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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be livid about the state of my house?

14 replies

Twintummy · 18/10/2009 08:30

First post but lurked for a while.

I'm so livid. On Friday night I came down with the kids sick bug. I was really ill. DH rang from work at 8pm, told him I was really sick. He said he was going to work drinks but wouldn't be late. I said fine as younger kids were in bed and older one can sort herself out but I said remember I'm ill so I going to need lots of help with the kids on Saturday. It's a nasty bug.

Anyway he gets in at 1am, very hungover he gets up with the kids and takes them to the park etc so I spend day in bed.

I've got up today feeling slightly better and the house is a total bombsite. Every room is wrecked (our 3 kids are very messy). The kitchen is a disgrace with dirty plates etc everywhere.

Am I wrong to feel so angry? If he was ill in bed I wouldn't let the house get so messy. He's literally looked after the kids and nothing else. He even got them a take-away for dinner. I know he was hungover but come on, he could have loaded the dishwasher.

We often row about cleaning and tidying as he doesn't get how much I do and what a relentless task it is with 3 children.

Sorry what an essay! Thanks for reading if you got this far

OP posts:
carocaro · 18/10/2009 08:35

I feel for you, DH has done this before.

But just get back into bed, tell DH to stick the kids in front of a DVD whilst he clears up and you will be spending the rest of the day in bed!

It never friggin stops does it, all the shite to be done, but stay put and let him do it!

thirdname · 18/10/2009 08:39

Same here, I'm sometimes away for just a day (work) and it's unbelievable how much mess they manage to make!
Do dc help tidying up eventually?

girlsyearapart · 18/10/2009 08:40

yanbu but I wouldn't have expected much more tbh!

My DH has a moan about our house when he gets in some days and it irritates me that he doesn't realise how hard some days are.

I went away recently for 2 nights and got home about 45 mins after dds had been put to bed.

DH was laying on the sofa surrounded by mess.

I wasn't too happy about the mess but didn't say anything as I was far too smug happy that he can now see that it's a hard job.

Maybe your DH will have more respect for your job now? Don't be too hard on him just revel in your superior multi tasking skills

Hope you're feeling better.

Original poster
Twintummy · 18/10/2009 08:47

He does a lot of cooking and gardening which I hate and he loves. He does tidy but in the week he gets in late from work everynight and everything is done.

I'm calming down, he's in the kitchen looking a bit sheepish washing up.

DD is tidying her room and my twins are tidying wrecking as I type.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twintummy · 18/10/2009 08:59

I guess I wouldn't be so angry if he didn't give me a hard time about cleaning and the state of the house. Bloody hypocrite!

He's never got how much I do and what a thankless task it is. He'd like to live in a show home which is impossible with our 3 kids!

OP posts:
seaglass · 18/10/2009 09:04

Go back to bed, and tell him you won't get out til it's all done, and give him a hard time if it's not done to your satisfaction

dutchmanswife · 18/10/2009 09:27

Everytime he mentions the state of the house from now on remind of how well he didn't cope this weekend

ShinyAndNew · 18/10/2009 09:36

I think most some men believe that houses clean themselves.

Dh has done this to me before and every other time the house gets messy he always seems a bit surprised and cannot work out why.

biggirlsdontcry · 18/10/2009 09:48

oh twintummy yanbu , my dh is exactly the same , he often comes home after work & points out the parts of the house that i haven't had the chance to get to yet & it drives me up the wall , but then on his day off he says things like " oh sit down for a few minutes will you " cant bloody win sometimes . he rarely helps out around the house but the odd time he will tidy away the dc's toys & gets fed up when a few minutes later they are all over the place again , to which i reply " welcome to my world"

girlsyearapart · 18/10/2009 17:07

biggirls my DH does the same- expects it all to be tidy then says 'Why don't you sit and rest whilst they're napping?' or similar. Can't win..

thesecondcoming · 18/10/2009 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFANGo · 18/10/2009 17:14

Naturally you have told him to get cleaning and tidying?

teameric · 18/10/2009 17:27

YANBU my DH is at this moment sitting on his arse watching football, totally oblivious to the carnage that my DD is making around him.
Men just don't seem to see mess, my DH's excuse is that he is at work all week so it's "not his job", so basically it all gets left to me

biggirlsdontcry · 18/10/2009 20:19

you have my sympathy teameric , my dh uses that excuse too , he's at work all week etc
thing is though he gets lunch breaks & days off , i don't . grrrrrrr men .
girlsyearapart - very annoying isn't it

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