would you direct them to me. As I'm sure you are aware, there is always a bigger picture." then I would speak very loudly to the children and say "what a nice lady, she couldn't see your boots on the buggy/ didn't know what a big breakfast you had at home etc I'll let her know next time." then tell her to f off under your breath!

PeppermintCream · 21/10/2009 17:07

Yanbu by the way.

RainRainGoAway · 21/10/2009 17:10

I would speak to her directly, a huge smile on your face and be incredibly nice to the point it makes your teeth itch. Then cheerily sing GOOD MORNING at her.

Nothing passive aggressive people hate more than having someone be passive aggressive back.

Tortington · 21/10/2009 17:11

hold up hand and say " not today please"

and repeat.

Original poster
ShinyAndNew · 21/10/2009 17:14

Wooooisasking, I can't believe some one said taht to you. How rude.

OP posts:
kittymax · 21/10/2009 17:21

Wow. What an annoying woman. Have you asked any other parents if they get these comments? I'd def wanna sort her out. Maybe you could join in and tell your children what you think of her hairstyle/choice of shoes? Or maybe ask the children whether they think she should consider going on a diet? Personally, I'd ask her what exactly her problem is. And then report her.

Missy8c · 21/10/2009 17:21

YANBU. I'm surprised you haven't shoved her lollipop where the sun doesn't shine!!

anonymous85 · 21/10/2009 17:28

What a pain in the arse. Sounds a bit like my passive aggressive MIL

She's probably a loner and needs to get a life. I bet she is like it to everyone, not just you personally.

Try and call her out on it and defend yourself, or do what that other woman does and cut across the street before you reach her

southeastastra · 21/10/2009 17:31

wow i'm going to get that job when i'm a pensioner so i can judge everyone - fun

KimiTheThreadSlayingAxeKiller · 21/10/2009 17:36

I'm gonna go get that job now

hanaboo · 21/10/2009 17:37

i like whooooooo's idea

PuppyMonkey · 21/10/2009 17:42

I like the idea of just telling her to fuck off best of all.

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