To be annoyed by concerned friends asking when I'm going wean

[dorisbonkers]

Well, of course I'm not. But I'm finding it so deeply annoying that instead of supporting me at a vulnerable time (going through a very sleepless period, bit depressed, struggling to adjust returning to the UK) they imply that I'm being ridiculous, or somehow pusillanimous or even ruining my daughter's health by continuing to breastfeed her. She's only a year old FFS and I'm happy to feed her and love doing it. Especially if I've had a bad day, which I'm having a few of recently.

I am having some issues relating to co-sleeping and night feeding while she's teething/ill but I'm hurt by comments that by not sorting out the sleep with controlled crying or some other method right now I'm stunting her intellectual development.

Even my mother, who breastfed me for a year, makes bitty comments. And I get the feeling my best friend is projecting some sense of failure over her short breastfeeding career.

I usually have a thick skin. But feeling the way I do, and on so little sleep, I'm losing my perspective.

ARGH

You may be right, MorrisZapp. And I definitely think that I'm on a bit of a depressed tip right now, so I'm taking things the wrong way .. sometimes.

I am hurt by my friend and my mother. I really sense that anything I say will be jumped on as if proof of my permissive parenting. When all I really want is a hug.

I think it is a lot easier to dismiss or brush off hurtful comments when they come from people less close to you. Have you told your mum and best friend that their 'advice' makes you feel bad? They may not realise how negative an impact it's having.

every child goes through a sleepless stage, or disturbed nights, its part and parcel of parenthood.

i breastfed my babies for years, and towards the end , i must admit i only told those that asked, or simply , they found out when i fed in front of them.
by the forth child , i didnt give a monkeys what other people thought!

i am not against formula, i think we are lucky we have two safe choices in how to feed our babies, however, what i really hate is the way some people give that food to babies.

like for instance the mothers who would roll a bottle towards their baby who was crawling on the church hall floor at mums and tots groups. one i remember who used her FOOT.

Oh Doris, ask your mum for a hug. Or just hug her!

Or hug me, I'm right here ((( )))

Doris, if they are being that rude, frankly you do seriously have a point.

Tell them you find their comments unneccessary and inappropriate. If they question, simplify it to you are being out and out RUDE.

You are doing a bloody good job as a mum, you are doing the right thing for DD.

Ok so perhaps a push chair would be a real boon to you - helps carry shopping more often than not!

BTW GinaFord book buying mummies don't all behave like that, only the mannerless and ignorant ones.

Your Mum is being a bit rude too, you are the DD mum, it's your system and they have nothing to do with it.

Best thing is to tell them everything is fine, don't share any frustrations with them, it just gives them something to say. Come on here, we'll help you with the fallout of fretful sleep etc...

oh, and HUG!!

I have friends (and a mum) like yours.
I carry my baby in a variety of slings (he's almost 18 mths) and he's still breastfed. I had a comment the other day off my mum - very loudly announcing that "HE'S TOO OLD FOR THAT NOW" refering to him being breastfed. The builder in her house didn't even notice that DS2 was being breastfed until she said that, and I was so embarrassed by her, not by me breastfeeding.

I'm now not on talking terms with a friend because of me continuing to breastfeed, because of her being unable to breastfeed. She made some very nasty comments to me about continuing to feed and hasn't spoken to me since.

There are people out there who may feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed and unfortunately they take it out on those who can, abd try to use it to justify why they didn't/couldn't etc.....

you're not alone
I feel the same.

I now feel that it's just me, my DH and my boys. I have friends, but I always feel judged by them. Yes, judged, not them being helpful. When they pull a face at you at the mention of breastfeeding an older baby and they tell you that it is disgusting, then that is judging, not trying to help.

stick with it, you know that it is working for you, so nobody else matters.

Thanks folks and your hugs are welcome.