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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to scream!!!!!

21 replies

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:09

I swear dp wants to get us into further debt!!!

3 years ago I discovered he had a credit card that he wasnt paying, well I sorted this out and it got paid off and cut off.

Well recently he got himself another credit card, wasnt happy about it but was too late when I found out, he promised it would get put away and not used.

Anyway, yesterday a statement turned up, which he read and put away, saying he didnt owe anything.

ANyway, because of what happened in the past, soemthing made me look this morning (wrong I know) before I went to work and he does in fact owe them money, (only a very small amount) but need less to say Im not happy about it but dont know what to do. Havent said anything to him yet as I did look without telling him but know he wouldnt show me.

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feellikeafraud · 20/10/2009 19:20

How much is the amount?

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:26

Its only £5 but Im just worried that no he has started using it he will keep using it and we will end up in the situation we were in before with him hiding statements, and lying.

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Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:27

Ps Thanks for replying, dont know what to do so thought sounding it out on here may help.

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beaniesinthebucketagain · 20/10/2009 19:29

YANBU

granted its only £5 but he lied, ive had this issue before, talk to him calmly, say if he needs to use it fine, BUT it MUST be kept on top of, hes bloody lucky to get credit at the moment!

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:47

THank you for the reply. I guess Im worried cause Ive just about got us on top of our current debts, ( he only just started working again after 3 months out of work) and this could cripple us if it gets out of hand.

I will talk to him in a bit but I know he will turn it round to the fact I looked at statement.

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Twintummy · 20/10/2009 19:50

I think you are justified in looking at his statements in view of the past history. Long story won't bore you with but DH ran up huge debts (had bills going to his work address to hide from me) so now it's paid off and sorted I open any credit card bills that arrive and everything is out in the open.

diddl · 20/10/2009 19:55

Did he put it anywhere that you might have "accidentally" come across it?

I think the fact that you got him out of debt before entitles you to look.

Can you just ask him to let you see it?

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:56

I think I mite suggest that, although sometimes he is home and Im not as he looks after lo when I work and via via.
I am tempted to ask him for the card so I can put it somewhere safe but dont know how he will take to that.
I just dont understand him, he is always moaning we have no spare cash, he is happy that the debts are being straightened out and then he goes and does this.

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ScaryFucker · 20/10/2009 19:57

he should be sharing all the financial info with you, going off his past history

truly, if he is behaving so immaturely by lying and hiding things, he deserves to be treated like a child

yanbu for snooping, nor for being pissed off

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 19:59

We boith have trays we put our paperwork into till we can sort it out.

I can ask him to show it to me but I know he wont as come ot think about it he didnt open it till I was upstairs sorting lo out yesterday(he had been home 15 minutes beofre this) and it was put away by the time I came back down.

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Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 20:01

Thank you all for your replies.

I will talk to him in a bit, just putting it off as I know he will turn it into an argument!!! Will do it tonight though as dont want to be worrying about it at work tomorrow.

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diddl · 20/10/2009 20:04

It´s a hard one, isn´t it.

This is my house, and as far as I´m concerned I can look anywhere I like without "snooping".

Perhaps you could say that even though he told you there is no debt, you´re worried because he was furtive & hid the letter?

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 20:08

Will have a chat with him in a bit and let you know how it went.

Thank you for all the advice.

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lucky1979 · 20/10/2009 20:10

Are you sure that the 5 pounds isn't a charge for a service on the card rather than something he's spent? I get things like that every few months, despite genuinely keeping it in a drawer and not knowing the pin number anymore!

PeedOffWithNits · 20/10/2009 20:18

why would you keep a card that you rarely use and get service charges on lucky1979 ??

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 20:21

By the look of it, He bought something on it in september for £2 something, paid £5 onto it in October ( knew nothing about it) and now owes £5.02.

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Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 20:23

Ps Like your name Peedoffwithnits(we have had the little friends too).

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lucky1979 · 20/10/2009 21:20

Peedoff - For emergencies. I like knowing it's there just in case something went horribly wrong and I needed to find money fast which wasn't available from my savings for whatever reason, like a broken boiler or whatever.

Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 21:43

Just had a chat with him and he just started arguing about how I had looked at statement and how I promised him I wouldnt look at his paperwork again.

And in response to the usage all I got was yeah well I used it and Im paying it back. He couldnt understand that that wasnt the point. We only just have enough to pay the bills etc and he knows that.

He did shred the card though.

Im just as annoyed now.

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Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 21:44

Ps Diddl, my point of view is the sam asyours and I never hide paperwork from dp but unfortunaltey his is not the same.

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Foxy800 · 20/10/2009 21:56

ALso found out its about £10 not £5!!!!!

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