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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dress a baby girl in 'baby boy' clothes?

54 replies

CoffeeMum · 20/10/2009 16:33

I already have a toddler DS, and am pregnant with my second, who is most likely a girl - though they can't be sure until it's born. I was intending to dress the new baby almost entirely in DS's old clothes, even if it's a girl, but now i'm having second thoughts. On the plus side, we'd save alot of money and we're quite hard up at the moment. However, i'm wondering if we're genuinely going to get away with dressing a girl in alot of blue. People really do assume the gender of a baby based on the colour it's wearing don't they?

I had presumed we'd buy a few choice pink or girly items for special outings, and people are very generous with presents etc. Also, I'm not too worried about what baby wears to sleep in, be at home in, see friends who know full well if it's a girl. But am I going to get really bored of saying 'actually, she's a girl' to the inevitable questions in the street?

Anyone been in a similar boat? What's the etiquette here?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 20/10/2009 17:49

My DD has a lot of hand-me-downs from her boy cousins. Lots of pairs of mini-jesns for example, which I have just bought girly tops to go with.

But I don't dress her super-girly, so even in a sweater and leggings (both intended for girls) people assume she's a boy because she isn't done out like Barbara Cartland

overmydeadbody · 20/10/2009 17:49

YANBU

As long as babies and children are warm, clean(ish) and dry it really doesn't matter what they are wearing.

Have a few things like a pink blanket or coat for when you're out with the baby (it is winter after all) if you really want people to know that she's a girl.

Longtalljosie · 20/10/2009 17:50

mini-jeans, obviously

sillysalley · 20/10/2009 17:53

I have a friend who luckily has a close friend who is in the opposite position

e.g. DS preg with DD - her close friend DD preg with DS.

They have therefore swapped many clothes which I think is a fab idea. Would be nice if you could meet someone in the same situation, Im sure there would be someone else on Mnet in a similar situation.

BTW - I dont see any wrong in your idea, with a pink bonnet etc, you can easily get away with it.

diddl · 20/10/2009 18:01

I would also say get away with it for as long as you can!

pranma · 20/10/2009 20:46

My dgs2 wears all his big brthers clothes except for one huge glorious pink bib passed down by a friend which was so absorbent and useful.Everyone commented on 'her' on the evidence of the bib alone-very funny.It was so good I found them on Amazon and bought more in blue,green and turquoise.[they are by Silly Billyz if anyone is interested]

LittleSilver · 21/10/2009 05:20

Of course YANBU.

My DDs wear nearly all boys/neutral clothes.

Because i can't STAND pink/purple/headbands bleurgh

Fufulina · 21/10/2009 08:47

I have a DD (my first) and buy lots of boy clothes for her anyway because I can't bear the princessy/appliqued birds and butterflies that you get on so many girls clothes. I do steer clear of the digger/truck embroidery on the boys clothes though...

To be fair, I normally put her in some lovely tights, but I do get a lot of 'how old is the little fella?'.

Couldn't care less! So no - YANBU.

wheredidiputit · 21/10/2009 09:12

YANBU.

But then dd2 is wearing 2ndhand boys jeans and ds is wearing a 3rd hand pink and yellow stiped vest today .

jumpjockey · 21/10/2009 09:17

Old ladies will assume your baby is a boy whatever she's wearing - dd was in a red and white striped dress, yellow leggings, and pink shoes with hearts on and an old lady still said "what a sweet boy" just because she's got short hair and therefore must be male (sigh). Dress her in whatever you like!

Feierabend · 21/10/2009 09:20

CoffeeMum, I have two girls and have always dressed them in boy's clothes a lot, as I am not a big fan of pink and frilly (although I am slowly coming round to the idea now). You'll find that even when your dd wears pink socks, or a girly red t-shirt, people will automatically assume she's a boy. It does bother me a bit but not enough to dress my daughters in girly clothes all the time. And now DD1 can speak for herself, we have incidents like this:

Mum on playground, to her son: 'Let the little boy go first' (referring to my DD, who is blocking the slide)

DD1: I am a girl, actually.

PCPlumIsMyHomeboy · 21/10/2009 09:38

DD wore lots of boys stuff (and still does, now she's 3) because we just don't do the pink thing.

TBH people did ask me, every day, what the little boy's name was. When I said, nicely, 'she's a girl, and her name is X', they'd get flustered and say they thought she was a boy because of her hair. Er, she's a baby, this just is her hair, I didn't cut it this way. So then I gave up and I just used to say 'Clive', and then smile at them.

Mind you, other people just are weird. When DS was a teeny baby, a lady in M&S said, "He's completely bald-do you shave his head?" He's 8 weeks old, FFS!

lanismum · 21/10/2009 09:56

Dd1 was always mistaken for a boy, I didn't dress her very girly though and she had very little hair so it was to be expected, dd2 has never ever been mistaken for a boy even though I dress her in a similar way to dd1 (skinny jeans, converse, not always overly girly) I think its because she had loads of hair and quite a girly face, ds has quite a bit of hair and because I dont do the head to toe in blue thing people always assume he is a she, like boys cant wear red, orange, purple.....it doesn't bother me though, boy/girl, what does it matter? I have a cousin with a very pretty but very bald almost 2 year old though, and she is always dressed very girly but is always mistaken for a boy....cousin gets quite upset...it doesn't help that she also has a boys name.........

differentnameforthis · 21/10/2009 10:11

When dd2 (15mths) was born I was given a large bag of clothes from MIL's friend. It contained 'girls' & 'boys' clothes. Trousers, jumpers, tees, hats, socks, the lot! From newborn to 3 so far, with more to come.

Dd wears all of it! She looks lovely in blue. If those who don't know her (& don't care to ask) call her a boy, I don't bother to correct, just agree!

She looks particular lovely in a blue tee with a dinosaur on it!

We also buy Dd1 (6) clothes from the boys section sometimes, as she loves Bob the Builder, Thomas & dinosaurs and I find it more suitable than the pink tat that some stores sell.

I don't seem to be able to find dark clothes for girls here & dd1 loves playing in mud & getting scruffy, so darker (boys) colours are better!

Feierabend · 21/10/2009 12:09

lanismum, I am intrigued, what's your cousins' dd called? Edward?

Chrysanthemum5 · 21/10/2009 12:27

I think the others are right. If you use anything pink people will generally assume girl. However, I have dressed DD in pink from head to toe and been told she is such a handsome boy!
I think you will find you get a lot of girl clothes. Fortunately for me the DCs have older cousins so they both get lots of hand me downs - only downside is DD's cousins are very keen on pink so her clothes do tend to be quite pink and flowery / princess themed! Not really my favourite, but it doesn't bother me enough to actually go out and buy her own clothes

Lionstar · 21/10/2009 12:34

My 2.8 DD refuses to wear anything apart from hand-me-downs from her 4 year old male cousin, so she permanently looks like a boy. Hey-ho though it's her choice and that's important at this age, though I did manhandle her into a flowery blouse this morning for the photographer coming to nursery - I only got away with it because it was blue!

3 week old DS on the other hand is living in her (thankfully mostly neutral) cast-off baby clothes. He is sporting a pink pram blanket though, poor thing!

DitaVonCheese · 21/10/2009 13:14

YANBU. DD wore plenty of boys' stuff even though she is our PFB, partly due to an aversion to pink and boys' stuff comes in more fun colours, partly so I can use it for any subsequent DSs. And yes, people think she's a boy anyway, even when she's wearing a pink dress. An acquaintance of DH couldn't work out what gender she was (at about 3 months) because she was wearing a pale blue cardie over a pink babygro, but my favourite is an old man on a bus who told me to tell her she was a good boy. At the time she was wearing a red babygro covered in big pink flowers. I told her she was a good boy and then waited until he was gone and hissed "You're a rubbish boy! You haven't got a penis or anything!"

allaboutme · 21/10/2009 13:15

Most of it will be fine for her to wear.
Get on freecycle and ask for girly clothes though to add to your clothes and then you'll have a good mix and match selection.

lanismum - is your niece called Ellis?

stubbornstains · 21/10/2009 14:24

I'm expecting a boy, but hate pastel blue very nearly as much as pastel pink....or pastels at all, full stop. Plus, I haven't got a washing machine, and anything pale you wash at the launderette seems to end up slightly grubby.

Deploy the Dylon!! I now have a nice batch of green babygros, to be followed up with some yellow and purple ones too. This will also be useful as I have a friend who is due 3 months after me, so whatever the sex I can offload the whole lot straight onto her.

I wouldn't worry too much about money either- I have a full set of newborn- 3 month clothes now, and the only new stuff I bought was a pack of vests from ASDA (considering busting the budget and splashing out on a pack of socks too- last of the big spenders eh?). Everything else was from friends/ charity shops. I reckon I've spent about £20- plus another £15 for the dye...

invlanderen · 21/10/2009 14:29

OP, don´t worry about it, dress the baby in the clothes you have. IME, people STILL asked the sex of my dc, even if dressed in pink from head to toe...

verytiredmummy · 21/10/2009 14:33

A little bit of a hijack but I was thinking about this the other day.

My son is currently obsessed with Lady and the Tramp and the baby in that is a boy, but wears a pink babygro and has pink bows all over his crib. It was made in the 1940s I think, but set earlier as the ladies all wear long dresses. So pink for girls must be a relatively recent development...

I don't know what my new baby will be (am 27 weeks pregnant) but I think it's a girl and if it is, she'll wear lots of my son's old clothes.

lanismum · 21/10/2009 16:05

My cousins dd is Riley, I know it can be used for a girl too but its usually a boys name, I reckon thats why a lot of people think she is a boy, as she has a very pretty face and is quite obviously a girl, even without lots of hair

Feierabend · 21/10/2009 16:17

Oh I like that name

moomaa · 21/10/2009 16:56

If you are lucky you will get lots of hand me downs passed your way as people realise the situation. My dd hasn't needed to be dressed as a boy too much (but is occassionally and most of the time at bedtime). I decided that she wouldn't have to have his coats though. Now ds is older most of his old clothes are fit for the bin