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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not pay any money for this?

33 replies

AChocolateDigestive · 19/10/2009 12:22

DP nad I don't live together- he lives with 4 other young professionals in a house.

They planned a housewarming party and had it on Friday night. Woman who lives with DP bouht lots of alcohol - but the invite was 'bring a bottle'. Party began at 7pm, by 9pm when I came people were piling into taxis to go out. Nobody invited my DP or me. DP had to stay to 'mind' the house because a few people at party really hadn't planned to go out. DP was not asked whether he minded staying. Of course he didn't mind and would not have minded if he had been asked, but I could tell he was upset all his friends left without him and not asked if he minded looking after house.
Anyway, the few stragglers left at about midnight so DP and I left to mine. At 6am received a text from woman he lives with 'where are my wine bottles?'. Luckily didn't wake DP up and I didn't respond, had no idea where wine was.
Next day she sends a text 'you owe me money for alcohol' So he rings and asks what money, she said she had bottles of alcohol and it all got drank at party so my DP has to pay for it/ buy her new alcohol.

Not sure why my DP needs to foot the bill really but she is now being very difficult. He and I are struggling for money at the moment, he really can't afford to pay her. He feels he should for an easy life but my point is- if you but lots of alcohol on a table at a party people will drink it. If you don't want to share you don't put it all out. Why should my DP pay when he was left to look after the house while they all went out and had a good time, and he didn't even drink it!! What's more she was so impolite in the messages!

AIBU?

Hope that all made sense!

OP posts:
IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 19/10/2009 12:24

cheeky cow.

emsyj · 19/10/2009 12:25

If you invite people to a party and then swan off out leaving a number of guests in your house then you have to expect they will drink your drink/eat your food/make a mess. She needs to grow up. YANBU.

colditz · 19/10/2009 12:27

The correct answer is

"Get to fuck you grasping bitch"

ben5 · 19/10/2009 12:27

that'll teach her to leave it out!! don't pay her anything

seaglass · 19/10/2009 12:28

YANBU, but I think your DP needs to be a bit more assertive - it sounds like he's being walked all over by his housemates

Chickenshavenolips · 19/10/2009 12:29

@ colditz

Ronaldinhio · 19/10/2009 12:30

did she discuss buying some booze to get the party started with the others before the decided to have a housewarming?

i think that that is fairly standard
buy a bit of booze and some nibbles as hospitable hosts for the guests whom you have invited.

If she is suggesting that they all share the costs then that sounds reasonable
suggest that to your dp

BalloonSlayer · 19/10/2009 12:31

Maybe your DP should text her back with

I didn't drink it, perhaps you should ask -then a list of all the people left at the party - for the money.

By the time she has asked all of them they'll all know what a grasping weirdo she is.

Original poster
AChocolateDigestive · 19/10/2009 12:33

Ronaldihio- they did all contribute to a punch and nibbles etc but not to this alcohol which she bought.

I told him he was a 'walkover' which went down badly. . I want to ring her and tell her off for being such a bloody selfish bitch! But obviously he doesn't need me to fight his battles.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2009 12:34

yanbu but your dp does need to stand up for himself

you host a party, you buy drinks, you bugger off, drinks get drunk

sounds normal to me

you say he was upset that his friends left without him

and that it was a party but you and dp (who live in the house) were not invited

what kind of friends does he have?

if you and dp are struggling for money maybe he should move in with you and save paying rent twice?

Original poster
AChocolateDigestive · 19/10/2009 12:45

Rubbish friends obviously. That is the plan for next year but he is on a year contract which he can't get out of. To be honest he will be glad to leave there.

OP posts:
HowlingAtTheMoon · 19/10/2009 12:47

What a stupid cow. Tell her to feck off.

Original poster
AChocolateDigestive · 19/10/2009 12:49

Ha I am glad we agree on this! Silly girl, she needs to grow up and join the real world. She fell out with all her housemates in her last house and now I can see why.

OP posts:
bramblebooks · 19/10/2009 12:51

So she arranged a party (not with DP?), didn't invite DP but expects DP to foot the bill? Who does she think she is? Paris Hilton?

upahill · 19/10/2009 12:55

Top answers ballonslayer and Colditz!!
Some funny folk out there!!!

Inghouls2 · 19/10/2009 12:57

Cheeky Mare!
Tell her you didn't drink it, and if she was so worried about the wine, she should have stayed at home to mind it!
Some people...

cupcake123 · 19/10/2009 12:59

Tell her you asked the internet and it said no.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2009 13:01

pmsl cupcake Xmas Grin

SCARYspicemonster · 19/10/2009 13:03

Tell her you saw someone gathering it up with them when they got in one of the cabs so assumed she'd taken it

TheMightyToosh · 19/10/2009 13:03

Tell her you didn't drink it so you're not paying for it! If she wants it paid for, she will have to chase up all the people at the party to make a contribution.

Stupid cow

Blu · 19/10/2009 13:06

e mail:

Dear Flatmate,
I cannot begin to understand why you think i owe you an money. You went out and left your wine on a communal 'help yourself' party table. You then left me to mind the hosue, I can only assume that your friends who were left behind drank the wine, because I didn't. Also, as the invite said 'bring a bottle' (which I did, and drank none of yours) there was no discussion about a central contribution to wine.

If you wanted your wine to be there when you got back you should have put it away before you went out.
Best wishes,

ImSoNotTelling · 19/10/2009 13:10

when can he move out?

They sounds like horrible flatmates

FatFree · 19/10/2009 13:12

clears throat

I'd say "piss off you cheeky bitch!!"

mayorquimby · 19/10/2009 13:16

never has "go fuck yourself" been such an applicable reply.

Original poster
AChocolateDigestive · 19/10/2009 13:24

I love this. I was thinking maybe there was something I had missed, but obviously I am completely in the right

I love colditz's reply, may try that!

OP posts: